America's Next Top Model... and some other stuff

Goodness, there's so much to discuss... like Stephen Colbert running for President (a novelty President. Hrm. Can't be any worse than what we have now), Ann Coulter's website getting hacked, (we should have known it was a hoax when some reasonable speech appeared), George Bush hanging out with the Dalai Lama (that sounds like a punchline), Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize (old news, I know), Senator Larry Craig's bizarro interview with Matt Lauer (he's straight. Really! He was just trying to get toilet paper off his shoe. Wha??), sex with robots (marriage, too!) and Don Imus returning to the airwaves (zzzz).

However, my time is short because I really need to get back to Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass. The southeastern sea needs exploring!

Anyway, instead of pontificating about news bits I'll dissect America's Next Top Model (spoiler alert!).

Last week they dropped the Yalie which kind of surprised me but since it was her or Tootie (seriously, what was up with that makeover?), I see why she had to go.

This leaves us with:

Sarah, the girl who looks like Eddie Furlong (circa T2) with boobs.

Bianca, who looks way hotter with no hair but is still a whiny bitch.

Chantal, the moron from Texas. I hope I don't see her walking around Austin while I'm there next month for work because I might have to tell her she's a petulant shrew and then she might cry again.

Lisa, the Flashdancer from Jersey who everyone's gone all green-eyed monster over.

Heather, the Indiana gal with Asperger's who will probably make it to the top three.

Ebony, whose weird mouth is growing on me. I think it reminds me of Jaslene the drag queen's.

And Jenah, who looks like a porn star but takes great pics.

Maybe there are some more? Who cares?

This week the girls go to an ice rink and learn how to strike a pose with skating lothario and Kristy Swanson impregnator, Lloyd Eisler. Everyone makes fun of Lisa but she wins the challenge and shoots an ad for some clothing line I've never heard of.

Next up is posing atop a building and the models must act like... gargoyles. Sure. That's what those pictures looked like to me. Anyhoodle, when all is said and done, Janet and Ambreal (whose name, for some reason, reminds me of Cher calling Amber "Ambulator" in Clueless) are in the bottom two, and Mama Janet gets the boot which is fine since I never even noticed her until she got kicked off.

So much to catch up on! And I'm testing for my 7th degree yellow belt tomorrow night so, uh, wish me luck! If I can break a board with my foot I will be high on life.

Nightie night,
Ms. P

ps. I hope you enjoy this photo of America's Next Top Insect Model. I think he got some lessons from Benny Ninja!

pps. I'm watching Jake Gyllenhaal on The Daily Show. He seems like such a jerk, but I did love Donnie Darko.