Live Blogging The Emmys - Baby We Were Born To Run

And without further ado...

Hour I

8.07 pm - I never thought I'd be saying this but host Jimmy Fallon's Glee number was one of the best awards show openers I've seen in ages. I'm still having trouble getting on board with Mad Men but Jon Hamm's awesome sauciness cannot be denied and seeing him get dance instruction by Betty White = phwoar!

8.10 pm - Oh... a montage. Already? The Year in Comedy... was funnier than this montage would lead you to believe.

8.12 pm - Eric Stonestreet wins the first award of the evening, Outstanding Performance by a Supporting Actor in a Comedy. I can't tell if Jesse Tyler Ferguson is crying because he's happy for his on-screen husband or sad because he lost. I'll be gracious and say I'm sure it must be the former. Tom and I do love the Modern Family.

8.18 pm - John Hodgeman's color commentary is sly, delish and full of dish.

8.20 pm - Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd take Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series for Modern Family. Are we in for a sweep?

8.23 pm - Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series goes to Jane Lynch for Glee. She doesn't look overly surprised and gives what will probably be one of the best acceptance speeches of the eve. She also looks divine in her eggplant taffeta. I will avoid making any obvious track suit jokes.

8.31 pm - Ryan Murphy wins Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series for Glee. So, do any shows exist tonight besides Modern Family and Glee? I'm starting to doubt it. They might just give the drama awards to them, as well.

8.37 pm - The cast of Modern Family shows us that they have several excellent possible future plotlines, all of which include George Clooney.

8.38 pm - Jim Parsons wins Lead Actor in a Comedy Series for The Big Bang, a show I never watch. This would happen right after I say Glee and Modern Family are going to win everything.

8.44 pm - Lead Actress in a Comedy Series goes to Edie Falco for Nurse Jackie. The other nominees all have happy face on while Falco looks shocked. There are a lot of orange ladies at the Emmys tonight.

8.47 pm - Umm, did Kim Kardashian just sing for a few seconds? And cue montage... for The Year in Reality. This doesn't look like reality to me, you guys. Reality does not involve Bret Michaels, Pamela Anderson and Simon Cowell. Or, mine doesn't, anyway.

8.50 pm - The Emmy goes to Top Chef for Outstanding Reality-Competition Program. They're the first people to get played off after droning on about husbands, wives and girlfriends or something.

8.57 pm - Hey, they haven't had a montage in ten minutes... I think it's time for The Year in Drama!! McDreamy got shot this year?!!! OMG! Should I care? I don't care.

Hour II

9.02 pm - Hour II kicks off with Mad Men winning Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series. Whoever this young woman is with Matthew Weiner, she's toast. Does anyone remember Kater Gordon, who won last year... and mysteriously left the show right after? Yeah... or was that only mysterious to me?

9.04 pm - I have no idea who Aaron Paul is but apparently he's in Breaking Bad. And he just won Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama. My boss at SXSW loves that show, but I already spend too much time watching TV. There's no room in the sched for meth dealers in New Mexico.

9.10 pm - Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series has so many excellent nominees but I am psyched, I tell you, that Archie Panjabi takes it for The Good Wife, my favorite new show. If you're not watching, you should be. It has so many I'm rewinding to hear those lines again moments, and Panjabi as Kalinda Sharma is one of the two best characters on the show. (Alan Cumming as Eli Gold is the other.)

9.13 pm - Lead Actor in a Drama goes to Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad, that show I just told you I don't have time to watch. Hugh Laurie's pretending (though not very well) to look touched when Cranston says, "You were robbed" to his fellow nominees.

9.20 pm - Man, I can't wait to watch True Blood when this is over.

9.23 pm - Steve Shill, who's English and comes from the Lake District, wins Outstanding Direction for a Drama Series for Dexter.

9.25 pm - Jimmy Fallon is killing it as host. I was fully prepared for this to be disasterland. His farewell ditty to Law & Order is bittersweet, though, as I'm still full of angry that it's gone before what would have been its historic 21st season.

9.32 pm - I bet Julianna Margulies wins and holy crap she doesn't as Kyra Sedgwick (wut?) wins for The Closer. Oh God, she just said, "My cast." We all know how much I hate that, right? Hearing "my" anyone unless it's your mother, father, husband, or kids should be verboten at these things.

9.35 pm - Fallon and Stephen Colbert are exchanging some patter that Conan O'Brien does not seem to find amusing as he looks on without laughter. They're singing an intro to, you guessed it, a montage! The Year in Variety includes loads of Jay Leno jokes and some Olympic torch lighting. And by Jay Leno jokes I mean jokes at Jay Leno's expense.

9.40 pm - The Tonys win something. I don't know what exactly but they beat The Kennedy Center Honors. Oh, it's Outstanding Variety Program. Well, that makes, err, sense.

9.41 pm - Oh man, the "They Died" montage is coming up. Where's my tissues?

9.49 pm - Could I love Ricky Gervais any more? I'm not sure it's possible. He gives it to Mel Gibson and then he gives the Emmy for Directing a Variety, Music or Comedy Special to Bucky Gunts for The Olympics Opening Ceremony.

9.53 pm - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart wins Best Variety, Music or Comedy Shows. It's tough... I think I might like Colbert more even though he's never had My Morning Jacket on. That's the dream, people! Well, one of mine, anyway. I hope Stephen Colbert is reading this right now but I bet he isn't.

Hour III

10.00 pm - They make Julianna Margulies look so severe on The Good Wife, but she's a total babe. She's here to present the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award to George Clooney. GC gives an impressive, sobering speech about the need for keeping the spotlight on disasters in the world long after the cameras have gone.

10.05 pm - And thank goodness we can lift ourselves from that heaviness with... a montage! The Year in Miniseries and Movies features scenes from a lot of great television I never bothered to watch.

10.06 pm - Is January Jones' dress made of plastic? Versace's doing plastic... well, better than fur, right? Oh, Julia Ormond wins for Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie for Temple Grandin. She gets played off to utterances of "chick flicks with bulls balls." No, I am not making that up.

10.15 pm - I can't help but feel sort of sad whenever I see Claire Danes because Angela Chase is all grown up. Good to see that Latisse is working out for her. Those lashes are crazy. So is her Armani Privé dress. She hands over the Emmy for Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie to David Strathairn who rambles on about teachers.

10.18 pm - "I wrote this song for a friend of mine who passed away from cancer." - Jewel. And cue the "In Memoriam" montage. Ohh, Jimmy Dean. Man, Pernell Roberts was a hottie. The applause for Corey Haim is barely a smattering. And the winner for most popular passed away actor is... Dennis Hopper.

10.28 pm - I'm going to predict Claire Danes... and I'm right. She wins Outstanding Actress in a Miniseries/Movie for Temple Grandin. Can we get back to the interesting categories now?

10.36 pm - This is usually the part of the show where fatigue sets in but I'll admit it, Alexander Skarsgard in a tux just woke me up. A little. Temple Grandin wins something else. Direction? Yes. You go, Mick Jackson.

10.38 pm - Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries/Movies goes to Al Pacino for You Don't Know Jack, which also won the writing Emmy. Good lord, even Al got the spray tan. That so many celebrities are sporting Snookiskin has me shaking my head.

10.46 pm - Outstanding Miniseries is won by The Pacific which I find hilarious as there was only one other nominee.

10.48 pm - Made for TV Movie's big winner is Temple Grandin. I think Temple Grandin was the only film Emmy voters watched (which is not to say it wasn't excellent, of course). Moving along now...

10.51 pm - Weird, they're doing Outstanding Drama Series first? And they got Magnum PI to deliver the goods to Mad Men. You can feel the shock in Hollywood all the way in Kentucky. Yes, that was a joke.

10.57 pm - It's the end. And the end is a victorious Modern Family who take home the prize for Outstanding Comedy Series. Oh my, get a load of Manny and his fedora!

11.00 pm - Thanks for sticking with it. I'm off to bond with the vampires.