Clash of the Choirs: The Biggest Elimination That America Has Ever Seen

No, that's not some tacky scatalogical joke (I hate poop humor), it's the dumb thing the annoying host of Clash of the Choirs just said on the intro for the show. I want to know what hostess factory this idiot came from.

Yes, kiddies, it's night two of COTC, America's new music sensation. I'm not sure if it really is, but considering I got beaucoup hits on last night's post, methinks perhaps this might be goofy but true.

The two obvious frontrunners, Team LaBelle from Philadelphia and Team Shelton from Oklahoma City are safe. Also unsurprisingly safe is Team Lachey from Cincinnati. We'll see if Michael Bolton's chest hair is enough to save the lads and lasses of New Haven or if my prediction about their early ousting is correct... much later, apparently.

Blake Shelton, who plays along with his choir on his acoustic guitar (why, I do not know because we can't hear it), leads his merry singers through the Doobie Brothers' "Takin it to the Streets", and the judges love it, of course. I think the point of this show is for everyone to love everything because, well, it's the holidays and this is for charity after all.

Team LaBelle hits the stage with a rousing rendition of The Pretenders' "I'll Stand By You". I wonder what Chrissie Hynde must think of this (I'm sure she's watching from the comfort of a non-leather chair). This isn't quite as special as "He's Got the Whole World" but LaBelle definitely picked the best soloists in the whole competition. I really can't believe I'm discussing this seriously. Does this mean I'm going to watch American Idol in January just so I have something to write about? Eep, says I. The host just asked Patti, "If you beat my butt will I be this good?"

Blake Shelton is just so adorable. I never want to hear his music so I can continue to feel this way.

Nick Lachey's choir is making me gag right now but only because they're doing some Garth Brooks thing. "I've Got Friends in Low Places". Yes, this is a low alright. Bit messy, I have to say. At least they're not line dancing, right? But like Omigod! The host thinks it's amazing! Amazing! Amazing! "Those are some men! Wharoo!"

Alright it's chopping block time! It's farewell to... well, holy crap I was wrong. Remind me never to underestimate the power of the Ghost of Mullets Past. See ya later Team Rowland. I guess destiny's child didn't feel like smiling upon you tonight.

Team Bolton got an easy one with "Ain't No Mountain High Enough". Everyone loves this song! The granny-power infused group is a bit milquetoast, and I'm sorry to say I didn't like the female soloist. She sounded a bit flat. But you know, great effort and all. I'm having flashbacks to that Julia Roberts/Susan Sarandon movie Stepmom. Speaking of mommies, Michael Bolton loves his. I wonder if she loves Nicolette...

My prediction for tomorrow... Bye bye Team Bolton! Michael's abundant chest hair will not save you two nights in a row! I'm just going to say that every night now. Even when they're gone. Even when this show is over.

Speaking of over...

P out.