Emmy madness begins...Carlos Mencia hosted the The Creative Arts Emmys on September 8. Generally these are technical awards like Outstanding Casting, Outstanding Picture Editing for Nonfiction Programming and Outstanding Hairstyling Team. However, they garnered notice and controversy this year for SNL's "Dick in a Box" win and Kathy Griffin's acceptance speech. They only censored the "Suck it, Jesus" part on the telecast. I wonder if she's apologized to the Catholic Defamation League yet or if she's going to Hell.
And on to the Red Carpet...
I guess Joan Rivers isn't allowed on the red carpet anymore so she's doing live blogging for VH-1. I bet all the celebs are super sad they won't be accosted by Joan and her completely out of it questions.
While I'm waiting for actual celebrities to arrive I'm watching episode two of Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. The contestant, JeAnne, is more likable than the girl from week one but I'm still not a fan. Tim is starting to look like Max Headroom (they keep doing these face shots and it's eerie, I tell you). When does Project Runway start? Anyone?
Oooh, Becki Newton (Ugly Betty) and her husband, Chris Diamantopoulos, are up first... Newton looks like a mermaid. Sort of. Not sure what to make of this chiffon fish-scale contraption. Newton says her celebrity crush is Ryan Seacrest. I'm disappointed.
The newly single (and newly blonde - good Lord, is it going to be another one of those nights?!) Jennifer Morrison (House) is sporting a slinky silver Elie Saab number. She and ex-fiance Jesse Spencer (he's cute, even if he was in Uptown Girls) will continue to work together on the show and I'm interested to see what becomes of their burgeoning romance given the irony that they split recently.
Zachary Quinto from Heroes is in Alexander McQueen. Just saw him playing a creepy serial killer on a Charmed rerun so apparently Sylar is a real stretch for him.
Why is Ryan Seacrest doing red carpet coverage when he's also the host? That's not tacky or anything.
Giuliana Rancic (nee DePandi) gets on my nerves almost as much as Ryan Seacrest. Kimora Lee Simmons is doing the fashion commentary with Carson Kressley. Z to the zzzs.
Jennifer Love Hewitt. She's still around? Maybe she and Cesar Millan can join forces and help dogs cross over to the other side. Geez, I just read that he guest starred on her show. There's no such thing as original thought, anymore. Seriously.
Here comes Debra Messing in an unappealing Ralph Lauren. I thought I was rid of her when Will and Grace ended. I'm sad to find this is not so.
Now they're humiliating Rainn Wilson with high school photos. Poor guy. Not sure about his new hair style, though. Kind of weird to see a blowout on a dude.
Kyra Sedgwick looks like she didn't zip her Oscar de la Renta dress up all the way. Must be some new look I'm unaware of.
It's not as gratifying to make fun of actors. The VMA's were more entertaining. I can't believe I just said that.
I love Tina Fey. I read a "feminist" article about how she's hurting women with her character on 30 Rock. I think what's hurting women are stupid articles like that.
They keep showing Ali Larter who couldn't afford a dress because she appears to have a sheet wrapped around her. Poor thing. And I thought Heroes was doing so well!
America Ferrara is so great on Ugly Betty, but why does she keep losing weight? This wouldn't bother me except that all the little starlets seem to do this - get famous for actually having a figure then promptly go anorexic (Christina Ricci and Thora Birch come to mind).
Hayden Panettiere is showing less cleavage than at the VMA's. Thank God. She just called the Heroes ensemble "my cast." I hate it when actors do pretentious crap like that.
Ana Ortiz (Ugly Betty) looks hot in Escada and Harry Winston! Her purple sequined gown is the best I've seen so far. Not a stitch of Hilda in sight.
Tom Selleck is here! He must be promoting the NRA. Awesome.
Eva Longoria looks resplendent in a very shiny Kaufman Franco. Too bad her stylist forgot to brush her hair out.
Ooh, the red carpet's gone green! Approximately 95,000 plastic bottles were recycled to create it. I sure hope some of them were mine! What a contribution on my part!
Kate Walsh has half-cleavage and half -hair. Does this mean I only have to watch half of Private Practice?
Jaime Pressly must be so glad to have her figure back since she hated being fat and pregnant so much. She's advocating the Cabbage Soup diet. I prefer the Master Cleanse, myself.
Ellen DeGeneres just stepped on Portia de Rossi's dress and now they're bickering like an old married couple. I wish they could actually be an old married couple. Ellen's in a Gucci suit. I want a Gucci suit! But I don't really because they use fur.
Oh! Oh! There's Elizabeth Perkins. In an ugly dress. And I don't watch Weeds. But I'm so glad she's made a comeback of sorts.
Joely Fisher and her boobs have arrived. Pay attention to that yellow dress, ladies, because you'll be seeing a lot of that color next spring!
I love Steve Carell. He just said, "Most of the people here are bad people." He's joking... or is he?
Masi Oka says he's wearing his lucky invisible underwear. More than I needed to know.
I wanted to make some tacky comments about Kevin Dillon and Entourage and isn't it funny that they all play characters who are more famous than they'll ever be, but he seems quite sweet so I won't.
Jenna Fischer just called her empire waist dress "umpire waist." I don't even need to write a joke now!
Ahhh, Hugh Laurie. How remiss I was not to include you in my celebrity crush post! Hugh, like Clive Owen, gets the "in everything" distinction, too. He's even a good fiction writer.
Katherine Heigl has envelopes for sleeves. This will be great if she wants to mail some letters later. Good thinking, Zac Posen!
I think this is the first time I've seen Heidi Klum without a bun in the oven in years. She and Seal are pretty cute, I have to admit. I guess on this day they're "in".
Ellen Pompeo is so vain that she took her engagement ring off because it didn't match her jewelry. Kudos to her, though, for wanting a wedding that's just her and her fiance. Unfortunately, she still bugs.
Errr, Kanye West is there?! Is he hoping they'll give him an Emmy just for showing up? To make up for his lack of MTV awards? Is there anywhere he won't go?
Well, the show hath started so back later with more on the winners and losers!
Fighting off Emmy fatigue,
Ms. P
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