Twilight's Last Gleaming

I chose this Twilight poster for my friend Jamie who complained that Kristen Stewart never smiled during the movie. I won't be tacky and say that this might be why.

MINOR SPOILER ALERT for all of you who haven't seen the movie based on Stephenie Meyer's engaging, though at times questionably written, series about the most perfect vampire that ever lived and the dopey beyond average girl he falls in love with.

I enjoyed the books and yes, I was excited about the movie, especially given the awesomeness of the trailers. I was also psyched to hear that Catherine Hardwicke had the biggest opening weekend of any female director as I quite liked Lords of Dogtown.

So, you know, boy was I bummed and all that Twilight pretty much sucked (no pun intended).

Some random thoughts:

I did not know that vampires constantly walked around looking bug eyed and constipated. I thought they were cooler than that.

The casting of Nikki Reed as Rosalie was a tragic mistake, especially considering how much that character figures into book four. Now I'm really not looking forward to that film. Seriously, they couldn't find any blonde actresses? Same goes for Peter Facinelli as Carlisle. Was Simon Baker not available? And egads, poor Jackson Rathbone. I swear he actually looks pretty cute in real life (or as real life as that photo is). I never imagined Jasper as some kind of mildly retarded mute.

I used to like Kristen Stewart (Panic Room, anyone?) but am now convinced she cannot complete a sentence. I saw her on Letterman last week and her performance there mirrored that of Bella just a little too closely.

I'm actually a bit surprised that Robert Pattinson (minus his diamond sparkly skin, yeesh) was the highlight here, but he pulled Edward off for the most part... and I liked his Volvo.

Tom thought Charlie was the best. Billy Burke reminded me of a young Tom Skerritt.

I was unhappy about the casting of Jacob, but Taylor Lautner grew on me. I'm looking forward to seeing him as a wolf... but I'm not sure I'm looking forward to New Moon.

So yes, after a five day absence I return to you, dear readers, to poo poo the Twilight. And to think, I could have been watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince! Damn you, Warner Bros.!

Iowa Caucus: They're not smitten with Mitten or clinging to Clinton

Mitt "Mitten" Romney got trounced. So, sort of, did Hillary Clinton. Mike Huckabee had Chuck Norris and his overly lifted eyes standing to the left AND right of him as he gave his Mr. Smith Goes to Washington victory speech. John Edwards bummed everyone out with his bizarro "Thanks for second place" proclamation (the stories about people who died from lack of health care didn't help, either). Dennis Kucinich got zero votes. Joe Biden got one.

I don't know what to make of this. I don't like Mike. I abhor Mitten. For some reason I like the Hills and tonight's other big winner Barack Obama sways me with his charm but not with his experience. Pins and needles til November is what it's looking like.

Back to my television comfort zone, TV... Linus Roache makes a nice addition to Law & Order. Jeremy Sisto, jury's still out, haw haw. Speaking of pins and needles, I haven't watched Project Runway yet (this season's contestants are so making me yawn) or Gossip Girl so nothing new to report on the trash front.

I confess I've spent my night in a haze of MSNBC and HTML. But now it's time for Twilight and we'll see if Edward turns Bella in the sunny meadow. If you've read it, don't tell me!

It ends at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue,
Ms. P