Jumping right in...Politically speaking...
Mos Def and Cornel West appeared on Real Time with Bill Maher. I LOVE Cornel West and wish I could go to Princeton and take one of his classes. Mos Def, on the other hand, most definitely needs to take his medication or something before appearing on live TV. I bet Rahm Emanuel is glad he had to stay in DC to vote.
George Stephanapolous interviewed McCain and Kerry on This Week. Seriously, these guys are starting to sound like the Charlie Brown teachers. Mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah. Mwah mwah mwah.
Chuck Hagel is not running for president. In fact, Chuck Hagel is retiring.
It was such a slow week they were talking about Amy Winehouse (and how she's hurting the British royals... Wha??!), Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Ritchie on The Mclaughlin Group. That was definitely surreal.
CNN's Kelli Arena (is that her real name?) said that Osama bin Laden, in his new video, , "comes off like an angry blogger." Does this mean I'm bin Laden? How about Andy Ostroy? Or Michelle Malkin (who makes me embarrassed to be Asian)? Since when does freedom of speech equal terrorism? But hey, if being angry = being bin Laden = being a terrorist, I sure hope they capture Rush Limbaugh real soon.
Fred Thompson officially entered the presidential race to the sound of loud cheering on The Tonight Show. This was immediately followed by the sound of crickets chirping. I'm just glad Sam Waterston finally gets the DA job on Law and Order.
Senator Larry Craig announced... oh who cares.
Every Rose Has Its Scorn...
This week on Rock of Love, Brandi M gave herself the heave ho and good for her, I say. Can you believe Bret's "outrage" over her not telling him she couldn't let her guard down? This guy is such a petulant little dweeb and I'm so glad the show is ending soon because seriously, watching him kiss these girls makes me shudder. Lacey continued her bid for Bitch of the Century but managed to get so completely drunk she passed out on the dinner table. The girls pretended to rock out at Bret's lame Vegas solo show. Jes has no rhythm and apparently did the nasty with BM (how fitting those are his initials) but I still love her. I really do hope Heather wins at this point. They're perfect for each other. Two peas in a skankpod. Like Michaels' said, he just has to figure out how to get her off the stripper pole and onto his. Euw!
The MTV Video Music Awards
(Written as they happened! Almost like being there! Only not!)
Why did John Norris bleach his hair? Why is he wearing eyeliner? Hate to break it to you, John, but you're not Pete Wentz. Or even Bret Michaels, for that matter. You were not cool in the 90s, you are not cool now. Embrace it! Own it! Uncool people are cool!
Why is Lil Mama dressed like a baby? Is this irony? Furthermore, who is Lil Mama?!
Nelly Furtado went blonde, too. She looks as good as John Norris.
Mary J. Blige, also now a blonde. What the hell is going on? She just said Britney Spears is smart. What the hell is going on?
Oh look, there's Kid Rock! Oh look, no one cares!
50 Cent is kind of cute and he's keeping it positive for the Brit. Is it fitty? Or fifty? I like fitty better but they just said fifty. Bit disappointing.
Now I'm watching some Pussycat Doll lip-synch. She's kind of pretty, but I used to book those girls at a club I worked at in LA and they were always asking if their butts looked big. Do you know how annoying that is when your butt actually is big? Very.
Okay, John Norris is really freaking me out. He looks like the Crypt Keeper.
They're interviewing a lot of bands I've never heard of. This makes me proud.
Paris Hilton is trying to sport some Carol Brady look. Too bad she still looks like a ho.
Ludacris has a pulse peak shaved into his head. Good to know he is alive.
Kanye West is kind of cute, too, but possibly not as cute as 50 Cent. His record covers are much better, though, so at least he can feel good about that.
Sway looks like the Nintendo character Toad Stool.
Chris Shifflet of the Foo Fighters - also blond! Geez. But he looks more like Mike McCready. Dave Grohl and I are both high school dropouts. Yay for dropping out! But seriously kids (because I know my teenage readership is like, in the millions) stay in school. Don't be like Dave Grohl and me.
Linkin Park is still together?
Alright, I confess I was totally prepared to unload a giant bucket of snark all over Britney Spears but I can't. It's just too sad and pathetic.
In fact, it was so bad I'm turning the TV off and going to walk the dog.
Toodles,
Ms. P
ps. Federer won the match but Jokovic won everyone's hearts. Awww!
"Why did John Norris bleach his hair?"
ReplyDeletehis hair? i don't know whose hair that is, but it's definitely not his. john norris has been balding since i was in middle school.
Have you watched "Mad Men" on AMC? It is filled with characters awesomely disgusting personas -- in nice 60's fashions. You can also catch the previous shows on "On Demand" in the "Free Spot" section. No charge from Insight. I promise.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I am on an Amy Winehouse Death Watch. I am thinking about taking bets for when she kicks it -- Janis Joplin style. Is that wrong? (purely a rhetorical question)
I laughed out loud so many times while reading this. I had to work last night so I missed the MTV awards, but I think you just saved me two hours. (And seriously, who IS Lil Mama? And all those other random bands?)
ReplyDeleteI also missed Rock of Love. Jes humped Bret? Ewwwwwww. I'd actually love to see BM and Heather get ready together in the bathroom and fight over hairspray and black eyeliner. I bet she'd whoop his butt in a brawl.
I'm sure if Bret ends up with Heather she WILL kick his ass someday. You must catch this week's ep - it's pretty priceless and it looks like the fur will fly on the next one! The parents come to visit. Can you imagine?
ReplyDeleteThank you for watching the VMAs so I didn't have to.
ReplyDeleteSure thing! I'll be doing the same for the Emmys!
ReplyDeletei watched the first few episodes of "mad men" and found it to be a bunch of cliches strung together by a less than engaging atoryline.
ReplyDeleteoh look - that pregnant woman is smoking! oh well, it was the 60s.
hey did that guy just say something racist? oh well, it was the 60s.
with everything else i was watching this summer it just didn't seem worth the time.
And you managed to keep it down? I'm impressed. I feel sorry for her because it really just seems like she is too stupid to figure out how dumb she is. And I cannot believe there's NO ONE around her who's telling her what's what. Pretty sickening.
ReplyDelete