Ugly Betty, Ugly Debate

The Democratic candidates (minus Mike Gravel) took the stage tonight for the 11 millionth debate before caucus season starts. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton arrived to thunderous applause as the rowdy Las Vegans (does that mean none of them eat meat?) gave us a taste of what turned out to be the most entertaining debate yet.

Obama, Clinton and John Edwards came out swinging. Whoosh! The gloves were off, and I was just waiting to see some blood. I've been watching a slew of Hillary bashing on various pundit programs since her off-balance performance in Philadelphia. However, Mrs. C looked refreshed and was back in fighting form (and that is the last stupid boxing analogy I'm going to write). She got loads of applause for what is sure to be an oft quoted line of the night, "They're not attacking me because I'm a woman. They're attacking me because I'm ahead!"

Edwards drew cheers for his mention of "the corrupt system" but was actually booed for going after Clinton. At one point Kucinich even insulted him! I almost feel sorry for the guy. I like that Edwards really drives the point home for America's poor but, fair or not, his slick presentation puts me off. However, I don't want to judge him on the "Do I Want to Have a Beer with Him?" criteria that took hold of this country eight years ago. I don't want a president I can have a beer with. I don't even drink beer. I want a president who has many many more IQ points than I do.

After a contentious opening (that included, in addition to Edwards' boos, Obama getting heckled), things settled down a bit. Joe Biden brought the funny, and I really think he should consider stand-up once his career in the Senate is over. At one debate, when asked what he liked best about Dennis Kucinich, Biden answered, "his wife"!! If I had to pick favorites, I would say Biden and Kucinich, but what's the point since I have a greater chance of winning American Idol than they do of getting the nom (I know that's not statistically true, but you know what I mean).

Bill Richardson's makeup team is on the job! It's been a few debates since I've seen him sweat. Too bad he tends to ramble on a bit nonsensically. This is a shame as Richardson has an impressive work history and is the only governor up there.

Oh yeah, Chris Dodd was there, as well. It doesn't seem like Paul Simon's campaign help mattered all that much, which is too bad because I was really looking forward to "Me and Christopher Down at the Schoolyard" or "You Can Call Me Dodd" as possible campaign commercial tunes.

The candidates ran through the gamut of issues: immigration, privacy, torture, Pakistan, health care, Iran, and Iraq. It's interesting to hear what they have to say, but sadly the proof is in the pudding we won't get to taste until after they're in office. And if we find it tastes like poo instead of chocolate, it will sort of be too late.

In other campaign news, Lou Dobbs (he of the sparkly eyes and cartoony visage) is supposedly considering a bid as an independent. Dobbs is a born again populist who's achieved high ratings on CNN for using the word "arrogant" a lot and bashing illegal immigrants. I could see him gaining some traction a la Ross Perot but eventually those glittering eyes are going to look glittering mad when he goes on another rant about Prince Eliot.

Ugly Betty continued its heartbreaking streak tonight. *Spoiler Alert* I can't believe Bradford died just when he came to his senses about Wilhemina and shared some moments of fatherly bonding with Daniel. Damn. However, the episode did have one laugh out loud moment when Christopher Gorham's geeky Henry delivered the line, "I'm sweet like sugar, soft like suede and like a piano I never get played." I'm totally stealing that one. Well, maybe not, but it was purty cute.

Now the sun turns out his light,
Ms. P