Rock of Love Bus Kicks Off In Louisville, Y'all!!

Meet Nikki. She raps and, uh, stuff. I think she might have herpes since her lyrics are written on the back of a Herpes information sheet. I almost feel like I do just from looking at her.

Quote of the show so far: "I'm a very spiritual person. I'm deep as well."

I think the only new show that's surviving past today on the LP schedule is Confessions of a Teen Idol. Christopher Atkins has me hooked, what can I say?

Mediocre dancers from Russia and strippers from Planet Slut can only hold my attention for so long, I'm afraid.

I heard Bret say that if he doesn't find love this time around he's giving up. Does that mean Don Dokken will be taking over season 4? In my dreams, right? Haw haw. Actually, if C.C. DeVille did it, the show might actually be kind of amusing instead of simply pathetic and disgusting.

Tom is looking for a contestant who's not totally skanky. I think he's out of luck, poor thing.

(photo from VH1.com)