Watch him...
While listening to them...
Bit insanity making, actually.
Thanks to Jason and Jeff.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Today's Mesmerosity - You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb
Hypnokitty is tha bomb.
Watch him...
While listening to them...
Bit insanity making, actually.
Thanks to Jason and Jeff.
Watch him...
While listening to them...
Bit insanity making, actually.
Thanks to Jason and Jeff.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Live Blogging the VMAS - Caught In A Bad Romance
I'm just gonna say up front that I'm thrilled this thing is only two hours long because my soul can only take so much gore. Gore that comes in the form of artists like Ke$ha and Justin Bieber with his mini hipster combover or whatever that stupid hairdo is. You know the one I mean? The hair that is brushed forward. I am old. I do not get this trend. Or maybe I am just uncool... this much I know to be true.
Oh mah gah! Here we go!!
Hour I
9.00 pm - Kicking things off with Eminem's big comeback. Where did he come back from? Didn't his record come out a while ago? Like back when Borat put his privates on Em's head? Or was that Bruno? I'm on the fence in re Mr. Mathers. Like his music.... his lyrics, perhaps not so much.
9.04 pm - I want Rihanna's boots. I'll pass on the Madonna "Like A Virgin" ensemble, though.
9.05 pm - The audience is pretending that performance was transcendent.
9.06 pm - Lindsay Lohan does... notlookgood. That's what life in the pokey will do to you.
9.07 pm - Lady Gaga has a house on her head. Oh wait! That's not Lady Gaga!! It's Chelsea Handler! My goodness, that's soooo funny.
9.09 pm - Chelsea makes some "angry black man" joke about Snoop Dogg. Wha?
9.12 pm - Handler's opening monologue is so inappropriate I can't talk about most of it here. It's also not worth mentioning. She just called Kanye the "big black elephant in the room." Enough said.
9.14 pm - Nothing says MTV generation like Ellen DeGeneres.
9.15 pm - Best Female Video goes to Lady Gaga for "Bad Romance." She is totes awesome sauce. And I'm not even making fun when I say that.
9.19 pm - Chelsea Handler is doing her best to ensure that it will be another 500 years before another woman hosts the VMAs and we're only 20 minutes in.
9.24 pm - Someone is cheering wildly for the Jackass people. Why, I'm not quite sure. They present Best Rock Video to 30 Seconds to Mars for "Kings and Queens." Jared Leto's band got popular? I really have been living under a rock. I get the same sad feeling seeing him as I do when I see Claire Danes. MSCL FOREVER!
9.29 pm - Isn't Justin Bieber like 14? So that really makes the Handler vagina jokes and Kim Kardashian's faux stalkerage a little disgusting. Hrm, he's 16 (I Googled). Well, that's so much better. He still looks 12, though. Waitaminute, if he's 16 why does his voice still sound like this? Castrati?
9.39 pm - Trey Songz and Ke$ha introduce someone I've never heard of. Tom was playing Trey Songz in the car the other day and I was muy afraid. That stuff is dirty, yo.
9.40 pm - Someone just told me this is Usher. I feel like I should be embarrassed that I didn't know, but I'm not. I am proud.
9.41 pm - Someone wishes he was Michael Jackson.
9.46 pm - Best Male Video goes to Eminem for "Not Afraid." Eminem's not even there, anymore. What a ripoff.
9.53 pm - Hey, Florence and the Machine! Something I'm actually excited about! I like most of this record and everything even though Eat, Pray, Love tried to destroy "Dog Days." Well, I was sort of hoping this would be a band performance and not Florence and the cast of Hair but this is the VMAs.
Okay, it's 10... time for Hour I to hit the presses. See you again when it's all over. Hey lookit! N.E.R.D.!
Hour II
10.04 pm - Chelsea Handler is draining me of my will to live.
10.05 pm - Best Pop Video goes to Lady Gaga for "Bad Romance." Didn't I write that sentence earlier? She is presented her awards first by Ellen DeGeneres and then by Ellen DeGeneres' double Jane Lynch whom I lurv.
10.08 pm - Replaying the Kanye West incident before Taylor Swift sings some lame song where the first line is "I guess you really did it this time" is just the worst. In the intro they made it sound like this solemn song was written in response to West's interruption as if a) the VMAs are really that important and b) that incident didn't garner her positive press that probably netted her millions of bucks. I'm going to go vomit now. If this song really is about Kanye I'm going to throw up twice.
10.25 pm - I can't see Drake without thinking Degrassi. Sorry, dude.
10.32 pm - The VMA's have a lot of commercials. That is probably the most exciting observation I've made all night.
10.36 pm - Best Hip Hop video goes to Eminem. Zzzzzzz...
10.36 pm - JWoww was looking so demure earlier. But now, in the hot tub... I don't want to make flotation device jokes but her implants are highly ridiculous.
10.46 pm - Someone with attractive orange hair is warbling on the VMAs but I'm being distracted by angry Chelsea Handler fans who are telling me to -insert swear word here- off on Twitter.
10.48 pm - Thank you, Yael. The orange haired girl is the singer from Paramore.
10.55 pm - Justin Bieber just won something. Should I care what?
10.56 pm - Linkin Park is attempting a comeback. They really were gone. Right? Oh my God they're at the Griffith Park Observatory!! They're desecrating sacred ground! Case of the vapors, I has them.
11.06 pm - Viva Cher! She doesn't need to turn back time because that bananas outfit still fits!!
11.07 pm - Lady Gaga wins Video of the Year. Who's not happy for Lady Gaga? No one. Her next album will be titled Born This Way. She cries and everything.
11.09 pm - Here comes Kanye. Kanye vs Swift. West, FTW.
And goodnight, good people.
Oh mah gah! Here we go!!
Hour I
9.00 pm - Kicking things off with Eminem's big comeback. Where did he come back from? Didn't his record come out a while ago? Like back when Borat put his privates on Em's head? Or was that Bruno? I'm on the fence in re Mr. Mathers. Like his music.... his lyrics, perhaps not so much.
9.04 pm - I want Rihanna's boots. I'll pass on the Madonna "Like A Virgin" ensemble, though.
9.05 pm - The audience is pretending that performance was transcendent.
9.06 pm - Lindsay Lohan does... notlookgood. That's what life in the pokey will do to you.
9.07 pm - Lady Gaga has a house on her head. Oh wait! That's not Lady Gaga!! It's Chelsea Handler! My goodness, that's soooo funny.
9.09 pm - Chelsea makes some "angry black man" joke about Snoop Dogg. Wha?
9.12 pm - Handler's opening monologue is so inappropriate I can't talk about most of it here. It's also not worth mentioning. She just called Kanye the "big black elephant in the room." Enough said.
9.14 pm - Nothing says MTV generation like Ellen DeGeneres.
9.15 pm - Best Female Video goes to Lady Gaga for "Bad Romance." She is totes awesome sauce. And I'm not even making fun when I say that.
9.19 pm - Chelsea Handler is doing her best to ensure that it will be another 500 years before another woman hosts the VMAs and we're only 20 minutes in.
9.24 pm - Someone is cheering wildly for the Jackass people. Why, I'm not quite sure. They present Best Rock Video to 30 Seconds to Mars for "Kings and Queens." Jared Leto's band got popular? I really have been living under a rock. I get the same sad feeling seeing him as I do when I see Claire Danes. MSCL FOREVER!
9.29 pm - Isn't Justin Bieber like 14? So that really makes the Handler vagina jokes and Kim Kardashian's faux stalkerage a little disgusting. Hrm, he's 16 (I Googled). Well, that's so much better. He still looks 12, though. Waitaminute, if he's 16 why does his voice still sound like this? Castrati?
9.39 pm - Trey Songz and Ke$ha introduce someone I've never heard of. Tom was playing Trey Songz in the car the other day and I was muy afraid. That stuff is dirty, yo.
9.40 pm - Someone just told me this is Usher. I feel like I should be embarrassed that I didn't know, but I'm not. I am proud.
9.41 pm - Someone wishes he was Michael Jackson.
9.46 pm - Best Male Video goes to Eminem for "Not Afraid." Eminem's not even there, anymore. What a ripoff.
9.53 pm - Hey, Florence and the Machine! Something I'm actually excited about! I like most of this record and everything even though Eat, Pray, Love tried to destroy "Dog Days." Well, I was sort of hoping this would be a band performance and not Florence and the cast of Hair but this is the VMAs.
Okay, it's 10... time for Hour I to hit the presses. See you again when it's all over. Hey lookit! N.E.R.D.!
Hour II
10.04 pm - Chelsea Handler is draining me of my will to live.
10.05 pm - Best Pop Video goes to Lady Gaga for "Bad Romance." Didn't I write that sentence earlier? She is presented her awards first by Ellen DeGeneres and then by Ellen DeGeneres' double Jane Lynch whom I lurv.
10.08 pm - Replaying the Kanye West incident before Taylor Swift sings some lame song where the first line is "I guess you really did it this time" is just the worst. In the intro they made it sound like this solemn song was written in response to West's interruption as if a) the VMAs are really that important and b) that incident didn't garner her positive press that probably netted her millions of bucks. I'm going to go vomit now. If this song really is about Kanye I'm going to throw up twice.
10.25 pm - I can't see Drake without thinking Degrassi. Sorry, dude.
10.32 pm - The VMA's have a lot of commercials. That is probably the most exciting observation I've made all night.
10.36 pm - Best Hip Hop video goes to Eminem. Zzzzzzz...
10.36 pm - JWoww was looking so demure earlier. But now, in the hot tub... I don't want to make flotation device jokes but her implants are highly ridiculous.
10.46 pm - Someone with attractive orange hair is warbling on the VMAs but I'm being distracted by angry Chelsea Handler fans who are telling me to -insert swear word here- off on Twitter.
10.48 pm - Thank you, Yael. The orange haired girl is the singer from Paramore.
10.55 pm - Justin Bieber just won something. Should I care what?
10.56 pm - Linkin Park is attempting a comeback. They really were gone. Right? Oh my God they're at the Griffith Park Observatory!! They're desecrating sacred ground! Case of the vapors, I has them.
11.06 pm - Viva Cher! She doesn't need to turn back time because that bananas outfit still fits!!
11.07 pm - Lady Gaga wins Video of the Year. Who's not happy for Lady Gaga? No one. Her next album will be titled Born This Way. She cries and everything.
11.09 pm - Here comes Kanye. Kanye vs Swift. West, FTW.
And goodnight, good people.
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