Every new fall television season brings hope and excitement followed by the inevitable disappointment (Studio 60). That said, occasionally we get lucky (30 Rock) and the TV Gods don't cancel our new favorites after two episodes. This week I'm going through each network by day. Sunday and Monday are together because of The Emmys last night. Enjoy!
Sunday Night
ABC
8.00 Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (Sep 30). Sure, that Ty Pennington guy is kind of hot (if you're into that sort of thing) and yes, it's awesome that they help these people out by building them homes they can't really afford, but I've seen four or five eps of this show and frankly, that's enough. However, if you like emotional manipulation, they're off to Hawaii this year. Aloha McMansions!
9.00 Desperate Housewives (Sep 30). I'll be heading back to Wisteria Lane for a third season. Especially if Nathan (celebrity crush in Serenity) Fillion's there! That he's paired with Dana Delany is a bit of a drag (thank heavens they didn't cast her as Bree!) The show also welcomes its first gay couple in the form of Tuc Watkins and Kevin Rahm, who I'm glad to see is getting work.
10.00 Brothers & Sisters (Sep 30). More melodrama with the Walkers. More me not tuning in. Tried to watch this last year because I'm a big Rachel Griffiths fan but I just couldn't get past Calista Flockhart (still having nightmares about the dancing baby).
CBS
8.00 Viva Laughlin (Oct 18). Hugh Jackman singing and dancing?! I'm so there! That it sounds ridiculous and possibly terrible, and also stars Melanie Griffith, does not deter me in the least.
9.00 Cold Case (Sep 23). My life only has so much room for crime shows. That they're doing an all Nirvana episode makes me less interested, not more.
10.00 Shark (Sep 23). Shark didn't always hold my attention in season one but I stayed with it until the end and though the scenery got a bit chewy, it's hard to resist James Woods as high-powered defense attorney turned prosecutor Sebastian Stark. Kevin Pollak joins the cast this year and hopefully Jeri Ryan will get some better scenes even with her demotion.
NBC
8.00 Sunday Night Football. Growing up in Texas I watched enough football to last me a lifetime. So, no thanks.
FOX
8.00 The Simpsons (Sep 23). Stopped watching years ago but understand the enduring appeal of Homer and fam. Am considering a return due to future guests Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Dan Rather, Steve Buscemi, Jack Black, Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce and John Mahoney. Now you want to see it, too, right?!
8.30 King of the Hill (Sep 23). Stopped watching this years ago, as well. Am not considering a return even though I had a crush on Boomhauer.
9.00 Family Guy (Sep 23). I had a FG obsession for a while but eventually their trolling pop culture for mean gags got to be a bit much. I'm willing to give it another chance, though, because Stewie is still the child I would want (which is probably why I don't want any).
9.30 American Dad (Sep 30). I was lucky enough to go to a table reading of AD a couple years ago and it was actually quite funny. Too bad that funniness doesn't translate to the show. They should just air the readings and save themselves the trouble of all that animation.
The CW
8.00 Life is Wild (Oct 7). Sounds more like life is mild in this family drama about a Manhattan teen who moves to South Africa. Apparently we're to expect lion cubs and the spirit of SA (but you know, like, in a cool CW kind of way and not like that grody 60 Minutes or National Geographical or something).
9.00 America's Next Top Model repeat. Okay, I know I'm addicted to this show now and everything but I do believe that once is enough.
Monday Night
ABC
8.00 Dancing With the Stars (Sep 24). Wayne Newton. Mark Cuban. Scary Spice. Run away, you're thinking? I know I'll be tuning in but only for the first two episodes. I can't handle more than that. Besides, Cuban will probably get ousted in week one like Tucker Carlson did last year.
9.30 Samantha Who? (Oct 15). Exactly.
10.00 The Bachelor (Sep 24). I've had my fill of bitchy chicks and dumb guys with Rock of Love so there's no room in my life for The Bachelor, I'm afraid.
CBS
8.00 How I Met Your Mother (Sep 24). The critically acclaimed comedy returns for a third season. I really enjoy this show but if it weren't for Neil Patrick Harris as the smarmy yet endearing Barney it could easily be just another generic-in-the-mold-of-Friends-sitcom. So, all hail Doogie!
8.30 The Big Bang Theory (Sep 24). I'm thrilled Heroes is such a big hit. Not sure I'm thrilled about the abundance of nerd programming that its success has spawned (and I love nerds). Mildly interested in the return of Johnny Galecki. But only mildly.
9.00 Two and a Half Men (Sep 24). This show sure does get nominated for a lot of stuff. I cannot, however, watch it because the images of Charlie Sheen in Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Jon Cryer in Pretty in Pink must remain preserved in my heart and mind.
9.30 Rules of Engagement (Sep 24). How David Spade, funny though he may be, ever snagged Heather Locklear remains a mystery to probably all of us. She'll appear on two eps this season but I still won't tune in.
10.00 CSI: Miami (Sep 24). I had a slim desire to watch this show because I really enjoyed Emily Procter on The West Wing. Unfortunately, I never enjoy David Caruso so it's a no go for me.
NBC
8.00 Chuck (Sep 24). Semi-interesting premise about a dork who gets America's secret intelligence downloaded into his brain. The dork, Zachary Levi as Chuck, is kind of charming but when I watched the pilot I fell asleep.
9.00 Heroes (Sep 24). I'm getting a bit worried about Heroes, mostly because the spin-off (Heroes: Origins) sounds so freaking stupid - America votes on a new Hero? Gag. I watch this show because America has nothing to do with voting on who stays or goes. We've seen what America does when it votes. However, Tom actually likes this show, Masi Oka is adorable, and Kristen Bell is joining the cast (I'm still sad Veronica Mars got canned) so I'll be there to find out the fate of the Petrellis just like the rest of you.
10.00 Journeyman (Sep. 24). Fellow Velocity blogger Aaron Miller watched the pilot and recommends. The Quantum Leap-esque premise is intriguing but egads... I really watch too much TV as it is and sacrifices must be made.
FOX
8.00 Prison Break (Sep 17). I read that Michael is now in prison and Lincoln is the free one. I get that you have to keep it fresh but what happens when season three rolls around?
9.00 K-Ville (Sep 17). Fox Network + Hurricane Katrina aftermath + by the book cop drama = Linda watching something else. That said, I'm glad they're actually shooting in New Orleans and spending their production dollars there.
The CW
8.00 Everybody Hates Chris (Oct 1). Chris Rock makes his first appearance as a guidance counselor which sounds funny but so what. Rock's misogynistic humor is something I've had enough of.
8.30 Aliens in America (Oct 1). Harold and Kumar go to Wisconsin: The High School Years.
9.00 Girlfriends (Oct 1). Apparently this show is in its eighth season and I've never heard of it. So, you know, I think I'll allow my ignorant bliss to continue, thank you very much.
9.30 The Game (Oct 1). Footballer's Wives: The American Sitcom Edition. In the same way I don't care about Sunday Night Football, I also don't care about this.
Our TV week seems to be starting off nicely, methinks. Some shows to look forward to but I'm not feeling the usual "slave to the set" dread yet.
Until Tuesday,
Ms. P
ps. My favorite Republican, Lincoln Chafee (the Rhode Island Senator who lost his seat in the last election), quit the GOP. Now I don't have a favorite Republican! Maybe I'll have to spread the love to Maine Senator Olympia Snowe and she'll defect, too!
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