A friend told me recently that what bloggers do is sit around writing about how things suck.
Well, I'm going to continue in that great tradition by telling you about the new Doug Liman film, Jumper.
It sucks.
Hayden Christensen sucks. I can no longer blame George Lucas for his wooden acting.
Rachel Bilson sucks. She has the blank stare down. This will be great if she ever lands the lead role in Lifetime Television Presents: The Paris Hilton Story.
Samuel L. Jackson sucks. Can you say phoning it in? And what was up with that creepy spray painted white hair?
David S Goyer sucks. My husband says he's an awesome writer. Not awesome enough to save this mess, unfortunately! All hail the plotless film!
Jamie Bell... doesn't suck. Too bad he's barely in the movie. Too bad his character was basically aping Christopher Eccleston's turn on Heroes.
I think I've covered everyone. Diane Lane's not even worth mentioning so throwaway was her role. I want my 90 minutes back! I know I deserve a lecture on my movie choices but really, it's stressful days at work, and I just wanted to escape and have some fun! Is that too much to ask?!
I also watched The Last Mimzy last night. The people who made that movie had to have been on drugs. Lots of them. I love the idea of sending a bunny back in time to save humankind, though. I love bunnies!!
I probably suck, too,
Ms. P
the last mimzy sounds like fun. I'll check that out. just watched the amazing Paprika, that movie IS drugs. i was trippin like crazy.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAnSKN9s7eY
The Last Mimzy felt like what would happen if hippies re-made E.T. I did like it though, but I still hate hippies.
ReplyDeleteThe thing about Jumper is that everyone involved has done so much better. Granted, they've all probably done worse, but still. Anyway, watch Shoot Em Up as a palate cleanser.
The filming style of Jumper made me feel like i myself was jumping around, which was good. and Christensen's lines were as short as possible, which was ideal for the movie's overall quality.
ReplyDelete