It's finally here, ladies and gentlemen. The season finale to the best show ever to grace TV, NYC Prep. The drama is realer than real, the hair flips have taken on mythic proportions, the forged relationships not faked at all.
Last week Taylor and PC started hanging out, there was some Cole craziness and PC said mean things and wore eyeliner and the producers walked away happy that even though the lines they'd given this merry band of teens were delivered in stilted fits and stops, suckers like me were still queueing up to watch the magic happen!
Already the newly formed friendship between the prince of the Upper East Side and his little misfit, the West Side social climber of Stuyvesant High, is on the rocks. PC returns to his BFF Jessie who invites him to a fashion shoot for her upcoming Operation Smile soiree. Jessie's modeling for a promotional piece for the OS benefit gift bag. PC undermines her as she strikes a pose with a male model. Zzzz... PC is a brat, we get it. What I don't get it is why she has twigs sticking out of her head and crazily tragic eye makeup.
Sebastian, who looks like a member of Menudo more than anything else, sweeps his hair to the side and tells Kelli about his plans to build wells in Africa... or something like that. He's having a benefit and wants K to sing... or something like that. I don't think anyone ever really comprehends what Sebastian is saying. I think he's supposed to be too cute to understand, maybe. Of course Seb only cares about poor people because chicks dig it. I always say that I don't care why well known people get involved in charity because if it benefits even one person, it's worthwhile. However, this is really pushing it. Kelli performs, and well... let's just say she sings better than I do.
PC has a dinner party to celebrate graduation, but Jessie shows up and acts like Bitchy McBitcherson. She and Kat stage a little snapping girlfight that ends with Jessie stomping off but not before we get an eyeful of her mesh bustier and hideous tube skirt. I'm pretty sure she can afford a better outfit than that. The next day she and PC have a candid heart to heart and I want to care about what they're saying but Jessie's early 80s black eyeliner is too distracting.
It's funny... it's easy to hate Jessie. It's obvious. She's snotty and pretentious and shrill. However, the real villain is Camille. The Tracy Flick in training future Harvard student (or so she hopes) loves to deliver insults with a smile so sweet you think maybe she's being nice, but no... she hasn't quite developed the skills to fully mask the glee she feels when delivering verbal blows. Watch out for this future barracuda. It's hard to witness the two of them fighting to be crowned Queen of Mean. Life is so much more than social posturing, girls!!
Oooh, it's the moment we've all been waiting for! Jessie's Operation Smile fashion show has been a running story throughout the season. She heads up one of the committees and were it not for Bravo I doubt she'd be standing there posing with Ted Gibson and Carmen Marc Valvo. Camille's worked herself up into a real snit over being excluded by J and takes her complaints to the Director of Development and Development Manager of the organization. She rats Jessie out and it's classless and crazy and for our benefit only. PC apologizes to CMV for bringing too many people to his after party. This is ridic. Seriously? Carmen Marc Valvo cares what's going on with his spoiled high school intern and her silly best friend?
So... it should be awesome when Jessie stumbles down the stairs and everyone laughs, but it's not. Nothing about NYC Prep is amusing anymore. I never thought I'd miss Gossip Girl so much! Watching these kids play dress up and run towards adulthood while spewing self-involved platitudes like Sebastian's, "This year's been a lot about quantity. Next year I'm gonna try for quantity. Just settle down. A smaller number of girls but like really really hot ones." Actually, that's kind of funny.
However, they're killing me with the faux sentimentality as the cast reflects on their time on the show and plans for the future as if anyone really cares. I wish them well on their journeys... and hope I never see them again.
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