The LP Questionnaire - Jonah Ray

Here are the things Jonah Ray told me about himself:

Most of his life is up on the internet.
He was born in Hawaii, came to LA to do comedy but just ended up drinking in San Pedro for a year before doing anything.
He got a job as a PA on the second season of The Andy Milonakis Show before being fired and then immediately rehired as a writer. He "f***ed up-wards."
He used to roadie for some bands like Dios Malos and Giant Drag.
He's on G4 TV a lot.
He did a small tour with Sean O'Conner in the fall called "STILL BORN in the USA".
He HATES writing about himself.

And here is how Jonah answered The LP Questionnaire...

Name: Jonah Ray
Pro Wrestling Name: Bulldog Bear, which makes sense because I shit and sleep all the time.

1. Pretend you're 15 (and tell us what year it is, if you don't mind). Name three songs you'd put on a mix tape for your girlfriend/boyfriend. When i was 15 the year was 1997 and I was probably about 300 lbs. and not really making mix tapes for ANYBODY but myself...and Abbie, the girl I had a crush on. Too bad it was her chubby friend that liked me... I wasn't having that...too much flesh.

Three songs I was probably putting on every mix tape were "Peter Brady" by Screeching Weasel, "Start Today" by Gorilla Biscuits, and the cover of Elvis Costello's "Hand in Hand" by Scared of Chaka. All I listened to was pop punk and hardcore.

2. Which evil villain would make the best president? I think the best evil villain that would make a good president is George W. Bush. BASS! POLITICAL JAB!!!

3. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? My favorite cartoon as a kid was Muppet Babies. I couldn't handle the risque humour of the grown up Muppets...just the baby versions. Didnt you ever see the prequel to Cool World? So much easier to swallow.

4. What superpower do you wish you had? I wish I could walk on water, but I'd only wanna do that when the water was SO cold it had frozen over or something crazy like that. But at the rate things are going, I doubt I'll ever be able to realize this "superpower"....thanks a lot GEORGE W BOOSH! BOOM!!! BAM!!!! yet another slam on the U, S of A!

5. What would the title of your autobiography be? What if I Tried? A Story of an Unknown Comedian