Let the sniping begin!

New York Fashion Week is underway, people!

Day One's marquee names included BCBG, Perry Ellis, Erin Fetherston (someone please tell me why she gets so much hype), Rock and Republic, adam+eve (Oprah loves them!), and most notably, Gwen Stefani's line, L.A.M.B

For full coverage of fashion week, New York magazine has it all.

Obviously I am nowhere near Bryant Park. Seriously, I don't think they let you within a one mile radius of 42nd and 6th if you're wearing anything from Old Navy so that pretty much counts me out. When I stop with the Homemade Pie & Ice Cream Kitchen overdoses and can fit into the AG jeans I bought on Ebay maybe they'll let me circle the block. But those fashionistas, they'll still know i am not one of them.

Anyhoo, why blog about clothes when there are so many other fascinating things going on in the world? Things like Celebrity Rap Superstar! To the anonymous commenter who told me about this abomination... I am speechless. Something I wish these "celebrities" were. However, I will admit that watching Sebastian Bach do "Mama Said Knock You Out"... mildly priceless. Sadly, listening to (Vote for) Pedro (that guy hasn't even had enough of a career to be this over) rap in a strange monotone... not so much.

Well, I'm tired of thinking about whether or not Larry Craig should resign (he should stay but only if he comes out. Oh, my husband just told me he's resigning for sure. He must have woken up to a horse head in his bed the way they've been going after him), tired of seeing pictures of Mitch McConnell's pasty face in conjunction with this story and tired of thinking about Fred "Vote for me, I have a pickup truck!" Thompson entering the race for the GOP nomination. In other words, I need some escape.

And what better way to break free of the bonds of reality than with Spring 2008 as brought to you by a bunch of insane insanely rich designers? I always love their versions of what's "street." I'm never sure which street they're referring to but it's certainly not the one I live on.

Some random thoughts: The pox that is high-waisted is not going away anytime soon (drat) and will arrive next spring in the form of hot pants (yuck). Between high-waisted trousers and skinny jeans, the designers are doing their part to combat the obesity epidemic in this country as the only people for whom these looks are attractive are women with a BMI under 19. Personally, I can't wait for either look to go away as they looked crappy on me the first time around and last time I checked I was still short and still well-fed. I'm always amused when I try on old jeans I've kept around for years only to find that I was wearing Mom jeans in my twenties. Crikey.

Bland colors and boring looks we've seen before peppered the runways. BCBG had some interesting stuff but lowered the bar by making a sad attempt to bring back lingerie as clothing. I hated that ten years ago, hate it now. Rock and Republic showcased some dresses that would make a hooker feel shy. Perry Ellis apparently never wants any man to get the girl (unless perhaps she is blind. Turtlenecks with shorts? Is this for real?) And lastly, though I will admit that Stefani's L.A.M.B. show injected the most life into the proceedings, the clothes were a bit costumey and impractical. Will you be wearing short shorts with sheer knee highs and stilettos come April? No? Me, either. However, kudos to her for not putting me to sleep with earth tones more suited to fall. Just because you throw in a bunch of white pants and skirts, it does not mean spring has sprung.

But really, I bash because I envy! I promise that if I ever win the lottery I will spare no expense to look as stupid as possible! Unfortunately I don't really play the lottery.

When are parachute pants coming back?
Ms. P

ps. I'm writing this while watching Regis Philbin on The View. Man, I hate this show but was convinced by a well-meaning friend to give it another shot. What is up with Hasselbach's hair? How many ugly shades of blonde can you fit on one head? That lady sure is annoying. I really hope i have something better to do tomorrow morning at 11.