Oh lordy, Cycle 11 of America's Next Top Model hath begun. Please let this season be better because Cycle 10 really blew (although I was pleased about them choosing a plus size model, I wasn't wild about the bitchalicious Whitney. OMG that was so Blayne!).How hilariously fitting that one of the first contestants they feature is Hannah from Alaska and she talks about life at home where "we don't have highways and we don't have people." Scant hours before Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin is set to speak at the Republican National Convention, this is informative for those who don't know much about the 49th state.
I'm already bummed about Sheena, who one contestant said has a big advantage because she's "the only Oriental girl here." Sigh. Sheena says she is "dynamic" and "magnifying." Try "annoying." I do like her teal shirt, though. That color doesn't look good on me. Why does it look good on her?!
What is up with Jay Manuel's hair??!! And those man boobs! As for Miss J, I am so missing her/his giant fro right about now. Tyra's dressed up as a martian and looks suitably terrifying.
I am tempted to root for Elina the vegan at this point, but I can't tell if that's a leather jacket she's wearing. Also, fur is so in right now it makes me wonder if we're headed for some challenge that she refuses to do on principle. Oh wait, she's a "very sexual" vegan. Well, that changes everything.
Analeigh seems ok. Or she did until she started rambling about nearly getting sold into prostitution with a Saudi prince.
Clark "with no E" puts Jay Manuel (and me) to sleep. Ooh, Marjorie the high strung French girl from Marseilles is purty cute.
Isis, the transgender, is pre-op, but has no visible package in her bikini. Interesting (apparently tape is her secret). She comes out and the girls look... surprised and an annoying gossip fest ensues. Sheena's down with her, yo, which makes me want to re-evaluate her until she says, "I got so much flava."
Hannah re-enacts being chased by a moose. Tyra is the moose. This is freakin' weird.
Kacey talks too much and is a mean girl. Brittany is a cage fighter. Susan went to Harvard and majored in English and American Literature but doesn't know who Rebecca is.
Phase II begins and a bunch of girls they barely featured get cut like Renee who can't stop crying.
It's photo shoot time, and I'm officially watching ANTM instead of watching Sarah Palin. Oh dear. Thank G for DVRs.
It's time for the final 14 of Cycle 11 and Brittany B and her lucky underwear make it through along with Isis, Hannah Alaska, Sheena, Elina, Clark and, err, some others.
Kacey didn't make it. Karma's a bitch and so are you, honey!
Sheena says, "I'm gonna show you America, you ain't ready for this yellow fever!!! One time for the Asians!!!" Why, S, why?!! She's half-Korean, too. I swear, she does not represent. At least she's open minded. I'll give her that. I'm tryin' here.
I hate these two hour eps. They always turn into novel posts. Apologies, fair readers.
Watching the girls drive through LA is making me ex-homesick, but I don't know how they found a day with a sky that blue? They must have digitally removed the smog.
Did Jay just say, "We have 14 lucky bitches here in LA"????
The girls have moved into.. Is that the Rock of Love season 1 house??!! The Bachelorette, maybe? That house looks really familiar for some reason. I watch too much reality TV. Crikey, I used to have a massive ban on this stuff and now i'm like a crackhead. How depressing.
Isis is divisive. McKey (formerly Brittany S. Or maybe M) is totally cool, but the small town girls are freaking out. Maybe this will turn out like Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days, and the gals will have a change of heart. Or not.
Holy cow, they're going to the Magic Castle! I love the Magic Castle. I've been a few times with a magician pal of mine. Ohh, I miss that place.
Nigel Barker and Paulina Porizkova pop out of a box and interview the girls.
Sharaun (who used to be Brittany with her lucky underwear) mocks world peace and turns Nigel and probably the rest of America off.
Samantha actually seems kind of sweet. A perky blonde that doesn't make me gag. There are a few (see: Heidi and Cat from So You Think You Can Dance).
The first photo shoot has the models sexing up the issues in an effort to get out the vote. We're treated to immigration, the military (the war in Iraq = a hot pink dress, apparently), bureaucracy (Clark has no idea what it is but apparently seems to think it involves squatting like she's going to the bathroom), the environment, foreign policy, privacy, cloning, unemployment, education, the economy, homeland security, healthcare and hoochie care of Sheena. Hilarious. Bringing sexy back with unemployment... Aww... yeah...
It's judging time and Miss J tells Sharaun, "You love to spread your legs."
Tyra shows Clark how to make bureaucracy sexy. Sometimes I really wonder if this is real and not some weird dream I'm having.
Nakesha's got some attitude. The Brittany who remains Brittany reminds me of Jaslene a little and Tyra tells her that her brother in the Air Force will think her photo is "dope."
The judges deliberate, and they don't like Clark (and neither do I). Please let her be the first to go, please let her be the first to go... crud.
The luck in Sharaun/Brittany's underwear finally ran out. Clark's smiling. What a cow.
I will say I already like this season better than last. Uh oh, looks like next week Hannah gets outed as a racist and someone goes bi bi!
W00t!
Ms. P
See the contestants (including Marjorie, above) here.
Yay. So glad you watched all the way through. I stopped to switch over to PR, which was completely underwhelming and boring this week.
ReplyDeleteI didn't record anything else because I'm about to leave for vacation and I'm out of time for TV. So I'll be back to your blog to catch up on all the crap (and good stuff) I'll be missing. :)