Fall TV Guide - Thursday

I'm not sure which is funnier (in that sad sort of way): Courtney Love launching a perfume or Paris Hilton giving her clothes away to orphanages because, "I have, like, a million clothes and more than 500 pairs of shoes. I never wear something twice." I'm sure the orphans of America are thrilled that they'll now be able to dress like sluts. My hope is that these organizations can auction off the clothes (for a fool and his money are always ready to part!) and use the dough for food and some non-streetwalker garments.

Back to the world of television, is there anything more poisonous to a sitcom (besides not being funny) than the tinny, so obviously fake, cringeworthy laugh track? Back to You has some promise but eesh. I hate being told where the joke is in such a superficial manner.

On to Thursday...

ABC
8.00 Ugly Betty (Sep 27). Entertainment Weekly's Fall TV coverage gave away so much about the upcoming season of UB that I'm sitting here slightly exasperated. Being such a nice gal, I won't do that to you. Tune in and find out how Betty and the gang turn the tragedy of last season into the comedy of tomorrow.

9.00 Grey's Anatomy (Sep 27). One of my girl crushes, Chyler Leigh, joins the cast this year, Eric Dane is sort of hotter than I remember, as is Patrick Dempsey, and I love Sandra Oh (Koreans represent!) but there's just something that keeps me from enjoying this show... Oh yeah. Its star, Ellen Pompeo. Who knew the cool girl from Old School would turn into such a chafe and make one of TV's biggest hits unwatchable for me? Drat.

10.00 Big Shots (Sep 27). Sex and the City for men. Four dudes handle relationships, work, and their golf game. Sound completely unappealing? To me, too. Then I found out it stars Michael Vartan and Joshua Malina and that Rob Thomas (Veronica Mars) signed on as a consulting producer. Now I'm torn. I'll watch the pilot and let you know.

CBS
8.00 Survivor: China (Sep 20). Sixteen contestants and only one of them is Chinese? I don't get it.

9.00 CSI (Sep 27). I'm a fan of Marg Helgenberger and I'm a fan of crime procedurals, but for some reason, CSI never captured my attention. I'm in the minority, though, as isn't this show number one all the time?

10.00 Without a Trace (Sep 27). I still haven't forgiven Anthony LaPaglia for Empire Records.

NBC
8.00 My Name Is Earl (Sep 27). Maybe if Jason Lee shaved that mustache.

8.30 30 Rock (Oct 4). I think we've established that I love all things 30 Rock. I'm even watching season one while I'm on the treadmill. It's a bit difficult to guffaw whilst running but I manage.

9.00 The Office (Sep 27). I feel I really ought to love this show and there's a good chance I'll watch it in three years and loudly proclaim, "Oh my God, this is genius! Why did I wait so long to see it?!" In the meantime, I have all the Ricky Gervais seasons on DVD.

9.30 Scrubs (Oct 25). It's a damn shame that Zach Braff had to go and make Garden State thus rendering him unwatchable for the rest of his career because I am quite fond of John C. McGinley. This is the final season of a show I once chuckled at.

10.00 ER (Sep 27). You have to respect a program that's endured as long as ER. Sadly, respect doesn't mean tune in.

FOX
8.00 Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (Sep 6). I'd like to think so... but what if I'm not? Do I need to hear this news from Jeff Foxworthy?! I don't think so!

9.00 Don't Forget the Lyrics! (Sep 6). But I've already forgotten the show!

The CW
8.00 Smallville (Sep 27). Supergirl arrives and Clark helps her get acclimated to life on Earth by having her audition for America's Next Top Model. No? Hrm. It sounded plausible to me.

9.00 Supernatural (Oct 4). My trusted friend Sandy gave me season one for my birthday last June. I confess I haven't watched it yet but now may be the time as apparently this year promises lots of sex and cheeseburgers.

Only one more day of Fall TV guidance. Hope you've been enjoying it so far and are now contemplating joining me in spirit for my time with Tyra, Tina and the Hughs (Laurie and Jackman).

Off to 21c in a bit for Gary Baseman's lecture,
Ms. P

ps. Here's my favorite story of the day courtesy of Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish.