I'm supposed to be writing today, but instead I'm busy photoshopping Alexander Skarsgard into birthday cards (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAMIE!). So... oops.
But now I'm here... and... I'm listening to this song and I better change it soon because it always makes me want to weep openly and think about being young and stuff and, you know, ponder just how much EVERYTHING MEANT!!
However, I love it. I even wrote about this song back in March so it's fitting that it gets another mention on another cool day.
Speaking of which, this weather is the greatest thing ever. I'm sitting in my office with the window open and earlier I drove up and down 71 with the windows down listening to embarrassing music. I might even have been singing along and everything. Don't tell anyone. Have I talked about how I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder in reverse? I swear it's true.
Okay, why I'm really here is because earlier when I was at Target I saw this and it made me laugh.
I think when I was a kid family movies consisted of things that had Muppets. Times sure have changed. Though this is obviously a mistake, I bet this is actually family fare for some people... which is scary.
In other news, I thought this was pretty cool:
I live in a pretty conservative area (I won't even talk about what percentage of people out here voted for John McCain, it's too depressing) so I was pretty impressed and pleased to see the Crestwood branch of the Oldham County Library celebrating Banned Books Week with such an impressive display. I hope you all support your public libraries!!
And finally... last week's Twitter Poll -- God, it was so long ago I don't even remember the question, oh yeah! -- "Who's your favorite cheesy 80s band?" Kind of boring, I admit, and I figured I would just get 100 tweets saying "Journey" and that would be that. However, I don't think there's anything cheesy about Journey, they're so awesome and all, and only one person (@theotherjeff) rang in with, "Journey, poll closed." Other votes filtered in for "Kiss, sans makeup" (@darthspacegrass), Europe, Kajagoogoo, Van Halen, ABC and Wham and I almost had a winner with Pseudo Echo (!!!) but nothing... and I do mean nothing... beats Modern Talking! Many thanks to @monsieurarkadian for blowing my mind with this:
How I never heard this song, I do not know. What I do know is that my life was sorely lacking until I saw this. Now I am complete. Please follow along with this Twitter shizzle (I live to resurrect dead lingo) @mspark.
Aren't these posts super fun? It's like my brain connected directly to the internet and hurled. I bet we'll be able to do that someday. Someday soon... unless it all crashes (which I'm secretly hoping for. God I would be so productive). I could keep going here, but I wont... I mean I'd like to discuss how I discovered Tucker Max last night and would now like to punch him in the face. Am I allowed to say that? I don't really mean it. Well maybe a little, but I do NOT condone violence, kids!
I know where I'm headed in a few weeks! To Banner Elk, NC for the annual Wooly Worm Festival!!!
Okay, not really, but my pal Dennis Sheridan recently suggested that the Courier-Journal should have more headlines about wooly worms and, you know, that's a fine idea. I thought wooly worms didn't get much recognition (and really, they deserve it), but when I started searching I found there are wooly worm fests all over the place (even in Kentucky! In Beattyville!)
Normally I'm rudely unsympathetic when people are all over Facebook and Twitter moaning about Mondays because every Monday could be Wednesday for me... or Sunday... Days have no meaning except in regards to what's on the telly. This says something potentially quite tragic about my life but we won't focus on that, no no.
I awoke this morning to a melange of mysteries. (Also, my "E" key on my computer is broken and keeps going "EE" thus turning all my words into Dutch. If anyone knows how to fix this, please let me know.)
Anyway, I awoke to the glorious feeling of fall approaching. I've been positing the theory recently that I have Seasonal Affective Disorder in reverse. I get freakishly depressed during the summer and spend a lot of time hiding in the house. So, crisp, cool and breezy? WIN.
Unfortunately I woke up at 9.30 after going to sleep around 5. Going to sleep around 5 is pretty normal for me. Waking up at 9.30 is not. In my delirium I ended up with this song stuck in my head. I hate clowns. Who doesn't? I will say Judy Collins looks great, but still... FAIL.
Then I saw this picture on my friend Jamie's blog... which, incidentally, is pretty fun... need to add her to the blogroll. I'm never having kids, but if I did I would be proud to call this one mine... which is probably why I shouldn't ever be having kids. However, definitely WIN.
I hate to end on a FAIL because I'm feeling all cheery about the changing of the seasons and going back to tae kwon do after an eight month absence and life is grand and all that, but a friend of mine sent me this about an hour ago and really... I have no words. THERE ARE NO WORDS! Okay, I had some words, but I am unable to print them here. I don't know, what do you think of this? I'm inclined to say EPIC FAIL.
That's all for now, ladies and gentlemen. I will return later with some Twitter Polling results and other randomness.
I've been full on overdosing on nostalgia lately (I'm getting up there, people, I'm allowed!) and now I'm starting to wonder if I missed the 70s coming back? I caught the 80s because that was the first time I realized I was there for the original and, "Who are these tarts in Flashdance sweaters?!!" I wondered in outrage.
Anyhoo, I have fond memories of David Gates (and Bread) despite the fact that they were my father's favorite band. Or maybe it's because of. In any case, it took a long time for me to get back to these smooth classics from yesteryear (I sound like one of those Time Life infomercials now), but once I did they welcomed me back like warm cocoa on a chilly day! Yes, I'm aware that makes no sense.
Really I just miss the days when a man could wear a sparkly jacket and still be a man.
I love hearing Dick Clark at the end... "Ohhhh man alive..."
Here's another reason I shouldn't poo poo the return of the 90s. This song is excellent for when you're having lots of feelings and stuff. I was psyched to find a live version since I never managed to see Satchel in concert.
I was always impressed that Shawn Smith could go from Satchel to Pigeonhed. I love the Lo Fidelity Allstars remix of "Battle Flag" almost as much as "Suffering." Such a sultry voice.
Hrm... I wonder where he is today. Maybe I can stalk him and be his Facebook friend or something.
This is old but a friend just sent it to me, and now I share it with you.
Also, if you missed Monsters of Folk on Conan, you can SEE IT HERE...
I was going to write a whole post about The Wonder Stuff today but Universal won't let me embed their videos. Humf. I'll have to go find some postable music to be inspired by. Until then...
If you read my Emmyspost I do apologize, but I did mention that Ricky Gervais was quite funny and well, here he is.
I'm watching Conan while waiting for Monsters of Folk. Waiting for Monsters of Folk apparently includes listening to Rebecca Romijn tell us how her husband (Vern from Stand By Me - great film, you should see it, ha ha who hasn't?) shaves his legs so he can look thinner... or something. TMI, right? Can you imagine being Jerry O'Connell tomorrow? Perhaps he has no shame.
Oh, now it's time for Lisa Lampanelli. She scares me. She's funny. But, uhh, sort of disturbing and now she has pink hair.
It's summer, 1991. A young woman squatting in an apartment in Walthamstow spends her meager savings on weekly issues of Melody Maker hoping to find the feel of something new. Reviews that spark imagination, more money spent at the local record shop, EPs bought, crackling sounds of vinyl echoing through the flat to lonely ears, to a heart that's gone a week without speaking to another soul (unless you count the man at the 7-11 that rang up her cigarettes and packets of Minstrels).
No better soundtrack to lost days and isolation than sounds of bands like Moose, Chapterhouse, and Slowdive. That wash of guitars that wash right over you, dragging you in the undertow, long looks at strangers, visits to Highgate cemetery, getting lost in London watching the cricketers play the day away. She's a lucky girl who ventures out one night to the Marquee to see all three and though no one notices this singular soul, she's taking it all in and will remember forever.
Those days feel distant nearly 20 years later but one struck chord and she's back again... back to a sadness that's delicious, to Linda McCartney vegetable sticks and Pakistani pizza, to the discovery of Milan Kundera and a journey that would take her all the way to Prague and then home again.
Here we go, ladies and gents... I'm trying to remember who hosted the Emmys last year... Ellen? No wait, it was the Reality TV hosts. God, that was awful. This year we're graced by the presence of Neil Patrick Harris. Oh dear, he's singing already. Who wrote these lyrics? This is not... a promising beginning. However, the Emmys probably always win for biggest snoozefest, right?
So here we go...
8.05 pm NPH is doing... shtick. Or is it schtick? Either way it's a little painful as he makes fun of the opening to Lost and shows us where the band's sitting.
8.07 pm A montage. Already. A comedy montage. A comedy montage that's not funny. I'm starting to feel like maybe I should just give up now.
8.10 pm Tina Fey and Jon Hamm make an attractive, if not funereal, couple as they make a Seth McFarlane joke and present Outstanding Supporting Actress Comedy to Kristin Chenoweth for the now dead Pushing Daisies. That wasn't a pun. She's wearing a disco ball and cries through her entire speech. Props to Elizabeth Perkins for being the only nominee who managed to look sincerely happy for her.
8.14 pm Cat Deeley!!! I LOVE Cat Deeley! I'm not quite sure what this breakthrough thing is, though.
8.20 pm John Hodgeman is doing color commentary. Will Justin Long be on, as well, to point out how inferior he is?
8.21 pm I think every guy here is wearing a black suit, white shirt and black tie. I wonder if they planned this. It's like twinkies en masse.
8.22 pm Matt Hubbard wins for Outstanding Writing Comedy for 30 Rock. Hey, I want to write for 30 Rock!
8.24 pm A Harlem Globetrotters gag. Really??
8.25 pm Jon Cryer wins Outstanding Supporting Actor Comedy. I've never seen Two and a Half Men, but again... really??Kevin Dillon is unamused. That's not a joke, they cut to him and he looked pissed. Jon's acceptance speech is interrupted by an advert for Gardasil.
8.34 pm The WLKY Weather crap supercedes Justin Timberlake, apparently. He's presenting Outstanding Actress Comedy... and the winner is... wow... Toni Collette for United States of Tara. I love TC, but she's looking a bit orange tonight. Quite an upset as I'm sure everyone was expecting Tina Fey to win.
8.39 pm HELLOOO Blake Lively's boobs! Interesting dichotomy between her and Leighton Meester who looks positively virginal in her toga. This new Emmy format is confusing, but I think they're here to let us know that Tina Fey and Justin Timberlake won something... ohhh, Outstanding Guest Actress & Actor for Saturday Night Live. They also give Jeffrey Blitz an award for Outstanding Director for The Office.
8.46 pm I'm totally realizing why I've never blogged this show before.
8.48 pm Alec Baldwin wins Outstanding Actor Comedy for 30 Rock while Jemaine Clement sits there going, "Why?! Wha?!" A mildy amusing moment in an otherwise lobotomy inducing show. I am impressed that people aren't managing to look happy for the winners this year. There are a lot of grim faces out there.
8.52 pm This Family Guy bit is NOT FUNNY. Hrmm... kind of like... the Family Guy. (I used to love that show. I don't know what happened.)
8.54 pm Oh God another montage. A montage covering the year in Reality TV. A montage that's followed by a performance by two of the Dancing with the Stars dancers. I'm starting to feel like I'm not the target audience for this show. Hey wait, is that Dom? And Hok?! 20 bucks says this was choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon. HA! I called that one. Err... yeah.
8.59 pm Outstanding Reality Host goes to Jeff Probst for Survivor. That show is still on?
9.08 pm Amazing Race wins Outstanding Reality Competition Program. I've heard it's good, but I'll never watch it. Is that Jerry Bruckheimer?!
9.09 pm We're moving on to Movies and Mini-series with... you guessed it... A MONTAGE.
9.13 pm Shohreh Aghdashloo takes Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie for House of Saddam. Can anyone else hear this weird heavy breathing? This is totes creepy. I know I sound crazy, but I swear there's some funky audio going on.
9.15 pm Outstanding Supporting Actor goes to Ken Howard for Grey Gardens. A friend of mine who works for HBO told me to watch this but... well... I haven't. Zing! He makes a Kanye/Joe Wilson joke.
9.24 pm Brendan Gleeson takes Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie for Into the Storm, another HBO movie I've never seen.
9.26 pm I love the giant sepia toned photos heralding the arrival of Patricia Arquette and Jennifer Love Hewitt. They present Outstanding Writing to Andrew Davies for Little Dorrit... except he's not there. The Directing Emmy goes to Dearbhla Walsh for... Little Dorrit. Have any of you seen this movie? Let me know how it is. Good, apparently.
9.30 pm The accountants speech has been hijacked by Dr. Horrible. And Nathan Fillion. Dreamy Nathan Fillion.
9.34 pm Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie goes to Jessica Lange for Grey Gardens. All the ladies look happy for Ms. Lange. She's had some work done and she's rather self-tanned but hey... she's Jessica Lange. Oh look! There's Justin Long! What did I tell you?
9.37 pm No one has said "my cast" or "my crew" yet. This is a victory for all of us. God, I hate that. I even tweeted an actor recently who said, "I'm about to watch the show with my cast" to ask him why he/they do that. He has not replied.
9.43 pm I think the Emmys are back on, but WLKY would rather tell me it's raining. Okay, yes, I missed Grey Gardens win for Outstanding Movie. I did not, however, miss Little Dorrit's nod for Oustanding Miniseries... or Anna Torv's boobs. I think cleavage is the real winner tonight.
9.47 pm Moving on to Variety! I bet it's time for a... okay this is the best montage of the night, but still.
9.49 pm If you're still here, you're a real trooper and I thank you from the bottom of my sad, bored, tragic heart.
9.50 pm Outstanding Directing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Series goes to Bruce Gowers for American Idol. He's chewing gum... and talking about hamburgers.
9.53 pm My favorite award is always the Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Series Emmy because the nominee bits are always so amusing. The team from The Daily Show (who had the worst one!) takes it.
10.02 Oh goodie. Jimmy Fallon. Things will surely improve now. After doing a rather unfunny auto-tuner piece he presents Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics to that snoozeville opening number that Hugh Jackman did at the Academy Awards. Congrats to the winners for giving the best acceptance speech thus far. I actually half smiled.
10.05 pm They're letting us know the In Memoriam montage is coming in 11 minutes... so we don't change the channel, I guess... because they all know we're dying to do it.
10.07 pm Thank God for Ricky Gervais, that's all I have to say. There's actually audible laughter. He gives Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series to The Daily Show. I have to say John Hodgeman's commentary has been mildly amusing but hard to hear.
10.13 pm There's nearly a whole hour left. Seppuku would probably be extreme at this point, but I am starting to think about it.
10.17 pm It's DRAMA TIME, y'all! And what better way to celebrate the next round of awards than with a... oh nevermind.
10.19 pm Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama goes to Michael Emerson for Lost. That guy totally gives me the heebs. Remember when he played that serial killer on... I mean, isn't he always a serial killer? Outstanding Actress goes to Cherry Jones for 24. Kevin Kline looks unimpressed but then he's appeared dour all night.
10.23 pm Oh dear, it's Sarah McLachlan singing "I Will Remember You," but instead of looking at heartbreaking puppies it's IN MEMORIAM time. Considering how many people have passed away lately I hope this is the extended remix. Fred Travalena died? Damn. Patrick Swayze gets a louder round of applause than Paul Newman. Such is the power of Johnny Castle.
10.33 pm Did they put David Boreanz and Stephen Moyer together because they've both played vampires? HOW CLEVER! They introduce Ellyn Burstyn and Michael J. Fox (winners of Outstanding Guest Actress and Actor in a Drama) who give Rod Holcomb the Outstanding Director award for ER. Outstanding Writing goes to Matthew Weiner and Kater Gordon for Mad Men.
10.39 pm Glenn Close takes Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama. What an upset!
10.48 pm And Brian Cranston wins Lead Actor for Breaking Bad. I think Jon Hamm is crying.
10.53 pm 30 Rock wins Outstanding Comedy and Tina Fey is adorable and witty as always. She's like America's Emma Thompson.
10.56 pm Apparently Sookie meeting Bill on True Blood has won some sort of Breakthrough Performance Award. And Vaseline Sheer Infusion would like to congratulate Bill. This isn't weird or anything.
11.01 pm Mad Men takes the big prize, Outstanding Drama, for the second year in a row. Everyone I know loves this show, but I just can't get into it. I fear I'm not grown up enough.
Final thoughts... Neil Patrick Harris should get rave reviews for his hosting duties considering how many people gave him props during the show. I enjoyed the nominee bits with the directors and writers... nice to hear them have a say. However, I will not be blogging the Emmys again because, like this post, it was long and boring.
Thanks for reading and impatiently wondering when this post was going to show up.
Lately I've been having this discussion with Tom, wondering if, when I'm on my deathbed will I regret the many hours I spent online, weeks watching tennis, days spent reading trashy books and watching Project Runway?
Well, now I am guilt free, ladies and gents, because my answer to this be NO.
I also remarked, as a rationale, that it's not like if I wasn't watching the VMA's I would be in Peru scampering around Machu Picchu (which I really want to do someday, just not right at this moment).
Anyway, as I was going through Google Reader (the greatest invention ever) this morning I found this share from my pal Beth (original post here), and it was a real Oprah A Ha! kind of moment. I enjoy being a homebody, I like watching too much So You Think You Can Dance, I don't mind spending long hours IM'ing with friends. I'm going to run with the theory that maybe if I feel less stressed out about not being productive I will actually be more productive.
Fittingly, as I sat down to write this post I closed my eyes and clicked on a random song in iTunes...
Mmm, love this song. A favorite at the disco... back when I did that sort of thing.
In other news, this week's Twitter Poll, "Who had the worst outburst and why? Joe Wilson, Serena Williams or Kanye West?" was probably the most popular yet. In the end Joe Wilson won it by six with Serena Williams coming in second. True to history, Kanye just can't win at anything. There were a lot of "We expect athletes and musicians to be jerks" comments. This is sort of refreshing because I also expect politicians to be jerks, as well.
Don't you want to answer my dopey questions, too? Follow along @mspark. Fair warning, I post comments and links to Twitterers in my reportage. So really, this is a good opportunity for you to see your name on the internets!!!
I'm sitting here watching the US Open Women's Doubles Final where Venus and Serena Williams just won. Oh yay. Mary Carillo said last night that she was shocked (and seemed dismayed) that they were even letting them play. Well, I guess Serena's winnings will more than cover the measly $10,500 fine levied on her after her major spazz out in the Women's Semis. But you know, apparently Serena has apologized now so we should all move on. Nevermind that it took her two days, a press conference where she said, "Who? Me? Apologize?" and an appearance at the VMAs for her publicists to come up with it.
Speaking of the VMA's... I've updated my post to include links to many of Lady Gaga's fabulous outfits. I'm definitely revising my opinion about LG. I would never have the guts to wear a bird's nest to an awards show. Maybe I should try it when I run my errands tomorrow. I bet the other housewives at the Springhurst Target will be muy impressed.
I'm a little baffled over all the Kanye West outrage. Yes, Kanye made a lame move taking the mic from Taylor Swift and crapping all over her teenage dreams, but really... this is the VMA's we're talking about, people. It's not the Grammys... it's not even the People's Choice Awards (do they even still have those?). I find it hard to believe that young Taylor's soul is seriously wounded over Kanye telling the world that Beyonce's video is the best ever. As my internet friend Phil Looney says, "When Kanye drops a new single with Taylor Swift singing the hook, don't act surprised." Also, Whitney Pastorek coined the phrase #kanspiracytheories and it's taking off. It will be interesting to see what West's reception is on tonight's Jay Leno Show.
Anyway, I've included Taylor Swift's winning video in this post. Decide for yourself if it beats Beyonce's rope climbing. I think not.
(The above is proof that the internets now move faster than the speed of crappy pop culture. Thanks to Yael for this find.)
Why am I doing this to you, you might ask? Why am I doing this to myself is the better question. Blogging is pain, people.
9.00 pm This show gets more and more ridiculous as each year passes. I'm sure 2000 and fine will be no exception. I think I'm only doing this for Russell Brand and certainly not for...
MADONNA(!!!!), who kicks off the show looking Botoxed to the max. Maddy's weaving a fascinating (not really) tale of how Michael Jackson's life was just like hers... or something. I guess she had dinner with MJ and held his hand? And there's crotch grabbing and moonwalking going on in her house? People are crying... or pretending to. MADONNA, YOU ARE SO FULL OF GRAVITAS I BET YOU WOULD CRY, TOO, IF YOUR FACE COULD MOVE!!!
9.08 pm Okay, Madonna finally stopped talking about herself and now a bunch of dancers are doing a Michael Jackson montage. I get why we're paying tribute to MJ and everything, but I'm sort of oh please at the fauxness of it all. However, I will say it's pretty kick ass that Janet Jackson is there lip synching away as Beyonce goes wild.
9.13 pm Part of the reason I love writing about shows like this and the Teen Choice Awards is so I can find out just how out of touch I am with what's going on in pop culture. Like now, who is this chick singing, "We Will Rock You?" Katy Perry? I mean, I know who Joe Perry is at least. Hey, I was right! It is Katy Perry. Is she related to Joe? I bet she's his long lost sister.
9.16 pm Russell Brand hasn't been onstage more than ten seconds and he's already said something disgusting although I'm not quite sure what. Something about a hole/entrance (sorry). Russell implores us all to love each other because Robert Pattinson and P Diddy are in the house. I thought he was just Diddy now? See, I know nothing.
9.18 pm "The Jonas Brothers have to forgive me, they're Christians." Best line of the night so far.
9.20 pm I'm not even going to hang my hat on this Lady Gaga hermaphrodite bit.
9.21 pm "I suppose English people are a bit different than you... instead of letting people die in the street we have free health care." Zing!!
9.23 pm Shakira and Taylor Lautner go through some stupid she-wolf banter and present Best Female Video to Taylor Swift for "You Belong with Me." I've never heard this song and now I realize what's been missing in my life. I bet Beyonce is pissed.
9.25 pm OH MY GOD. Well, that happened. In the middle of Taylor's acceptance speech Kanye West burst onstage, took her mic from her, and yelled out "I'm really happy for you, I'm gonna let you finish, but Beyonce has one of the best videos of all time. OF ALL TIME!!" I totally wrote that Beyonce joke before this happened so I'm not taking it out. I never thought I'd feel sorry for Taylor Swift but, well, apparently now I do. People are standing and cheering and booing. It's mayhem! Stay classy, Kanye!
9.27 pm I really feel like I should stop watching now because where can the show go from here? It's all downhill, I'm sure.
9.34 pm Jack Black asks everyone to pray to the devil with him while Leighton Meester looks mildly disgusted. They give Best Rock Video to Green Day for "21 Guns." I guess praying to the devil really works because Kings of Leon did not win.
9.38 pm Taylor Swift is busking at the 42nd Street station. Kanye killed her career superfast. I'm impressed. Here I was thinking he wasn't that relevant anymore.
9.48 pm Pete Wentz is really short.
9.49 pm Lady Gaga's mask makes her look both cross-eyed and like the guy from Flock of Seagulls. An impressive feat. Given her almost complete lack of clothing I'm pretty sure we can safely say she is not a hermaphrodite. This "Paparazzi" song is ridiculous but since Lady Gaga is an Illuminati puppet I kind of dig her. Apparently playing a horrible piano solo will kill you because inexplicably she's covered in blood now. Man, I hope she doesn't die or anything.
9.55 pm I just realized this show is two and a half hours long. I thought it was only two. I am now inconsolable.
10.00 pm I think Russell Brand just said he wanted to slip a roofie to Megan Fox. Euw.
10.03 pm Best Pop Video goes to Britney Spears. Umm, wha? Geez, where's Kanye now with the outrage??!!
10.05 pm Green Day are playing. Katy Perry's rocking out. This is a good time for a pizza break.
10.16 pm Be still my beating heart, it's R-Patz and the rest of those Twilight people. I'm sooo Team Jacob. Oooh it's an extended look at the New Moon trailer. Dakota Fanning is creeeeepy. God, I remember what it was like to have tons of feelings as I tried to save my one true love... I felt just as confused as Kristen Stewart generally looks.
10.20 pm Oh goodie, Beyonce's here. I super hope she does the rope dance. Please do the rope climbing dance, B! It sounds like she's about to cover Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight." I'm so glad she's bringing leotards and lasers back. Someone needed to. YES!!! I swear that rope climbing gets me every time. I actually just exclaimed and Tom's like, "What is wrong with you?" Poor Tom. He suffers for my art, too. Cuz yeah, this is art. Holy crap there's like fifty leotard ladies on stage now. If they all rope dance I'm going to explode. Drat. Denied.
10.32 pm Diddy (or P Diddy?) and Jamie Lynn Sigler give Best Male Video to TI, who is apparently in prison on a federal weapons conviction. Well, that's the cleverest excuse I've heard for skipping this crappy show. Thank God Kanye didn't win. He was roundly booed when they announced his name as a nominee and I was feeling totes uncomfortable about what would happen if he took the prize. I'm too delicate to witness a tween riot.
10.38 pm Apparently Muse is big here now. Thanks a lotStephenie Meyer. I liked them better when they were ALL MINE.
10.40 pm Cyndi Lauper, Tracy Morgan and Eminem are doing a video skit together. Never thought I'd write that sentence.
10.43 pm It's hard to be funny every two minutes so if part of this sucks, sorry.
10.49 pm J-Lo presents Best Hip Hop Video to Eminem. First Britney, now this... MTV is sooo ten years ago.
10.51 pm I wondered when the DJ AM tribute was coming (some rapper, I have no idea who, is doing a song). It's interrupted by shots of Jay-Z's motorcade. I see.
10.57 pm I defended Russell Brand last year, but he's sort of bombing. At least his hair looks normal. I can live without hearing about his erections, though.
10.58 pm Tracy Morgan sings "Time After Time" while Eminem gives Best New Artist to Lady Gaga. Her outfit is making me seriously LOL. It defies description. She says her award is for "God and The Gays." See, she's awesome.
11.00 pm Serena Williams introduces Pink and makes a joke about stepping over lines. I guess most people did not see her hideous freak out at last night's US Open. Or maybe they did and are cheering anyway. Oh God, I can see Pink's boob. When is this show over, again? Pink is singing (read: lip synching) while upside down. This reminds me of Tommy Lee on the Motley Crue Theatre of Pain tour (except he was actually playing).
Okay, I find it oh so fitting that as Serena was busy making stupid jokes at the VMAs, Kim Clijsters was busy kicking ass in the US OpenWomen's Final. So... you know... joke's on you Serena.
11.11 pm Only twenty minutes left! w00t! I don't even want to know how long this post is.
11.12 pm Gosh, it's Andy Samberg and Jimmy Fallon. It's Video of the Year!! It goes to Beyonce for "Single Ladies" (I told you the rope climbing was powerful). Vindication for Kanye! Lady Gaga has a bird's nest on her face (see, what's not to love?)!
Okay, Beyonce just let Taylor Swift have her acceptance speech. And Taylor just happened to be right there. With a mic. Wearing a cute red dress just like Beyonce. Sorry, but I think I have to call BS. Does this make me a horrible cynic? Good.
11.20 pm I think all that's left is Jay-Z and his motorcade arriving and blah blah blah. I feel cheated just like at the Movie Awards when I believed in Eminem's outrage over Sacha Baron Cohen's crotch in his face. Fool me once, MTV!!! Now the shame is all on me..
How awesome is this? Thanks to Yael for sharing this on our favorite thing ever, Google Reader.
And then there's...
Told you I was going to get as much mileage as possible out of this tree kangaroo. I'll be rooting for Marin Cilic all the way over Juan Martin Del Potro tomorrow so I can keep posting little buddy here.
I told Tom he should get a furry cape with horns and he agreed this is a good look.
In other news, I've started up the Twitter Polling again because certain people really seemed to miss it and after reading the three millionth item about Jon and Kate (but what about the eight, I wonder), I had to know... Team Jon or Team Kate?
So far I've only received three votes for Jon (two unenthusiastic), none for Kate and most answers run along the lines of, "Team Neither" @theotherjeff, "Team Birth Control" @beaucoupkevin, and "Team Child Protective Services" @lyngay. Where do you fall in the great Jon and Kate debate? Play along on Twitter @mspark. Also, people like to poo poo the Tweetdom but there's some really funny stuff on there... like this.
In other other news, Marin Cilic is busy kicking Andy Murray's butt. I think it's because he has tree kangaroo power. If Cilic wins, I'm going to find some way to link to that picture every day he stays in the Slam.
Isn't this picture pretty? Soothing, even. (You can see loads more excellent images at pixdaus.com.)
I'm using it to erase the past couple of hours where I made the unwise decision to read the crazy people reaction to Obama's education speech and watch the crazy people reaction to Obama's speech (did you know it was illegal to have lesson plans where kids talk about what they want to be when they grow up?).
It's so unsettling to me, this fear based Feary McFearystein loony bin rhetoric. Would someone please explain to me how it was okay for Bush to do warrantless wiretaps, but it's NOT okay for Obama to tell kids to set goals and step away from the XBox?
Somehow I am missing the logic.
In other news, I would love to see Georgia native Melanie Oudin step in and win it all at the US Open. That would be pretty delightful. Did anyone else see Novak Djokovic call John McEnroe down for a quick game last night after his match? That was super cute. Looking forward to Marin Cilic vs Andy Murray later this afternoon and would like to see Cilic pull off the upset if only because of this photo.
These excellent videos came to my attention via the magical world of Google Reader shares. Google Reader - a wonderful invention that totes changed my life. I swear by it, I tell ya!
Okay, I confess this post is targeted specifically to two people, namely my husband and our friend Shane. I could have just shared it on Google Reader but figured why not spread the joy around?
In other news, I am super pleased that the US Open has started. I used to watch only Wimbledon but now follow all the Slams. Of course, I'm all w00t! that Rafael Nadal is back but bummed that both Ernests Gulbis (who didn't stand a chance against Andy Murray) and Janko Tipsarevic went out in the first round. I don't know if one of my other faves, David Ferrer, is even in the draw. You know who I'm not rooting for? Andy Roddick. Yeah, I said it. The ladies are disappointing. I spent years actively disliking Maria Sharapova, but she's ditched her creepy dad and for God's sake, at least she doesn't cry during matches. Ana Ivanovic seems like a sweet girl, but as Lleyton Hewitt would say, "Come on!"
Yes, it's true, I used to LOVE the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It's also true that I stopped loving them after Uplift Mofo Party Plan, an album to which this song, "Behind the Sun," belongs.
I went to see RHCP with Faith No More (back when they had Chuck, back when they were good) at the Arcadia in Dallas in early 1988. Or maybe it was late 1987? I even remember the bitchin' psychedelic leggings I wore, which is strange since I dropped acid that night and had quite an adventure. Actually, I remember a lot of details from that night...
(I think I mentioned before that while yes, I had quite a misspent youth, I am now a boring old tea-totaler, etc etc etc. My mother reads this blog and everything and she's definitely not one of those "cool moms." She is old school, which I like.)
It was the sock tour. I was homeless but apparently still had access to cute outfits. My friend Gail and I were more excited to see Faith No More than the Chili Peppers but both acts were equally excellent (and that's not the drugs talking). It remains one of the best concerts I've ever seen.
After the show we went to a party at Gringo Manor (if you were in Dallas in the late 80s, maybe you remember) attended by FNM and possibly RHCP but on that part, details are sketchy. Some of the band were really nice (the drummer), some were not (I won't say here). Somehow, Gail and I managed to kidnap bassist Billy Gould. We took him back to her apartment where we hung out with her seven cats and talked about how "Sleep is the Enemy" is some sort of motto at M.I.T.
Okay, I realize this post turned into 20 year old stories about another band but, err, you know... "Behind the Sun" was my favorite Red Hot Chili Peppers song for a long time. I hadn't listened to it for ages, and it showed up on the ol' iTunes today.
Love and Rockets are near and dear to my heart for several reasons. They were the first band I listened to after I lost my virginity... they just happened to be in the cassette player as I drove off. I went to see them in concert when I was 16 (with The Bolshoi opening!) and got so drunk on wine coolers that I puked into my friend's Snoopy thermos. I had a crush on drummer Kevin Haskins and years later met him through a mutual friend at The Viper Room. I think I just smiled goofily and didn't manage to say anything very interesting.
Okay, that's enough of True Confessions with Love and Rockets. Maybe it was all in my mind...
I'm on the fence about my love for Snow Patrol. And this video for the song "Chasing Cars" is beyond hilarious. I wonder if the rest of the band refused to be in it after they found out the premise.
However, I won't deny the fact that SP shows up on several mix CDs I have in my car, and every time they come on I roll down the windows and fly down the highway pretending I'm starring in a movie made up of the better parts of my life. I certainly didn't just come from Target and I definitely don't have a 12-pack of Charmin sitting in the trunk.
