Yes, I'm sitting here watching Next Great American Band, the newest reality competition brought to you by the producers of American Idol.First up for me (I'm 20 minutes late to the game) is a kiddie metal band called Light of Doom with a 12-year old drummer who looks like he already has a beer gut. Way to start 'em early!
As for the judges, there's the requisite snooty English guy (Ian Dickson from Australian Idol) in the Simon role, Sheila E as Paula Abdul and Johnny (oh, excuse me, John) Reznik as Randy Jackson. Reznik has a lot of white teeth. He's come a long way from Buffalo. I remember when I saw the Goo Goo Dolls at The Cannibal Club in Austin in 1988 and they rocked. What the hell happened?
Oh look, it's a Kings of Leon-esque trio of brothers from Nashville. Three of 11 or something. Evangelical preacher's kids. They must breed them out there in Tennessee. The boys are good, though. I've never seen anyone shred on a mandolin.
Big Toe... what do I say about Big Toe? I wish they'd been better even though I don't like looking at feet. The singer (who was born with no arms and plays bass with his feet) was an inspiration.
Zombie Bazooka Patrol - also from Nashville. "Better Off Undead". Catchy. Sort of.
Dot Dot Dot... No No No. Some horrendous Pete Wentz wannabe and, oh dear. Looks like the judges are going to say Yes Yes Yes to this dreadful cover of "Always Something There to Remind Me". Bummer. Poor Burt Bacharach! Poor Naked Eyes!
Next up, some sob story from Dayton, Ohio. Northmont, they're called, and they still think it's the 90s. This is embarrassing. I almost feel sorry for them. Oh no! Ward, the singer, is losing confidence in the bassist. Frankly, I don't understand how he had confidence in him to begin with.
The Mugs - self described as the ugliest band in the world have a bass player who suffered a stroke. But the band stuck together and make it through to the final 12.
Lots of bass player stories going on here. A rarity as usually they're the most anonymous member of any band (Stink and Ashlee Simpson's boyfriend excepted).
Here comes Fifi Larue, the gothic killer clown who lives with his mother in Long Beach. Oy. I want to cry.
I'm watching this because I'm officially giving up on Moonlight this week. Maybe that's a mistake but boy does that show suck! The vampire show sucks! Oh gosh. I kill me with my originality.
They keep previewing this girl crying, "I just got laughed at by Johnny Reznik." That's a badge of honor, sista!
Denver and the Mile High Orchestra. Quel fromage. Reznik says, "you know" a lot. Big band boredom.
I bet you're sad you missed/saw Zolar X who are apparently from some other planet. And I'm sure they're around 20 in Plutonia years but on earth it's more like 60. Nice to see that everyone's got a dream in outer space.
I'm starting to have nightmare flashbacks of listening to demos for booking. This is not how I want to spend my Friday nights!
But I am sticking around for Northmont's second chance... and then I'm not sure the Next Great American Band will get the same.
Okay, Northmont take two. The singer looks a bit like one of those Prison Break guys but comes off like Scott Stapp which is... not good. Creed makes me barf. Creed should make everyone barf. The judges look flummoxed. Methinks Northmont will have to go get some day jobs and become the responsible dads they so don't want to be. OMG! Johnny Reznik just killed their dreams! Tear.
Switching over to Women's Murder Club... Last week's episode was so plodding I never even got around to finding out who the killer was. Let's hope the ladies are a little more beguiling this time around. Angie Harmon is pretty smokin' as Homicide Inspector Lindsay Boxer and it's nice to see Rob Estes' return to TV as her ex-husband Lt. Tom Hogan. Hey look - I'm on this show! Apparently I'm playing someone named Denise Kwon. How did I miss me last week? Oh, I wasn't on. Tonight is the other Linda Park's first ep and she plays a snappy Deputy District Attorney who seems a bit bitchy. Just like me! Except for the attorney part! Paula Newsome is strong as Medical Examiner Claire Washburn, and sadly, Laura Harris, who I quite enjoyed on Dead Like Me, is the weak link here. Her two shades of platinum hair and feeble attempts at looking serious just don't cut it. And her sex scene with Kyle Secor?! Aggh! He's mine! He's bisexual and he's Bayliss and he's mine!
The writing on this show is almost laughable. Are James Patterson's books this bad? The strange combo of Law and Order meets Sex and the City is a tough sell. Just when you get used to the women's murder part it turns club and we're treated to lengthy analysis of, usually, Boxer's ex-husband. I think one of my favorite things about L&O is the fact that they rarely give glimpses into the personal lives of the characters. This is especially beneficial if Detective Green or ADA McCoy's off the clock interests are as banal as what I'm seeing on WMC.
I'm not even going to bother telling you who the subway killer is. I get the feeling that's secondary here. I'll keep watching because I'm a sucker for Angie Harmon and I'd like to see the other Linda Park after hearing about her for a few years. But I'm not sure I'm happy about it.
At least it's probably better than Samantha Who?, right?
Ms. P
you love kyle secor too? i wanted to marry him all through high school. homicide was my favorite show of all time until firefly came around. i didn't know he was going to be on wmc until i watched it last week, but now i'll have to keep watching even though the first ep wasn't too promising. the whole ongoing serial killer story might make it more interesting though.
ReplyDeleteI hope so because the show needs some kind of help. I don't really understand it - they have a good cast and a good premise... but something's missing.
ReplyDeleteAlso - KS, yes! However, his recent run as smarmy guy is kind of bumming me out. However, a friend of mine in LA who wrote for Hidden Palms told me he seemed nice, but very tall when I grilled her about him. :)
ReplyDeleteWhy not just watch Friday Night Lights? It's an incredible show, but for some reason, nobody wants to give it a chance.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you have to lose? You've already admitted the two shows on opposite of it are really bad.
I know... I've heard nothing but great things about FNL, but I grew up going to Odessa, TX for 5A high school football games. I'm scarred for life! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting.
so kyle's a nice guy, eh? that's good to hear. but he's not so nice that he wouldn't leave his wife for me, right? cos that would make all of my 9th grade dreams come true.
ReplyDeletewmc isn't too bad really. especially for a friday night show. (those are so rare now anyway. most networks - not counting cable - have taken to just showing reruns of their other weekly shows on fridays.) but i can't get over "dead like me" girl's outfits. anyone who looks like she does wouldn't be caught dead in those ny & co.-looking, black, grey and white, poorly tailored clothes. the producers of that show are totally not using her cuteness to its full potential.