NYC Prep - It's Front Row Or Nothing

In case you missed it, because I know you're all watching this show it's really just the best thing ever and I don't know how the Gods of TV will ever surpass this gloriousness, last week teen dream Sebastian and future elephant trainer Taylor broke up and can't even be friends even though they were never really going out and it's all made up anyway.

This week finds Jessie grasping once again for fashion greatness with her new job at Charlotte Ronson. She calls her fellow applicants "pathetic" since they were seven years older than her and had the same amount of experience. I think she got the job because it would expose Charlotte Ronson to a bunch of rich New York teens... and lesser types who can buy her crappy diffusion line at JC Penney. (I had a gander the other day when I was at Mall St. Matthews and it's just as bad as it looked online. There's one wearable piece. The rest looks and feels le cheap. It is on sale these days, though. Oh, funniest part, a sales clerk was showing around a new employee and said, "This is Charlotte Robson. We've had this line for a few months.")

Anyway... for some reason unknown to anyone, PC (or PCP as I like to call Peter Carey Peterson) invites Taylor and a + 1 (she brings her old yet new again flame Cole, the only normal person on this show) to the Jill Stuart show during Fashion Week. PC and Taylor are pretending to find each other fascinating. Geez, what crazy scenario will these producers think of next?!

It's semi-hilarious, mostly cringeworthy, when PC tries to school Taylor on proper celebrity sighting etiquette. They arrive in a flurry of paparazzi to front row seats because, as PC sooo correctly says, "It's front row or nothing." Taylor bags on PC and his pretentious friend Kat for wearing their sunglasses indoors and it's true, they look like jerks even though I think she's wearing those Oliver Peoples sunglasses I totally love but won't buy because they look like crap on me.

Cue Taylor and Cole giving some snappy sartorial commentary along the lines of "I like purple" and "Purple is my school color." Those peasants from the Upper West Side sure are adorable!!

Oh look, here comes Sebastian!! I think he has a speech impediment or something... or he's drunk... because he's slurring his words when he tells us how he's going to try and have a go at Kelli now that Taylor rejected him. I kind of like Kelli as she announces she's not going to be Sebastian's backup. You go girl! People don't say that anymore, do they?

PC is still yammering on about being in the front row as we drift along to the Erin Fetherston show at Bryant Park. (Her diffusion line at Target was way better. I bought the bunny thermals because I luv bunnies.) Seb and Kelli only have fifth row. My God, they so don't rate! Anyway, who wants the dramz that would be a Kelli and PC meet up because we all know they totes hate each other.

My brain is oozing out of my head right now. Seriously. I always hear about how you have to suffer for your art. Now I understand, dear readers!!

PC tries to apologize to Kelli after the show and it's just words words bitching bitching, I sure don't think anyone's really making up here and does it matter because when this show is over these people will care even less about each other than we do.

OMG! Paris Hilton cameo!! We all know by now that she dropped out of the same prep school that PC and Jessie recently graduated from. It's called Dwight and apparently they'll let anyone in.

PC is not in the front row at Pamella Roland and he throws a really unappealing hissy fit, but everything he does is unappealing so this is okay. He is keeping in character. I bet the show runners are super proud of PC. He is their bright shining star as he calls Kat (or at least I think it's Kat, I can't tell without the sunglasses) the c-word and gives Jessie the finger. That's breeding there, boys and girls. That is the grandson of a billionaire.

We're 26 minutes in before we get our first glimpse of Camille. Who cares.

Now Jessie's working for Carmen Marc Valvo?!! How can this be? I have to admit I really like CMV even though he designs with fur and that makes me want to barf.

Are you still here? If so, thanks, because I barely am.

PC brings an entourage to the CMV after party. Jessie gets mad and tries to act like she's angry because it's tacky to bring uninvited guests to a soiree and she's worried about PC hanging out with dudes in their 20s when really she's worried that PC is actually gay and therefore not in love with her as she is in love with him. It's Shakespearean, this tragedy, and they whack us over the head with the PC On Fire theme every week to the point where now I'm actually beginning to think he's hetero.

I have started way too many sentences in this re-cap/liveblog/disaster with the letters PC.

I think they just showed Camille at some spa. Who cares.

Sebastian continues to be drunk or have marbles in his mouth or something. He's on a date with some girl who has perfect eyebrows. More words and most are unintelligible. They even give you subtitles but it still doesn't make any sense.

Taylor wanted to hug Paris Hilton when she saw her. Taylor the future philosopher just fell quite a bit in my estimation but she's 15 so whatevs. Actually, that makes it worse.

More Jessie ragging on PC with the "I love you please pay attention to me" subtext still going strong.

And mercifully it's over. Just like this post.