Triumph Visits David Blaine

I don't really understand why David Blaine wants to hang upside down but, err, more power to him, I guess.

Suede on Suede

"It's fun, it's not meant to be taken so seriously, it's cheeky, and let's face it, we're living in a world right now where the economy has gone into hell in a hand basket, our environment is in a lot of trouble, and the world is just not a great place, we're still at war. If I can throw some humor out of speaking in third person, it's really not that serious, and I think we have a lot bigger issues in this world to worry about than what tense I'm speaking in." — Project Runway's Suede

I knew this would happen. I bitched and moaned about Suede talking about Suede and now I'm all like "I heart Suede." He seems so harmless and sweet in the face of Kenley's evil laughter.

I'm home. It's so great to sit in my house and not have to drive anywhere except to the vet. repeatedly. because like a fool I went out and got a puppy yesterday. But look! Totally worth it, right?

Now I have to catch up on Heroes, politics and Gossip Girl...

More on my trip later. Exciting stories to share about jerks on planes and flying with the University of Denver Golf team.

So very tired,
M. P

Yes, I'm Still Alive - California Dreaming Edition

But I have to go, actually. I have a date with the Beverly Center.

California is full of busyness. How come vacations are the most stressful things we do?

I did buy this painting yesterday by my friend Jane Gotts. She's pretty spectacular. She used to be one of the supervising animator types at Dreamworks and is now a full time artist. In addition to the Squirrel Nutkin, I finally received my wedding gift, the Fishman. I've been waiting to get him for a while as I've been admiring him for years.

I also went to Forest Lawn. One of my favorite places on earth.

What else... I've been eating LOTS of cupcakes. And feathering my hair.

Oh yeah, those My Morning Jacket shows have been purty good. I thought they were in fine form on The Tonight Show, as well. You missed seeing Charlize Theron pick up Jim's cape and shake it out for him (after she accidentally stepped on it). Such a thoughtful young lady.

Bringing back the 70s,
M. P

America's Next Top Model Followed By Project Runway

Was not a good idea tonight.

My head hurts.

Were those not the worst makeovers ever on America's Next Top Model? Poor McKay! Or McKey! Or whatever her name is... I wonder if they'll let her be Britney again now that the other Britneys are gone. Or is it Brittany?

As for Project Runway...

Kenley IS GETTING ON MY LAST NERVE. No wonder she's had a lot of jobs. She's nutso! I love how many people Google "Kenley Collins is a bitch" and hit my blog. Seriously. It happens at least once a week and three times tonight. And Cynthia Rowley is on crack for liking that stupid beige belt. There, I said it!

I wonder if Joe's going to get cut because he's being all hetero and missing his kids and stuff and his misshapen suit looks like something you'd find at Wal-Mart.

This is what I got my power back for?!! Really. Korto and Leanne aren't worth discussing. Suede's dress wasn't bad, but no photographer could ever shoot in that thing.

Thank God Jerrell won (pictured above) if only because that meant Kenley didn't.

It's auf wiedersehen Joe (boy, did I call that one) as Suede is spared and no one's crying for the straight man.

I'm off to California tomorrow! Berkeley! LA! Beck! MGMT! Hollywood Bowl! MMJ at The Greek! San Diego! Camarillo! Real Food Daily! House of Vege! Cupcakes! Okay, I'll stop now!

Me Go Sleep Now,
M. P

How To Be A Van Palin

My cool pal Anna (aka Revolver) sent this to me.

The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator

What's your Palin name?

Enjoy,
Halter Grasshopper Van Palin Park

The Panera Monologues

Day 2 of Panera blogging. Day 3 of no power.

Tom and I drove through the Highlands today. My old street, Broadmeade in Seneca Gardens, looked like a disaster area.

So sad to see so many giant old trees felled. The damage was way worse in the Highlands than Crestwood which makes me wonder if God weren't tryin' to tell them liberals somethin' or other!

I'm at Oxmoor today instead of Springhurst as wandering around with the tassel loafered denizens of the East End was getting a bit too depressing. All those lost souls in their pleated pants wondering where the hell to go. I don't know, either, dude. Maybe over to Dick's where they're all sold out of lanterns but you can get a nice light for the stern of your boat if you need it. They've got a few of those left.

We wander through the house at night with our headlamps on looking like members of Orbital as we feed the animals and complete our chores.

I've never wanted to get back to California so badly! On Friday morning I'll be at a swanky spa in Berkeley getting a massage courtesy of T's sister. On Sunday night I'll be watching MMJ grace the same stage as JOURNEY, PEOPLE! as they play the Greek Theatre in LA. Good times with power ahead.

Okay, I realize I've been a bit grim and wordy so here's some funny cat video to end this post...



Toodles,
M. P

What-whoa She's A Refugee

Yes, like a Yuppie refugee I sit here at Panera blogging away because I haven't had power at home since yesterday afternoon and apparently I won't anytime soon.

Farewell $100 worth of groceries and the homemade soup I just made.

Tom and I have been toodling around Springhurst and the Summit all day looking for food and a power outlet.

We also went to see Tropic Thunder which didn't seem that great, but that's probably because the psycho in front of me tried to get me kicked out. I swear I attract these people. I don't know how. Or why. Just ask my friends. I'm a freak magnet. If there's a screaming baby in a restaurant or people talking throughout a movie you can bet I'm somewhere near.

For reals.

Hope you all find some electric relief soon.
M. P

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin on SNL

You knew it had to happen...

In case you missed it.

The Greatest Song I Have Ever Heard

This almost makes me want to be a Christian.

In the Land of Women, Project Runway and ANTM

I'm sitting here watching In the Land of Women.

I can't figure out why.

Did anyone else see this? Were you baffled, too? It's like watching a bunch of strange looking strangely behaving thin people dance around Adam Brody.

Bizarre.

Also, I caught up on Project Runway and America's Next Top Model tonight. Neither were particularly baffling but they were equally annoying.

How Kenley survived after being a) a major biyaatch and b) designing that monstrosity (pictured), I do not know. Oh wait, I do know... it's because Blayne's pooping fabric and Terri's cheap ass lion dress were ten times worse!!

As for ANTM, Sheena the asian girl and her fake boobs are still bumming me out.

Meg Ryan, where did ye go,
MP

ps. for more Project Runway, see Bravo TV.com

John McCain at the RNC

Totally worth a watch...

Triumph at the RNC

As with most things, I'm a bit late to the game on this, but goodness. I lol'ed.

Good to see that Robert Smigel hasn't lost his bite.

Part 1


Part 2


You must laugh else you'll cry, methinks.

MTV Video Music Awards - Too Tired to Really Care

Red carpet notes... T-Pain is on an elephant. Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry (who forgot to get dressed, apparently) are here together to dispel rumors of their big feud (who cares?). Michael Phelps is with Kid Rock. Ashlee Simpson is pregnant. Paris Hilton is lame.

Speaking of boring, that is one thing Russell Brand is NOT. After imploring America to vote for Barack Obama and turning politics into a riff on The Jonas Bros' virginity ("Eight years of Bush is what the Jonas Bros are going to have to cram into their bachelor party." EEP!), I find myself amazed MTV let him say half the things he did. I wonder if they'll ever have him back. I wonder how many angry parents are calling MTV right now.

I am rather fond of Mr. Brand, though. He's mad.

I think the rest of this show is going to pretty much suck (the Britney Spears intro was such a lot of fuss for a whole lot of nothing) so I'm not going to bore you or me with a novel about it. Oh, and Brit Brit won something. She thanked God. W00t.

I leave you with RB and BS doing a couple VMA promos (if you haven' seen them a million times already). The subtitles are entertaining.



PS. Jordin Sparks just said, "It's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?" Does that make people who don't wear them sluts?! Guilty as charged, JS! Or can I not be a slut since I'm married? Hrm.

PPS. Was Christopher Mintz-Plasse really wasted or did Slipknot just make him that way?

PPPS. Why is there so much godawful freaking music out there?!! I feel like my soul has just been eaten.

Sunday Signage

Nice one... but not as good as "I kissed a girl, and I liked it, then I went to Hell."

The pastor, David Allison, "thought the message would be a loving way to remind teenagers that the Bible denounces homosexuality."

Errr... sure thing, dude.

You Pinheads!

grrrrrr...

America's Next Top Model - And So It Begins...

Oh lordy, Cycle 11 of America's Next Top Model hath begun. Please let this season be better because Cycle 10 really blew (although I was pleased about them choosing a plus size model, I wasn't wild about the bitchalicious Whitney. OMG that was so Blayne!).

How hilariously fitting that one of the first contestants they feature is Hannah from Alaska and she talks about life at home where "we don't have highways and we don't have people." Scant hours before Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin is set to speak at the Republican National Convention, this is informative for those who don't know much about the 49th state.

I'm already bummed about Sheena, who one contestant said has a big advantage because she's "the only Oriental girl here." Sigh. Sheena says she is "dynamic" and "magnifying." Try "annoying." I do like her teal shirt, though. That color doesn't look good on me. Why does it look good on her?!

What is up with Jay Manuel's hair??!! And those man boobs! As for Miss J, I am so missing her/his giant fro right about now. Tyra's dressed up as a martian and looks suitably terrifying.

I am tempted to root for Elina the vegan at this point, but I can't tell if that's a leather jacket she's wearing. Also, fur is so in right now it makes me wonder if we're headed for some challenge that she refuses to do on principle. Oh wait, she's a "very sexual" vegan. Well, that changes everything.

Analeigh seems ok. Or she did until she started rambling about nearly getting sold into prostitution with a Saudi prince.

Clark "with no E" puts Jay Manuel (and me) to sleep. Ooh, Marjorie the high strung French girl from Marseilles is purty cute.

Isis, the transgender, is pre-op, but has no visible package in her bikini. Interesting (apparently tape is her secret). She comes out and the girls look... surprised and an annoying gossip fest ensues. Sheena's down with her, yo, which makes me want to re-evaluate her until she says, "I got so much flava."

Hannah re-enacts being chased by a moose. Tyra is the moose. This is freakin' weird.

Kacey talks too much and is a mean girl. Brittany is a cage fighter. Susan went to Harvard and majored in English and American Literature but doesn't know who Rebecca is.

Phase II begins and a bunch of girls they barely featured get cut like Renee who can't stop crying.

It's photo shoot time, and I'm officially watching ANTM instead of watching Sarah Palin. Oh dear. Thank G for DVRs.

It's time for the final 14 of Cycle 11 and Brittany B and her lucky underwear make it through along with Isis, Hannah Alaska, Sheena, Elina, Clark and, err, some others.

Kacey didn't make it. Karma's a bitch and so are you, honey!

Sheena says, "I'm gonna show you America, you ain't ready for this yellow fever!!! One time for the Asians!!!" Why, S, why?!! She's half-Korean, too. I swear, she does not represent. At least she's open minded. I'll give her that. I'm tryin' here.

I hate these two hour eps. They always turn into novel posts. Apologies, fair readers.

Watching the girls drive through LA is making me ex-homesick, but I don't know how they found a day with a sky that blue? They must have digitally removed the smog.

Did Jay just say, "We have 14 lucky bitches here in LA"????

The girls have moved into.. Is that the Rock of Love season 1 house??!! The Bachelorette, maybe? That house looks really familiar for some reason. I watch too much reality TV. Crikey, I used to have a massive ban on this stuff and now i'm like a crackhead. How depressing.

Isis is divisive. McKey (formerly Brittany S. Or maybe M) is totally cool, but the small town girls are freaking out. Maybe this will turn out like Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days, and the gals will have a change of heart. Or not.

Holy cow, they're going to the Magic Castle! I love the Magic Castle. I've been a few times with a magician pal of mine. Ohh, I miss that place.

Nigel Barker and Paulina Porizkova pop out of a box and interview the girls.

Sharaun (who used to be Brittany with her lucky underwear) mocks world peace and turns Nigel and probably the rest of America off.

Samantha actually seems kind of sweet. A perky blonde that doesn't make me gag. There are a few (see: Heidi and Cat from So You Think You Can Dance).

The first photo shoot has the models sexing up the issues in an effort to get out the vote. We're treated to immigration, the military (the war in Iraq = a hot pink dress, apparently), bureaucracy (Clark has no idea what it is but apparently seems to think it involves squatting like she's going to the bathroom), the environment, foreign policy, privacy, cloning, unemployment, education, the economy, homeland security, healthcare and hoochie care of Sheena. Hilarious. Bringing sexy back with unemployment... Aww... yeah...

It's judging time and Miss J tells Sharaun, "You love to spread your legs."

Tyra shows Clark how to make bureaucracy sexy. Sometimes I really wonder if this is real and not some weird dream I'm having.

Nakesha's got some attitude. The Brittany who remains Brittany reminds me of Jaslene a little and Tyra tells her that her brother in the Air Force will think her photo is "dope."

The judges deliberate, and they don't like Clark (and neither do I). Please let her be the first to go, please let her be the first to go... crud.

The luck in Sharaun/Brittany's underwear finally ran out. Clark's smiling. What a cow.

I will say I already like this season better than last. Uh oh, looks like next week Hannah gets outed as a racist and someone goes bi bi!

W00t!
Ms. P

See the contestants (including Marjorie, above) here.

John Bless America - A Night at the RNC

Okay, first off, what is up with all the man tans? Joe Lieberman and Fred Thompson look like contestants on Dancing with the Stars.

Speaking of Fred Thompson, I love how he said, "God Bless John McCain and John Bless America." I guess that gives new meaning to the phrase "WWJD."

NBC has a mic in the crowd near one guy who keeps screaming like he's having an O. NOT PLEASANT!

I swear you can see the crazy in Laura Bush's eyes. I almost feel sorry for the Stepfirst Lady.

It's almost hilarious to watch the Repubs try to get behind Sarah Palin, a Governor they'd probably barely heard of before this week. Certainly the same goes for McCain who'd met her, what, once or twice before giving her the gig.

And speaking of Sarah Palin, there's this.

I almost curse Diablo Cody for Juno these days.

Random and discombobulated,
Ms. P

ps. Chris Matthews Hair Update - totally plastered to his forehead in the Minnesota night. Totally Schroeder. Totally AWESOME.

Chad Michael Murray Meet My Morning Jacket

One Tree Hill's season premiere, entitled "Touch Me I'm Going to Scream, Part 1" after the MMJ song, was on tonight so I had to watch.

Do any of you follow this show (I do not)? Is it as twilight zone as it seems or is it just me?

What is up with the torture and violence?! This is fairly gruesome for the ol' CW. Why is that woman putting a burning fork in that guy's hand?! Why? Why? I really want to know!

I love seeing Daphne Zuniga, though. Melrose Place, y'all!

This has got to be the funniest use of "Highly Suspicious" I'll ever hear. I can't tell if it's incongruous with the two scenes or incongruous because I never imagined seeing it on... One Tree Hill. Hopefully America will fall in love with it now because they TOTALLY SHOULD.

Poor Sophia Bush is all I have to say.

If you missed it you can watch again on Sunday. Tee hee. In the meantime, please enjoy this footage of MMJ doing "HS" at the Zero Fest in Mexico City.

I'm super glad Gossip Girl started. It's like an old friend coming back to hang... in the Hamptons... in ridiculously expensive clothes. Serena and Dan are back together! Woo hoo! But my heart belongs to Chuck Bass, fo sho'.

Who can't wait for 90210 tomorrow? Come on, I know you can't! And America's Next Top Model on Wednesday? My cup o' trash floweth over and over. What a splendid week to be alive.

XOXO,
Ms. P