Project Runway - Episode 2

"Any decision that's not Suede going home is the right decision." - err, Suede.

The show opens with Suede talking about himself in the third person and Stella drinking grass.

I just noticed that Suede has a blue tail to go with his blue fauxhawk. Thank God he's rocking not one, but TWO tired hair trends.

Stella needs to work on her addiction to white eyeliner. Otherwise, I kind of like her.

Tonight's challenge is green materials used to make a cocktail dress for the models... who will do the shopping. The designers look like they're going to have a coronary so that's fun.

The models return from Mood and the contestants look suitably disgusted with the exception of Son of Jerrel.

"This is the outside of the dress? O - ohhh." - Tim Gunn (who followed that using the phrase "hot mess)

Suede is a bisexual Sagittarius. People are starting to complain about him talking in the third person... which is just going to make him do it more.

Blayne the Orange made up some new "---- licious" word. I really wish he would stop trying to be Christian. It's grody.

Lots of similar fabrics and some similar design going on. No immunity for this challenge, but the winner gets their dress manufactured and sold on Bluefly.com.

What happened to Tim's "It looks like a pink pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park" line? I was really looking forward to that zinger.

It's runway time...

The special guest judge is Natalie Portman. "She's the last person I would imagine being on Project Runway," says Tom, but she's here to hawk her new eco-friendly vegan shoe line.

Keith is stoked about his gold drapery point of view.

Terri is proud of her ruffled navy pencil-skirted yawn.

Wesley wishes he could have worked out the fit on his, well, I don't know what that is. "This looks like 20 sets of human hands touched it." - Michael Kors

Jerrell's streetwalker ensemble doesn't fit in the bust, not that there's much of one.

Jennifer's eye for the floaty continues to impress me.

Daniel's happy, but I'm not sure about what. I'm reminded of an oil spill for some reason.

Joe thinks he nailed his bronze party concoction. I confess I'm sort of intrigued by the sci-fi looking circle in the center. I expected it to light up and call the mother ship.

Suede thinks his young Hollywood confection would look great on a red carpet. A red carpet in hell, maybe. The judges are falling all over themselves over it. I'm going to barf.

Kenley came up with something... interesting. It's Tom's favorite and definitely the most well made of the show.

Kelli... well, Kelli's lucky she has immunity.

Leanne has the third bronze dress to come down the runway. Or is it the fourth? Does it matter? Her outfit reminds of dripping molasses. She really is the silent fashion assassin as she's just murdered that dress.

Stella's champagne rock frock is one of my faves so far (although I do wonder how one would sit in it without pulling a Paris/Lindsay/Britney). The judges are impressed that she put her own style into it, and without leather!

It pains me to say this, but I don't completely hate Blayne's dress.

Emily is really excited about her ultra short minidress. I'm... less so.

Korto thinks her dress is elegant. However, Michael says, "Curvy girls, they don't want fins off their butt."

And the winner is... Suede. Um, I'm seriously tempted to stop watching this show now. Are the judges blind or am I?! I really want to see Natalie Portman in that thing.

It's auf wiedersehen to Wesley. Drat. I'm really going to miss his shorts combos.

Lots of crying tonight. Already?!

And so it goes,
Ms. P