Family Movies, Banned Books and Twitter Polling

I'm supposed to be writing today, but instead I'm busy photoshopping Alexander Skarsgard into birthday cards (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAMIE!). So... oops.

But now I'm here... and... I'm listening to this song and I better change it soon because it always makes me want to weep openly and think about being young and stuff and, you know, ponder just how much EVERYTHING MEANT!!



However, I love it. I even wrote about this song back in March so it's fitting that it gets another mention on another cool day.

Speaking of which, this weather is the greatest thing ever. I'm sitting in my office with the window open and earlier I drove up and down 71 with the windows down listening to embarrassing music. I might even have been singing along and everything. Don't tell anyone. Have I talked about how I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder in reverse? I swear it's true.

Okay, why I'm really here is because earlier when I was at Target I saw this and it made me laugh.


























I think when I was a kid family movies consisted of things that had Muppets. Times sure have changed. Though this is obviously a mistake, I bet this is actually family fare for some people... which is scary.

In other news, I thought this was pretty cool:


























I live in a pretty conservative area (I won't even talk about what percentage of people out here voted for John McCain, it's too depressing) so I was pretty impressed and pleased to see the Crestwood branch of the Oldham County Library celebrating Banned Books Week with such an impressive display. I hope you all support your public libraries!!

And finally... last week's Twitter Poll -- God, it was so long ago I don't even remember the question, oh yeah! -- "Who's your favorite cheesy 80s band?" Kind of boring, I admit, and I figured I would just get 100 tweets saying "Journey" and that would be that. However, I don't think there's anything cheesy about Journey, they're so awesome and all, and only one person (@theotherjeff) rang in with, "Journey, poll closed." Other votes filtered in for "Kiss, sans makeup" (@darthspacegrass), Europe, Kajagoogoo, Van Halen, ABC and Wham and I almost had a winner with Pseudo Echo (!!!) but nothing... and I do mean nothing... beats Modern Talking! Many thanks to @monsieurarkadian for blowing my mind with this:



How I never heard this song, I do not know. What I do know is that my life was sorely lacking until I saw this. Now I am complete. Please follow along with this Twitter shizzle (I live to resurrect dead lingo) @mspark.

Aren't these posts super fun? It's like my brain connected directly to the internet and hurled. I bet we'll be able to do that someday. Someday soon... unless it all crashes (which I'm secretly hoping for. God I would be so productive). I could keep going here, but I wont... I mean I'd like to discuss how I discovered Tucker Max last night and would now like to punch him in the face. Am I allowed to say that? I don't really mean it. Well maybe a little, but I do NOT condone violence, kids!

Have You Read This Book?

I finished The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo when I woke up this morning. This comes after reading the book til 4 am (which isn't that exciting, actually, I stay up til 4 every night).

It was dark and intriguing. Somber but not without humor. Detailed with minutiae at times yet quickly paced.

I've never read a book about another 5 ft tall black haired girl with a dragon tattoo on her left shoulder. Though I'm not as tough or interesting or Swedish as Lisbeth, there were other similarities in our histories that at times made my eyes widen at the wonder of it all.

However, this book isn't just for short people with a fondness for ink and revenge (I did read some deliciously violent passages twice, I admit). The story seamlessly flows between the dynastic history of the very strange Vanger family and modern corporate corruption in Sweden. I've mentioned my aversion to spoilers so I'll say nothing more about the plot.

Author Stieg Larsson passed away before this book -- part one of The Millennium Series -- was ever published. It will be a sad day in October when I've read the last page of The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets' Nest, the final book. In the meantime, I anxiously await the arrival of The Girl Who Played With Fire.

In other news, I'm going on a news boycott this week. Ironic since Wednesday's column is all about the 24 hour news channels. (Yes, I just used the word "news" three times in one sentence.) You can find me at Qdoba reading Anne Perry's Cain His Brother. I'm still gobsmacked by the fact that Perry is actually Juliet Hulme. Kate Winslet's portrayal of her in Peter Jackson's Heavenly Creatures fascinates me to this day.

Things I've Done This Week

I went to see Ponyo. Not my favorite Hayao Miyazaki film but his retelling of The Little Mermaid is fairly delightful even though I think Sosuke's mother would have been reported to child services at some point for all that reckless driving... and leaving a five year old alone in the middle of a typhoon.




I also saw District 9. I'm sort of maniacal about spoilers so I didn't know much about it and suspected it might be some sort of Cloverfield-esque piece of poo. Oh how wrong I was. Strangely, I think I liked D9 more than anyone else I know that's seen it. The joy of reduced expectations, I suspect. The film also made me cry more than once. I'm really just... getting to the point of head asplode over how we treat each other and even though it was just a movie, I sat there thinking, "Well, of course this is what would happen."




I finished reading Phillipa Gregory's The Other Boleyn Girl. It was a bit of a chore getting to the finish of a 600+ page book when I knew how it ended, but the detail of life in Tudor England was beautifully done. I mentioned in another post what a jerk Henry VIII was. I sort of reveled in his piggish decline as the book wound down and his madness escalated. Next on the reading list: getting back to Anne Perry's William Monk series and checking out Stieg Larsson's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo which comes highly recommended by a trusted friend.




Let's see, what else? I got called one of "Obama's Youth" and a communist in one sentence by someone I know and like. He wondered if I was reporting dissidents to the Kremlin (White House) over health care reform. So that was fun.




And finally, I watched both the Project Runway All Star Challenge and the premiere of season 6 last night. The All Star Challenge was a bit disappointing. I wanted Sweet P to win and couldn't believe they chose Daniel Vosovic for two reasons: that athletic shirt/bubble skirt combo seemed ridiculous and his restaurant dress with the vertical black tubing across the midriff looked like he was going for some sort of suicide bomber chic. Still, Daniel was the least annoying of the bunch and I was reminded how much I do not miss Korto, Jeffrey and, of course, Santino, who was so awful Tim Gunn said he contemplated cyanide.

As for season 6, there are so many contestants it's hard to tell where the show's headed. Already we have this season's Ricky Lizalde in the form of Johnny Sakalis, the ex-addict who spent much of the episode in tears. I think the irony is lost on no one that Ari Fish got the auf wiedersehen as she's a dead ringer for guest judge Lindsay Lohan's on again/off again girlfriend Samantha Ronson. I mean, they auf'ed her in favor of a dude who sent his model down the runway in a beige chiffon tent. A look deemed "unwearable" by the judges. La Lohan made for an opinionated judge. I guess designing leggings has really made her an expert in sartorial critique. My favorite looks of the night came from gender bending Malvin Vien and Kohl's designer Ra'mon-Lawrence Coleman. Why the judges loved this thing, I have no idea. Then again, Tom kind of liked it, too, so maybe it's just me.

Ok... that's it for this week in the life of LP. I read this morning that Trinny & Susannah have a new show on TLC that starts tonight. Oh yes, I am very pleased about this.

Is there anything I'm missing out on? Book, film and TV suggestions are always appreciated. Oh, I also watched Mad Men for the first time ever, but since the theme song was my favorite part of the show I figured it's best not to discuss and irritate all my MM loving friends.

A Witch Hunt For Another Girl

The Cure - New Music - More Music Videos

If you read Velocity, you'll find out tomorrow that I planned to spend this summer writing a YA novel. Now the summer's half gone and all I've managed to do is move two miles down the road and stare at my monitor a lot while listening to "Sweet Home Alabama" (yes, that's what's playing right now, I am a hick).

I have been doing loads of research, though, or so I call it when I feel guilty for sitting around reading Evermore or watching Make It Or Break It.

However, most of my days are spent across the pond in merry old England as I'm in the midst of making my way through The Other Boleyn Birl and catching up on Skins as I eagerly await the season three premiere on Thursday. I'm also watching The Tudors at bedtime and come to think of it, that might explain why I'm having such weird dreams lately.

Life in the UK sure has changed in 500 years. England in the 1500s seems like no place to be. Even if you're a courtier, life pretty much sucks and there's always someone scheming to take your place. Henry VIII is kind of a jerk, too, always sleeping around and ordering beheadings and hangings. I bet he'd be wearing Ed Hardy if he was alive today. I find it interesting that all the political tension and violence centers around religion, something true since the dawn of time, I suppose, and obviously true today. Makes you wonder if we'll ever all just get along.

Modern day Bristol, where Skins is set, is no picnic, either, come to think of it. If one thing hasn't changed, it's that where there's youth, there's drama. I'm going to miss Tony, Sid, Maxxie and Anwar as we head into a new series of the show with all new characters, save Effy. I'm sure the new lot have just as much trouble, angst, sex and sadness headed our way. I think Skins is one of the best shows to depict the realities of being a teen and of course it's all set to fab music.

I know my teen years seem a lot better in retrospect when replayed against a backdrop of The Cure, Bauhaus, et al. I can remember them as somehow rosy when I know they were really just a series of embarrassing events that included lots of boy rejection, watching kids blow pot smoke in a guinea pig's face, buying beer and driving my friend's mother's car when I was 15, sitting in the middle of the street drunk while Liz and Clint made out in the bushes, and so on and so forth. There were good times, though: running through the park at night, driving through downtown Dallas hopped up on speed listening to Guns n Roses, walking in on the panther backstage at the Motley Crue concert (my friend Steph was engaged to their pyro dude), the first time I heard Robert Smith's voice, putting baby powder on my face and laughing with my friend Amy about how we'd always want to look as pale and wan as possible.

Maybe someday I will capture these moments in words that make up a story that someone can read but in the meantime I'll just say goodbye on a night like this...

In The Last Nine Days...

I've...

Seen Star Trek. How can something that evokes nothing but heinous memories from childhood -- brothers made me watch it -- starring actors I don't care for at all, directed by a guy I thought I'd never forgive -- Cloverfield, anyone? -- be so damn good?!!

Watched Glee. God, I hope the rest of the series is even half as good. I downloaded the pilot from iTunes and I've swooned to the ending way more than once. Now you can, too.

Gone to New York for Sam Erickson's photo gallery show thingy of My Morning Jacket photos at The Morrison Hotel. Strange to see Tom on a wall but love Sam's work.

Eaten way too many of these. Unbelievable. Seriously. I worship at the altar of the Levain Bakery chocolate chip walnut cookie. Strangely, I've never even been there. I owe it all to the fabulous Chappell Ellison who delivers them from the wilds of the Upper West Side.

Been in the same place as Janeane Garofalo, Matt Dillon and Olivia Wilde. Of course, I saw none of them.

Read a lot of books featuring vampires. The Charlaine Harris and Rachel Caine kind.

And finally... bought a house. Well, we bought a house. A house that two weeks ago I'd never even laid eyes on. Do you ever have those magic moments where things just fall into place? It's crazytime... we weren't even really looking, but I was driving home one day, saw the sign, saw the house and now we're a few weeks away from closing. I'm still baffled as to how it all happened.

Oh wait, I've also watched the season premiere of So You think You Can Dance. w00t! Although, what on earth was Nigel thinking bagging on the two men who danced together? Way to sound like a homophobe, you moron. And Step Up 2: The Streets. It's about a million times better than the first one but let's face it, the barre was set pretty low. Barre... get it? Haw haw. Sigh...

Okay, just thought I should explain where I've been and stuff. Also, my last Twitter poll - would you rather be famous for dating Lindsay Lohan or because Kid Rock wrote a song about how you two had sex? - had voters conflicted but Lindsay ruled the roost in the end as no one, apparently, wants to do it with Kid Rock. One person was interested to hear the song he'd write, though. It's not hard to imagine, really.

And now I go to sleep because tomorrow brings another trip to my current Mecca, Home Depot. There are so many faucets! How do you decide on just one?!!!

Twilight's Last Gleaming

I chose this Twilight poster for my friend Jamie who complained that Kristen Stewart never smiled during the movie. I won't be tacky and say that this might be why.

MINOR SPOILER ALERT for all of you who haven't seen the movie based on Stephenie Meyer's engaging, though at times questionably written, series about the most perfect vampire that ever lived and the dopey beyond average girl he falls in love with.

I enjoyed the books and yes, I was excited about the movie, especially given the awesomeness of the trailers. I was also psyched to hear that Catherine Hardwicke had the biggest opening weekend of any female director as I quite liked Lords of Dogtown.

So, you know, boy was I bummed and all that Twilight pretty much sucked (no pun intended).

Some random thoughts:

I did not know that vampires constantly walked around looking bug eyed and constipated. I thought they were cooler than that.

The casting of Nikki Reed as Rosalie was a tragic mistake, especially considering how much that character figures into book four. Now I'm really not looking forward to that film. Seriously, they couldn't find any blonde actresses? Same goes for Peter Facinelli as Carlisle. Was Simon Baker not available? And egads, poor Jackson Rathbone. I swear he actually looks pretty cute in real life (or as real life as that photo is). I never imagined Jasper as some kind of mildly retarded mute.

I used to like Kristen Stewart (Panic Room, anyone?) but am now convinced she cannot complete a sentence. I saw her on Letterman last week and her performance there mirrored that of Bella just a little too closely.

I'm actually a bit surprised that Robert Pattinson (minus his diamond sparkly skin, yeesh) was the highlight here, but he pulled Edward off for the most part... and I liked his Volvo.

Tom thought Charlie was the best. Billy Burke reminded me of a young Tom Skerritt.

I was unhappy about the casting of Jacob, but Taylor Lautner grew on me. I'm looking forward to seeing him as a wolf... but I'm not sure I'm looking forward to New Moon.

So yes, after a five day absence I return to you, dear readers, to poo poo the Twilight. And to think, I could have been watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince! Damn you, Warner Bros.!

Good Reads

My friend Amanda just sent me to the coolest site. It's called Good Reads and you can set up a list you can share with friends (or enemies). Neato, huh? I sound like a Good Reads infomercial now.

Anyway, you can be my bookish bud and find out all about the teen fiction I read. Yes, it's true. It's research, people!

I am literate!
Ms. P

I Would Walk 500 Miles...

Or drive, rather. I just finished my 500 mile shift and after eight hours behind the wheel I've got the stares.

But it's nice to be a passenger as we finish listening to The Kid Stays in the Picture by Robert Evans. I've actually listened to this before, years ago, and wondered if I would still be enchanted by the old school producer's charm. You bet I am. I recommend this to anyone who enjoys Hollywood stories. This is one of the best. I don't even mind that he calls women "broads" or is a Republican.

We're making our way to Dullass. Good times. I'm going to return my attention to Evans and Castlevania Harmony of Dissonance now.

Monday Monday,
Ms. P

ps. I don't know what Mike Huckabee was talking about when he said he improved the roads in Arkansas because I'm bouncing around like a rag doll right now. Sheesh.

Things That Happen at 3 AM

I'm very fond of the F. Scott Fitzgerald quote, "In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning."

Sadly, I'm not fond of this because I just love The Crack Up, but because the line was featured in a Peanuts strip I read many moons ago.

Speaking of many moons... here's how my life has evolved at 3 am over the years:

Age 17 - at 3 am you would have found me, a fashionable high school dropout/homeless person, ingesting any number of drugs at any number of homes in downtown Dallas.

Age 27 - at 3 am you would have found me, a slightly less fashionable Los Angeleno, leaving the Silverlake nightclub I worked at and heading home to my groovy garage apartment in Atwater Village. Sometimes alone. Sometimes accompanied by a dopey musician whose intellect may have been sorely lacking.

Age 37 - at 3 am you would have found me, the word fashion no longer applying, last night, in bed in rural Kentucky with the husband and the dog, watching Simon & Simon after finishing Stephenie Meyer's Twilight.

Goodness. I don't know what to make of this. I meant for it to be amusing but man, does that not sound like the real dark night of the soul or what?!!

I cannot believe I used to love Simon & Simon. I had a crush on Jameson Parker and everything. However, last night's ep, "Trapdoors", featuring Robbie Rist (cousin Oliver from The Brady Bunch), as a delinquent youth who plays "Angels and Demons" (like Dungeons and Dragons, only better! Is this how Dan Brown got the name for his book?) and hacks into a local bank's computer to steal $740 (using a rotary phone and an old-school War Games era modem), was so horrifically bad I can only offer up the fact that I was 11 as an excuse. Also, my affections seem to have moved from JP to Gerald McRaney. He sure was clever and handsome as he tracked a kidnapper using only his wits and a super tacky directional mic that kept squealing with feedback.

Today I'm starting New Moon, the sequel to Twilight. I'm not sure how I feel about these books. They're fairly well written but sound like a 14-year old girl's idea of the perfect relationship (brilliantly gorgeous sophisticated 100-year old vampire falls in love with awkward and clumsy truck driving teenager and declares, "You are my life" after hanging out with her three times). As annoying as this is, I'm hooked and will see these glorious undead to their co-dependent conclusion. If there is one. I'm contemplating moving on to Anne Rice as I somehow bought but never read Interview With a Vampire and The Vampire Lestat. If anyone out there has any great vampire fiction recommendations, do let me know. Things I would do if I could live forever: learn German, Korean, Photoshop and how to use my SB-800. Am I the most boring person or what? I would totally squander eternal life, but I would be a damn good photographer by the end(less) of it!

Right now I'm watching the series finale of Extras. Again. God, this was depressing - a real slit your wrists episode - especially all those desperate scenes of Ashley Jensen cleaning toilets to Kate Bush's "This Woman's Work". Or wait, the Clive Owen scene might have been worse. I must say I loved the ending, though. Andy and Maggie fly off to the sea, fame be damned. I cannot help but heart Ricky Gervais.

However, before I went for grim and painful, I sat through How to Look Good Naked with Carson Kressly. This show is about a thousand times better than Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. CK is way more fun and there's no bitchy Veronica Webb making snooty comments about the clueless Bridge & Tunnel types they featured. This show is on Lifetime which triggers my automatic gag reflex, but I'll probably watch again.

Alrighty, I've blathered on quite enough on this dreary Saturday afternoon. Tom's gone off to Nashville to do more studio stuff for his record thingy so I'm left here to cuddle up with the tely and the garanimals.

A lovely weekend to you,
Ms. P

The LP Questionnaire - Ellen Emerson White

Ellen Emerson White is a wicked amazing writer. I've talked about EEW a few times here and there. I've been reading her books since I was a teen, and she's on any top authors list I'll ever make.

Last week I was thrilled to return to the world of Meg Powers and her complicated, interesting, and super smart First Family. Published a month and a half ago, White's latest book Long May She Reign arrived 18 years after its predecessor Long Live the Queen (the currently out of print President's Daughter series will be reissued next spring by Feiwel & Friends). It was a long wait, but oh was it worth it! LMSR beautifully captures the reality, wit, sadness, struggles and grace of Meg, the first daughter of the first female president, as she navigates her way back from the trauma of her recent kidnapping and harrowing escape. Though the book is marketed to the YA audience, LMSR is at times dark, always thoughtful, and its themes mature. I confess I cringed when someone on Amazon called it chick lit for the book is so much more than shopping and man problems (in fact, I don't think anyone shops at all. The president and her communications director, Preston, are rather snappy dressers, though).

I don't think there's anything I can write that will do Long May She Reign the justice it deserves. All I can offer is that I didn't reach the end until 5 am and instead of rushing towards the finish line so I could get some sleep, I started reading more and more slowly because I so didn't want it to be over. It wasn't just teenage nostalgia that kept me going, either.

Anyhoo, I mentioned recently that I was fortunate enough to meet Ms. White on a recent trip to New York (you all know I was there to see the hubs while he worked on some record thingy that will be out next spring! Or early summer). She is just as groovy as any of her characters, and I feel super chuffed to know her.

She was gracious enough to do The LP Questionnaire, so please enjoy and please check out any of her books you can get your hands on. They're well worth the read.

The photo is one White took of her pooch Maggie.

Name: Ellen Emerson White
Pro Wrestling Name: Jesus Pirate. Which suits me, don't you think? If I drop my middle name, I am Ass Kickin Rock (Meg turns out to be Evil Hercules, although if I drop her middle name, she is Mighty Punisher).

1. Pretend you're 15. Name three songs you'd put on a mix tape for your boyfriend/girlfriend (and tell us what year it is). What year it is? Never happen, GI. (Which dates me, in and of itself.) When I was 15, I probably would have picked The Eagles, "Hotel California," Steely Dan, "Peg," and The Rolling Stones, "Satisfaction."

2. Which evil villain would make the best President? The Mayor, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Sunnydale actually ran quite well--and he seemed to do an excellent job of maintaining property values, despite the very high death rate in town.

3. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? Felix the Cat and Mighty Mouse. I very much wanted to be Mighty Mouse. Or Underdog.

4. What superpower do you wish you had? I would like to know everything. Of course, it would be pleasant to be invincible, also.

5. What would the title of your autobiography be? It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

America's Next Top Blah-del

Is it terrible that I'm starting not to care about the girls of ANTM or is it a sign of my liberation from the tyranny of Tyra?

Tonight's episode was all about Heather! Heather bitching about her lovely dress, Heather stripping down and freaking out on Saleisha in the shower, Heather crying, Heather taking a shot that looks like she's on a toilet (but I thought her face looked cool, pose aside)...

Bianca, the snotty brat who can barely speak English, is seen laughing at Heather's humiliating critique after the runway challenge. As tacky as that seems, B telling H to get thicker skin... I agree with that. The fashion world is hardly known for being nice and if she wants to be a model she better get used to that sad little fact.

ANTM's manufactured reality is starting to get on my nerves (which makes my manufactured outrage pathetic). I might have od'ed watching all those marathons.

It's bye bye Ambreal as the girls are off to China. I have to say I'm liking Jenah. And why is Chantal so dumb? Way to be a stereotype.

Some non-ANTM-related thoughts:

I just finished 3rd Degree, the third Women's Murder Club novel, by James Patterson. This is a book so disposable I had to look up the title (even though I finished it not five hours ago). These books are like crack and, like all addictive drugs, the usual dosage just isn't cutting it anymore. Jill's murder, though shocking, barely made a dent in my brain. This is partly due to the fact that I refused to believe she was actually dead until the end of the book.

Here are two things that bothered me, though:
1. Patterson has Lt. Lindsay Boxer wearing a fanny pack. How on earth is she supposed to retain her dignity and save innocent victims while wearing a fanny pack??!! First the slacks, now this. Sigh.

2. 3rd Degree was written in this century. This means internet search engines and instant information are at anyone's fingertips (anyone meaning the SFPD, in this case). However, it took 229 pages before Boxer found out who August Spies (the name the terrorists were using - yes, it was about terrorism. Sort of ) was. I understand for drama's sake an author needs to reveal things at a certain pace or from a certain character, but come on... the cops just end up looking kind of dumb, right? Am I being too picky? I feel like I'm deconstructing a Jackie Collins novel or something.

Matt Damon has been named People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. I like Herr Damon and all, but really? Insert "______ wasn't available?" joke here.

For the men who read my blog (or the women who read my blog and know men), here are Giorgio Armani's 21 rules for achieving style and success. I think my favorite is #5: If you play sports intensively you will develop muscles in unusual places. Then you may have to consider bespoke tailoring. That's so amusing it doesn't even need a joke. I love Armani, though, which would probably embarrass him.

Project Runway starts tonight! Oh boy! You'll hear about episode one tomorrow, dahlings!

I'm mouth agape at the embarrassment that is the "Freebird" Guitar Hero scene in Gossip Girl. Serena twirling around while Dan lip-synchs? Yick. I thought MMJ doing Skynyrd in Elizabethtown was scary enough. However, the bar has been lowered so far now no one will be able to limbo under it.

Dinner time,
Ms. P

Damn You, James Patterson!

I've been watching Women's Murder Club and kind of enjoying it so I decided to read one of the books. I just finished 1st to Die and I kind of enjoyed it (a theme, you'll notice), but oooh, my little foot is stomping in anger at that ending! *Spoiler Alert, but the book came out five years ago so whatever.* I enjoyed the triple twist, but James, WHY DID YOU KILL CHRIS?! I'm assuming Lindsay goes back to partnering with Jacobi even though if he hadn't left his post (after she pleaded with him to stay there) her boyfriend/future second husband might still be alive. I was baffled that he was comforting her at the funeral because I would have been punching him in the face. Humf. Super humf. But I guess a happily married heroine doesn't make for fine drama. I get that. One other thing that bothered me about the book was how lovey dovey the women were. I have oodles of affection for my girlfriends, but I don't think I'm ruminating about how pretty and wonderful they are every five minutes. Also, I don't know any women in their mid-30s (which I'm assuming is Boxer's age range) who use the word "slacks". Not even back in 2002.

Okay, rant over. I promised newsiness...

Apparently it was a big conspiracy by Barack Obama supporters that kept Stephen Colbert off the Democratic ticket in South Carolina. Really, Barack supporters? Was he that much of a threat?

Rush Limbaugh went after another child today. Or, rather, he attempted to exploit the kid by calling out the Democrats who he said were... exploiting the kid. I try not to wish ill on anyone and frankly, Limbaugh is a waste of time, breath, energy, and words, but if he vanished tomorrow I might not be sad. Ditto Ann "The Man" Coulter. Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity may continue to exist. I guess. See, I'm not all bad. Wait. Maybe not Sean Hannity. Gee, this is a tough one.

Here's a handy list of TV shows that might be affected by the WGA strike. I have friends who are out there picketing so all I have to say is "Power to the People!!" Or something inspirational like that. I don't know much about protesting but did come up with some useful slogans for a friend of mine who one day dreams of picketing Heather "Only God Could Orchestrate Me Being Miss America" French Henry.

The initial numbers are in on the Radiohead In Rainbows experiment. I'm actually a little surprised that only 38% of people paid for the record. However, it was pointed out to me at lunch today that even with those numbers they'll still probably make more than what they would with a major label so I guess that's the real bummer. I think my hope is that this potential sales model would make the labels realize that the system, which has been going down in flames for the last several years, needs to rise from the ashes in a new way that benefits everyone a little more. Pie meet sky, right?

Lastly, apparently the Ten Commandments have been posted in the Capitol Rotunda. Please tell me we have a new gov. However, the last laugh will probably be on me as watch, Beshear will keep the display up, even though we know from those wonderful commercials that he worked hard to keep them out of the schools!

They've found another planet,
Ms. P

ps. I just turned on House and oh boy! The opening song is "One Big Holiday"! I knew they were using it but didn't realize it would air so soon. Does this mean I can meet Hugh Laurie? And steal his fork? My Morning Jacket and House. Neato!

Doing the (Book) Worm

I've been meaning to write about books for a bit and I'm finding myself lacking in wit today so why not discuss other people's writing instead of smacking ya upside the head with mine? I just realized that all rhymed in a really dorky way (which means it stays, oh God I did it again!)

Here are some favorites of mine (in no particular order):

1. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. I read this in the summer of '91 when I was in Germany (it was one of the only books in English at my friend's apartment). Owen and his thoughtful high-pitched voice still echo in my head. I didn't bother to see Simon Birch, though, because Irving painted such a wonderful picture of all the characters, and I worried any cinematic imaginings would have ruined it.

2. The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera. Also from the summer of '91, this time London. Kundera has a way of making every day life and the political struggles of Eastern Europe seem so fantastical. I went around saying "I'm Bobby Fischer!" for quite a while after reading this, though I probably just said it in my head... and either way that's perhaps a bit weird. Kundera also wrote another favorite of mine, Immortality (read in Alaska in the winter of '02).

3. His Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman. These are the best fantasy books I've read, though admittedly, I'm hardly an expert. Marketed as Harry Potter for adults or something equally stupid, The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass take us through multiple worlds and the coming of age of Lyra Belacqua and her daemon Pantalaimon. The books have been a source of controversy due to their criticism of Christianity and the Catholic church. One of Pullman's characters states that "the Christian religion... is a very powerful and convincing mistake, that's all." The movie might also be a mistake but I'm hoping it can live up to even a fraction of the magic.

4. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. Read on tour (I think it was the My Morning Jacket/Doves tour in 2002), Perks is a bit of a modern Catcher in the Rye but I found Charlie so much more endearing and sympathetic than Holden Caufield. The book brings back all of the joy and torment and emotional longing of being a teenager in a way that's not trite or overdone. I think a few of us read it in the van that fall and it was just a magical time all around (or that's how I experienced it, anyway).

5. Life Without Friends by Ellen Emerson White. I've mentioned White a couple times since I started writing this blog. I've been lucky enough to correspond with her a bit through her website and it's been very cool to connect with someone who had a profound effect on the ol' teen years (more exciting, even, than John Taylor from Duran Duran sending me flowers. Yes, it's true). White writes with a grace and humor that transcends the "young adult fiction" tag, and all of her characters are so darn intelligent and polite! Her new book, Long May She Reign, comes out on October 30. It's my most anticipated book of the year.

6. About a Boy by Nick Hornby. Both a better book and film than High Fidelity, I think this was Hornby's strongest effort. Follow Will and Marcus as they learn about life and each other! I bet you'll never read it now after that tacky synopsis. But seriously, About a Boy is English reserve and neurosis at its charming best.

Other favorites... I'm a big mystery fan and have read every book written by Robert Crais, Harlan Coben and Robert B. Parker. I also love the Jeeves series by P.G. Wodehouse (because as we've established, I love the Brits.) I read She's come Undone by Wally Lamb in one day and was amazed. The Secret History by Donna Tartt was interesting if not entirely likable (I developed a bit of a crush on Henry that pushed me through).

I must confess the classics tend to bore me (I have an affinity for Shakespeare but Hemingway makes me gag), and I read a lot of trash (Hello Jackie Collins!) but no matter what the genre, finishing a book is way more satisfying than finishing any TV show, which sounds so snooty, but it's true!

I'd like to include bookiness on a regular basis so I will save my chick-lit rant for another day.

What are some of your favorites? I'm always looking for something new, even though my "to read" list is about a mile long.

Hope your Saturday's swell,
Ms. P

ps. This picture is of an installation and exhibit that was at the 21c. Sadly, they're no longer there.

Hello Louisville!

I'm pretending I hear a crowd roaring back at me although I know that what I've probably got right now is my husband and a few friends wondering what the heck I'm doing blogging for all of Kentucky.

I did not expect to start the afternoon taking a hundred crappy pictures to get one semi-decent headshot. I am allergic to photographs of myself so it took a while. Also, shooting into a mirror isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I am now the proud owner of 57 shots of half my head and yes, I think I look like a jerk in this picture but they wouldn't let me wear a bunny mask.

What will make this Velocity blog worth reading? Well, I shall dare to impart all I know about Bret Michaels' dating show Rock of Love among other things. I would have written a grand synopsis of So You Think You Can Dance but lucky for you that show ended last week. I'm never so arrogant to think that anyone cares about what I'm watching, reading or what I ate for breakfast but I am opinionated and am overly fond of talking in a vacuum. People who know me will attest to the fact that they very rarely speak to me on the phone and that I love electronic communication. It would be easy to blame it on living in Crestwood but it's more that Crestwood provides an excellent excuse to hermit it up!

I moved to Kentucky three and a half years ago from Los Angeles and I'm hoping to use this platform to find out what Louisvillians think. It's definitely been a bit of a culture shock but at least growing up in Texas I had a bit of an idea of what I was in for. Kentucky pride runs rampant, though, and I'm interested to know what it's about. What am I missing out here in my Oldham County (the original OC! I was going to make t-shirts but then the show got canceled) oasis? This inquiring mind wants to know!

To wrap up, here are some quick useless facts and opinions:

Last three movies I saw: Superbad (Super uneven but super funny!), Stardust (Tristan is dreamy and DeNiro is a credit to transvestites everywhere!), Transformers (not quite more than meets the eye but I heart Bumblebee!)

Last three books I read (here is where I lie to look smarter): Stumbling on Happiness (Not quite finished but it's nice to know that happiness isn't real, it's just your brain messing with you), The Sugar Busters Diet (Did you know sugar is in almost everything? I just ate some Junior Mints so obviously the diet isn't going very well) and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Yes, I cried, but I won't spoil it for you).

Last three new(ish) songs I heard and didn't hate: "Fake Empire" by The National (Nick Cave with a hint of The Cure), "No Cars Go" by The Arcade Fire (is it embarrassing to not be cool and like them?) and, yes it's true, I really loved the theme song to the now canceled (and I'm quite sad about this) Hidden Palms. The song is called "Blind" and it's by the terribly named band Mega Bass.

Last three shows I watched on the DVR: Burn Notice (even though Gabrielle Anwar got kind of scary. Bruce Campbell rules!), Damages (even though Glenn Close got kind of scary. She still rules!) and (the aforementioned) Rock of Love (even though everyone on it is totally scary. Sleaze cheese rules!)

And what about you? What makes your pop culture heart swoon? I'm keeping it light for now but believe you me I will start griping about politics and the state of the world soon.

Next up: A comprehensive list of all the TV shows I am currently watching along with a thousand word essay on each describing why. Okay, not really, but I will share more television g(l)ory.

Parenthetically yours,
Ms. Park