Things I've Done This Week

I went to see Ponyo. Not my favorite Hayao Miyazaki film but his retelling of The Little Mermaid is fairly delightful even though I think Sosuke's mother would have been reported to child services at some point for all that reckless driving... and leaving a five year old alone in the middle of a typhoon.




I also saw District 9. I'm sort of maniacal about spoilers so I didn't know much about it and suspected it might be some sort of Cloverfield-esque piece of poo. Oh how wrong I was. Strangely, I think I liked D9 more than anyone else I know that's seen it. The joy of reduced expectations, I suspect. The film also made me cry more than once. I'm really just... getting to the point of head asplode over how we treat each other and even though it was just a movie, I sat there thinking, "Well, of course this is what would happen."




I finished reading Phillipa Gregory's The Other Boleyn Girl. It was a bit of a chore getting to the finish of a 600+ page book when I knew how it ended, but the detail of life in Tudor England was beautifully done. I mentioned in another post what a jerk Henry VIII was. I sort of reveled in his piggish decline as the book wound down and his madness escalated. Next on the reading list: getting back to Anne Perry's William Monk series and checking out Stieg Larsson's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo which comes highly recommended by a trusted friend.




Let's see, what else? I got called one of "Obama's Youth" and a communist in one sentence by someone I know and like. He wondered if I was reporting dissidents to the Kremlin (White House) over health care reform. So that was fun.




And finally, I watched both the Project Runway All Star Challenge and the premiere of season 6 last night. The All Star Challenge was a bit disappointing. I wanted Sweet P to win and couldn't believe they chose Daniel Vosovic for two reasons: that athletic shirt/bubble skirt combo seemed ridiculous and his restaurant dress with the vertical black tubing across the midriff looked like he was going for some sort of suicide bomber chic. Still, Daniel was the least annoying of the bunch and I was reminded how much I do not miss Korto, Jeffrey and, of course, Santino, who was so awful Tim Gunn said he contemplated cyanide.

As for season 6, there are so many contestants it's hard to tell where the show's headed. Already we have this season's Ricky Lizalde in the form of Johnny Sakalis, the ex-addict who spent much of the episode in tears. I think the irony is lost on no one that Ari Fish got the auf wiedersehen as she's a dead ringer for guest judge Lindsay Lohan's on again/off again girlfriend Samantha Ronson. I mean, they auf'ed her in favor of a dude who sent his model down the runway in a beige chiffon tent. A look deemed "unwearable" by the judges. La Lohan made for an opinionated judge. I guess designing leggings has really made her an expert in sartorial critique. My favorite looks of the night came from gender bending Malvin Vien and Kohl's designer Ra'mon-Lawrence Coleman. Why the judges loved this thing, I have no idea. Then again, Tom kind of liked it, too, so maybe it's just me.

Ok... that's it for this week in the life of LP. I read this morning that Trinny & Susannah have a new show on TLC that starts tonight. Oh yes, I am very pleased about this.

Is there anything I'm missing out on? Book, film and TV suggestions are always appreciated. Oh, I also watched Mad Men for the first time ever, but since the theme song was my favorite part of the show I figured it's best not to discuss and irritate all my MM loving friends.

How to Handle Tonight's Dilemma... Project Runway or The Presidential Debate

From Mark Caro at The Chicago Tribune.

(Thanks, Jill!)

Sarah Palin on Facebook, Kurt Cobain's Ashes and Kenley Collins is Still a Butthead

This is highly amusing.

By the way, for my Project Runway friends out there. I did watch this week. What was up with all the damn crying?!! Kenley is still a bitch. Quelle surprise. She'll probably win. Not sure I'd ever want to wear a skintight mock turtleneck dress with scales at the bottom but what do I know?

RIP Mr. Clean.

What else... this is disgusting. A friend said he thought he could never muster up sympathy for Courtney Love again until he saw this. Poor Kurt Cobain.

Ok, that is all,
M. P

Tim Gunn on Craig Ferguson

And Tim and Craig on Kenley. BRILLIANT!

Thanks, Ro.

Suede on Suede

"It's fun, it's not meant to be taken so seriously, it's cheeky, and let's face it, we're living in a world right now where the economy has gone into hell in a hand basket, our environment is in a lot of trouble, and the world is just not a great place, we're still at war. If I can throw some humor out of speaking in third person, it's really not that serious, and I think we have a lot bigger issues in this world to worry about than what tense I'm speaking in." — Project Runway's Suede

I knew this would happen. I bitched and moaned about Suede talking about Suede and now I'm all like "I heart Suede." He seems so harmless and sweet in the face of Kenley's evil laughter.

I'm home. It's so great to sit in my house and not have to drive anywhere except to the vet. repeatedly. because like a fool I went out and got a puppy yesterday. But look! Totally worth it, right?

Now I have to catch up on Heroes, politics and Gossip Girl...

More on my trip later. Exciting stories to share about jerks on planes and flying with the University of Denver Golf team.

So very tired,
M. P

America's Next Top Model Followed By Project Runway

Was not a good idea tonight.

My head hurts.

Were those not the worst makeovers ever on America's Next Top Model? Poor McKay! Or McKey! Or whatever her name is... I wonder if they'll let her be Britney again now that the other Britneys are gone. Or is it Brittany?

As for Project Runway...

Kenley IS GETTING ON MY LAST NERVE. No wonder she's had a lot of jobs. She's nutso! I love how many people Google "Kenley Collins is a bitch" and hit my blog. Seriously. It happens at least once a week and three times tonight. And Cynthia Rowley is on crack for liking that stupid beige belt. There, I said it!

I wonder if Joe's going to get cut because he's being all hetero and missing his kids and stuff and his misshapen suit looks like something you'd find at Wal-Mart.

This is what I got my power back for?!! Really. Korto and Leanne aren't worth discussing. Suede's dress wasn't bad, but no photographer could ever shoot in that thing.

Thank God Jerrell won (pictured above) if only because that meant Kenley didn't.

It's auf wiedersehen Joe (boy, did I call that one) as Suede is spared and no one's crying for the straight man.

I'm off to California tomorrow! Berkeley! LA! Beck! MGMT! Hollywood Bowl! MMJ at The Greek! San Diego! Camarillo! Real Food Daily! House of Vege! Cupcakes! Okay, I'll stop now!

Me Go Sleep Now,
M. P

In the Land of Women, Project Runway and ANTM

I'm sitting here watching In the Land of Women.

I can't figure out why.

Did anyone else see this? Were you baffled, too? It's like watching a bunch of strange looking strangely behaving thin people dance around Adam Brody.

Bizarre.

Also, I caught up on Project Runway and America's Next Top Model tonight. Neither were particularly baffling but they were equally annoying.

How Kenley survived after being a) a major biyaatch and b) designing that monstrosity (pictured), I do not know. Oh wait, I do know... it's because Blayne's pooping fabric and Terri's cheap ass lion dress were ten times worse!!

As for ANTM, Sheena the asian girl and her fake boobs are still bumming me out.

Meg Ryan, where did ye go,
MP

ps. for more Project Runway, see Bravo TV.com

Project Runway Episode 7 - No Cars Go

I don't know what this week's ep is titled but that's my favorite Arcade Fire song. Okay, that's the only Arcade Fire song I really like. Oh... they called it "Fashion that Drives You." That's not fun!

I haven't seen tonight's PR because I'm too busy obsessing over Chris Matthews' windswept hair.

However, my pal Maisy wrote up a nice little review so check hers out.

Project Runway - Episode 5 - Welcome to the Jungle (Better Late Than Never Edition)

Sorry sorry! I've been in an Olympics stupor and am just sitting down to Project Runway.

Daniel ensures us that there's no way he'll be in the bottom 3 which guarantees that, of course, he will.

Blayne trills, "Team Dramalicious" and thus episode 5 begins.

Brooke Shields is on hand to judge the contestants as they design an outfit based on her Lipstick Jungle character, Wendy Healy. The winning design will be featured the show (which is a bore, by the way).

Suede just said, "I"!!!! OMG! Did the world just end?

The designers work in pairs so that should be lots of fun as you know half of them aren't going to get along. After showing Brooke their initial designs, she chooses Keith, Korto, Jerrell, Kelli, Terri and Blayne to create their designs.

Then we're treated to 30 minutes of mudslinging, including Terri pondering whether or not Suede has "balls or a vajayjay" and referring to herself in the third person. I guess hanging out with Suede is having a Suede effect on her.

Kelli talks about her disabled grandmother and how having a piece on Lipstick Jungle would make her really proud which means we'll be saying bye bye Kelli at the end of the show.

Tim no longer wants to say, "Holla at ya boy."

And it's runway time!

Keith and Kenley. K&K come up with a pretty groovy design that translates nicely from day to evening (see photo above). Everyone's in love with their sophisticated South Beach meets Midtown vibe.

Korto and Joe. Korto seems happy with her puffy sleeved African inspired jacket. Did Joe make that ill-fitting khaki dress? Why am I the only person who hates khaki?!!

Jerrell and Stella. While I don't love Jerrell's color/print choices, I think I like his ensemble the best. It's Heidi's favorite, too, and she and Brooke disagree about the belt.

Kelli and Daniel. Daniel thinks their outfit looks Dynasty." The shape of it, I feel, is the truly unfortunate part," says Brooke. "HELLOOO! Slutty, slutty, slutty!," exclaims Michael. Daniel says he has impeccable taste and Kenley laughs in his face. Now I know why someone hit my blog last night Googling "Kenley Collins is a bitch."

Terri and Suede. Earlier in the show Terri commented that her shirt was jacked. She was right, but it's good enough to get her through.

Blayne and Jennifer. B&J's outfit looks good... for a 20-year old. Heidi says, "She looks like she's a woman who didn't have a mirror." Blayne falls on the knife and admits he should be the one to go home if one of them were to get auf'ed. Jennifer agrees but apologizes. I'm kind of respecting Blayne right now even though Brooke calls him "kind of bratty." I wonder if he's watching this at home right now crying because BS dissed him.

Keith (and Kenley) win. And oh, how the show is becoming predictable as it's bye bye Kelli as Jerrell and Stella are in tears over her departure.

Woo hoo! Next week is drag queen design!

"It's a pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park!"
Ms. P

Project Runway - Episode 4

Apparently every episode of Project Runway must now feature:

Joe showing how not gay he is.
Suede referring to himself in the third person.
Stella saying, "I love leatha."
Blayne discussing his stupid tan. How he managed to avoid saying "-licious" this week is beyond me. Or did he and I missed it?

I'm seriously falling asleep here.

The designers are challenged with creating an outfit for the US Olympic athletes to wear at the opening ceremony in Beijing. Apollo Anton Ohno is the guest judge. That makes a lot of sense since he's a WINTER games athlete... but okay.

Since I just wrote a marathon So You Think You Can Dance post, I'm just going to cover the runway.

Joe's USA skort is actually the most sporty spice thing on the runway. Does this mean skorts are coming back? Egads. Joe had a mini-hetero meltdown earlier where he complained that there were too many queens around. Umm, what show did he think he was auditioning for?

I don't hate Blayne's off the shoulder ensemble. I did hate saying that, though. Blayne doesn't know what Sgt Pepper is, but he made Tim say "holla at ya boy" again. It wasn't as funny this time.

Daniel's dress looks more like something a flight attendant in the 50s would wear. Or is that some other era I'm reminded of? Roseana should be able to tell me. Apparently, according to Michael, it's from the Republic of Cocktail Land.

Jennifer designs something kind of cute. How it relates to the Olympics in any way, shape or form, I have no idea. Apollo says he cannot walk tall, strong and proud in that girly frock.

I'm not even going to talk about Jerrell. And whatever the hell that is (see photo above).

Ditto Keith.
These designers must not watch the Olympics. Is that a given? Kelli's 60s housewife getup is just bizarre. What decade are we in? I wonder and so does Korto. We live in '08! Yeah!

Crikey, did anyone get a glimpse of Laura Bennett's Supermom getup that was inspired by the Saturn Outlook? I'm sure I'll be seeing that on all the minivan'ed soccer moms at Springhurst next week.

Kenley's outfit is not only completely unathletic, it's also fug to the max. She's lucky she has immunity.

Korto really likes those flowing pants, doesn't she? Heidi thinks those flowing pants are going to make America proud!

Leanne... is boring me, but her outfit looks well made.

God bless Stella. If the Olympics are ever in space she is so there. She says, "It represents the country in a bad ass way." Indeed.

Suede's outfit is just suedetastic! Not! I'm bringing back the "not" joke. Tell your friends.

I would be impressed by Terri's outfit if it didn't have that neck thing. Apollo says he "loves the colors." Umm, they're red, white and blue. Duh!

Korto is tonight's big winner and it's auf wiedersehen Jennifer.

Ta ta lovelies,
Ms. P

ps. OMG Brooke Shields is on next week! Whee!

Project Runway - Episode 3

There seems to be a consensus among my friends and I that we aren't overly impressed by this season's competitors. I'm not sure if it's because Bravo is casting for drama or if PR is an idea that may be running itself out (see: the last cycle of America's Next Top Model.)

Okay, when is someone gonna punch Suede in Suede's annoying little mouth? I hate to advocate violence, and I hate that Suede talking about Suede in the third person is getting under my skin. I think next week's challenge should be making gags for Suede and Blayne.

I read an interview with Christian Siriano recently where he expressed distaste for Blayne's efforts in turning "--licious" into a catchphrase. "Do not even try to steal my fierce thunder, bitch!" is what I imagine him saying. What he actually said was, "I can't listen to somebody say 'licious' all day long to get it popular. It's not funny to me. I really just can't hear that."

Tonight's challenge is New York at night serving as inspiration for an outfit for a night out on the town. The contestants get dropped off at various locations in the city and start snapping away.

Emily was inspired by money, movement, energy and something else. People, I think. I don't know what people are going to be excited by her bizarro orange ruffle. The judges certainly aren't.

Jennifer takes a picture of a clock for "the city that never sleeps." Daniel says her resulting dress looks matronly. I wonder if J's run out of time here... haw haw.

Daniel's in his zone taking a picture of a wet shadow. His work is passable and clearly represents the picture and his point of view.

Blayne asks if there's a tanning salon nearby and ends up with some psychedelic gel projector looking photograph. His dress (see photo at right) is fug. I don't even know what that is... some sort of spandex figure skating costume from an 80s Ice Capades show, maybe?

Stella can't figure out how to use her camera but says, "I am rock and roll. And I'm gonna die being rock and roll and if you don't like it get the %*$! outta here." I like the way the end of her statement drifted off into a Joe Pesci-like whine. She's chosen a photo of a studded horse blinder and her "gay little grommet" hammering is pissing everyone off, but I like the final result. It's a bit trashy but so is Stella. In a good way.

Kelli shoots a Mad Max-esque fire hydrant. Her resulting dress is definitely Mad Max. Not sure it shouts "will put out fire," though.

Terri gets grafitti. Blurry grafitti. Her dress looks like a Monet (in both senses of the word). Not sure what those pants were all about. Guest judge Sandra Bernhard (who looks totally scary now she's had so much plastic surgery) wrote "Fierce, sexy and in control. I have a knife and I will cut you up!" Okay!

Keith likes the colors on some building (but uses a ruined wet magazine cover) and talks about how it's tough being gay in Salt Lake City. I bet. His model drops out, but as Keith opines, "You have to make it work. You have to create killer fashion." Too bad the judges don't think so, and Michael Kors says, "It literally looked like toilet paper caught in a windstorm."

I can't tell what Kenley's shot. She's too busy bitching about Keith. Oh, it's a map and her fabric looks nothing like it. The final look... hahaha... yeah (see photo at top). Oh my God, the judges like it?! Sigh.

Jerrell's wearing a facial mask. He took a picture of a fountain. His dress is olive green and has a ruffled train. I don't understand the leap, but he designs for Saudi royalty so what do I know, right?

Joe shoots a lighting fixture. How very hetero. The resulting dress gets him to the next round, but I can't say I'm excited about it.

Suede "is here to rock it" and is "working with a shirtdress silhouette." I can practically hear the producers off-screen going "use the third person more! More! MORE!!!!" It's not... awful, but he's worried it doesn't represent New York.

Korto designed a black jumpsuit. A boring. Black. Jumpsuit... that's based on... God only knows what. I don't know who's going out on the town in these outfits. I'm perturbed.

Leanne's dress looks interesting. Not sure how it represents architectural tree planter yet, but we'll see. The skirt is beautiful but the top sort of ruins it for me. Heidi would wear it, though, and MK loves that it's separates because "let's be honest, people don't wear dresses every day of their lives!"

At one point tonight Tim said, "Choose a way." I like "Make it work" better. Hilariously, we got to hear T perplexedly exclaim, "Holla at ya boy!" I think I've found my new voicemail message.

Kenley and her stupid tulle bubble skirt win (which is further proof this show has gone off the rails). Emily and her poorly placed ruffle are out. K looks angry. I'm not sure why they keep showing her and her mopey face as they bid farewell to E. Are they dating now? Beware the PR hookup! Last week Wesley (who's dating Daniel) got auf'ed and now this? I'm not trying to start rumors (well, not really, anyway), I just don't understand those shots. She won. She should be thrilled, right?!

Oh, and I didn't write about last week's So You Think You Can Dance because I was so shocked about Will's departure I didn't know what to say. Also, I was tired and had to wake up at 4.30 am last Thursday so I could go to Whistler, inhale dust and scramble around on a mountaintop. I will recap tonight and tomorrow's show after this week's results are in.

Toodles!
Ms. P

Project Runway - Episode 2

"Any decision that's not Suede going home is the right decision." - err, Suede.

The show opens with Suede talking about himself in the third person and Stella drinking grass.

I just noticed that Suede has a blue tail to go with his blue fauxhawk. Thank God he's rocking not one, but TWO tired hair trends.

Stella needs to work on her addiction to white eyeliner. Otherwise, I kind of like her.

Tonight's challenge is green materials used to make a cocktail dress for the models... who will do the shopping. The designers look like they're going to have a coronary so that's fun.

The models return from Mood and the contestants look suitably disgusted with the exception of Son of Jerrel.

"This is the outside of the dress? O - ohhh." - Tim Gunn (who followed that using the phrase "hot mess)

Suede is a bisexual Sagittarius. People are starting to complain about him talking in the third person... which is just going to make him do it more.

Blayne the Orange made up some new "---- licious" word. I really wish he would stop trying to be Christian. It's grody.

Lots of similar fabrics and some similar design going on. No immunity for this challenge, but the winner gets their dress manufactured and sold on Bluefly.com.

What happened to Tim's "It looks like a pink pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park" line? I was really looking forward to that zinger.

It's runway time...

The special guest judge is Natalie Portman. "She's the last person I would imagine being on Project Runway," says Tom, but she's here to hawk her new eco-friendly vegan shoe line.

Keith is stoked about his gold drapery point of view.

Terri is proud of her ruffled navy pencil-skirted yawn.

Wesley wishes he could have worked out the fit on his, well, I don't know what that is. "This looks like 20 sets of human hands touched it." - Michael Kors

Jerrell's streetwalker ensemble doesn't fit in the bust, not that there's much of one.

Jennifer's eye for the floaty continues to impress me.

Daniel's happy, but I'm not sure about what. I'm reminded of an oil spill for some reason.

Joe thinks he nailed his bronze party concoction. I confess I'm sort of intrigued by the sci-fi looking circle in the center. I expected it to light up and call the mother ship.

Suede thinks his young Hollywood confection would look great on a red carpet. A red carpet in hell, maybe. The judges are falling all over themselves over it. I'm going to barf.

Kenley came up with something... interesting. It's Tom's favorite and definitely the most well made of the show.

Kelli... well, Kelli's lucky she has immunity.

Leanne has the third bronze dress to come down the runway. Or is it the fourth? Does it matter? Her outfit reminds of dripping molasses. She really is the silent fashion assassin as she's just murdered that dress.

Stella's champagne rock frock is one of my faves so far (although I do wonder how one would sit in it without pulling a Paris/Lindsay/Britney). The judges are impressed that she put her own style into it, and without leather!

It pains me to say this, but I don't completely hate Blayne's dress.

Emily is really excited about her ultra short minidress. I'm... less so.

Korto thinks her dress is elegant. However, Michael says, "Curvy girls, they don't want fins off their butt."

And the winner is... Suede. Um, I'm seriously tempted to stop watching this show now. Are the judges blind or am I?! I really want to see Natalie Portman in that thing.

It's auf wiedersehen to Wesley. Drat. I'm really going to miss his shorts combos.

Lots of crying tonight. Already?!

And so it goes,
Ms. P

Recent Google Searches and Mamma Mia!

I am amused daily by the Google searches that lead to my blog...

A smattering of recent gems:

"Jerelll Scott is hot." Wow. Really?!!! He thinks too much of himself to be hot in my eyes, but okay.

I'm still getting "Does Bret Michaels wear a wig?" Yes, that shiny plastic Barbie hair coming out of his bandana is totally real. I'm sure of it.

Loads of hits for Lil' C's words of wisdom on last week's So You Think You Can Dance so I guess it bears repeating: "It's really difficult to locate the avenue of gain when you're being chauffeured by loss." So very true. Maybe he was talking about Bret Michaels' hair.

Quite a few "naked women in Kentucky's" lately. Not sure I really understand that one. It feels so random. I mean, wouldn't being more specific, like, "naked women in Paducah" seem more helpful?

And finally, "women who love men who can dance freestyle rock roll sex." I like how the second search result is, "The Top 10 Rock Songs Black People Love, a Post Written by a Black Person."

I'm running the Mamma Mia! trailer above because:

a) I saw Mamma Mia! last night.

b) When joyful, it was most excellent.

c) Colin Firth rules.

d) Meryl Streep can do anything.

e) Stellan Skarsgard in spandex singing "Waterloo" will be imprinted on my brain forever.

The downside, the film feels uneven and I wasn't overly fond of Amanda Seyfried's performance (although she looked great and her singing voice is quite passable).

I have a dream, a song to sing,

Ms. P

Project Runway - Episode 1

We're all pysched for season 5 of Project Runway, right? Season 4 lacked a bit of drama, and there are maybe two frocks that I even remember so let's hope that this fifth go round, and the last in NYC (can you believe they're going to Los Angeles AND Lifetime next year? I'm still shaking my head), fashionably delivers the goods.

We're introduced to the contestants and then omg! here comes Austin Scarlett to welcome the boys and girls to Gristede's for the grocery store challenge.

I see someone purchasing bell peppers and kale... okay... Tim tells the group they're a bunch of slackers after witnessing tablecloth after tablecloth on the dress forms. Tee hee.

Also, can I just say that I would like a Bluefly.com accessory wall? I'm sure they'd give me one once they saw how fashionable I am (not).

Random thoughts on the designers and their episode 1 creations...

Jerrell Scott. Son of Jerell needs to button his shirt. He says he designs for celebrities and Saudi royalty. I say that's a pretty broad statement. I hope I never see his umbrella drink accented dress on either. Also, his TG impersonation blows.

Blayne Walsh. The self-confesssed tanning junkie makes me wonder how orange he'll be by the time he's auf wiedersehen'ed? At first glance his "girlicious" garment looks disturbing (Michael Kors said it looked like the model had on a diaper). His personality reminds me of Vincent the Insane from season 3. Oh dear God, he's a barista in real life.

Joe Faris. The hetero guy with facial hair. Who was last season's? Kevin or something? Zzzz... He put pasta on a skirt and made a halter out of an oven mitt. How very... Betty Crocker.

Stella Zotis. The female Jeffrey Sebelia. "Tim, I have a dilemma. I have picked a garbage bag." So maybe the female JS doesn't recreate his success. I once wore a garbage bag to a seventh grade social. Seriously.

Jennifer Diedrich. She seems a little boring and greets Tim in a towel, but her clothes look beautiful and her white ruffled minidress made out of paper towels is pretty cute and seems fairly wearable, although not by me... especially with those lipstick smooches on it.

Kelli Martin. The punk rock boutique owner with requisite tattoos, she made a dress out of burnt coffee filters and vacuum bag cleaners with hook and eye closures made out of a spiral notebook wire that equals ugly halter, but beautiful skirt.

Terri Stevens. She works fast but fast doesn't mean good. I swear I saw a mesh catsuit in her portfolio. However, I might be swayed by the fact that she crocheted a mop as part of her ensemble.

Jerry Tam. Oooh, interesting Asian minimalist. His concept of April Showers sounds good, but... well... I hope the judges will be fooled... oops, they're not. They think it looks like a serial killer's outfit (see above) and a "handiwipe gone wrong."

Suede. Not only am I irked that someone who is 37 years old would call himself "Suede," Suede talks about himself in the third person ("Suede needed to make miillions for Suede") so of course I hate him already. Suede's blue and golden blond (in honor of the the Cub Scouts? Notre Dame?) fauxhawk is stupid. Suede has been cast for drama, but he doesn't seem as interesting as Christian or Santino. More Wendy Pepper. I mean, a picnic tablecloth and doggie bags?!

Emily Brandle. Emily owns a company called Smoke and Mirrors Clothing and is here "to do a job" and she's "gonna do it." Well, I don't know if this is "it" but I sure hope not. Can someone please tell me what this is? She thinks it's forward and wearable. I'm not so sure.

Keith Bryce. KB says he designs his "urban and a little bit raw" fashions with Heidi in mind. He also says he was born with his "gift" that others train for years to attain. Good for him. He's fashioning something possibly interesting except that he, too, is using a tablecloth du picnic.

Kenley Collins. She says her aesthetic is "loud" while wearing an orange dress with a giant bright yellow flower in her hair. At least she's self-aware, and true to form her first frock made out of dodgeball and lawn chair is... slightly architectural and slightly deafening.

Daniel Field. The second coming of Malan Breton or Daniel Vosovic? He put together an interesting strapless concoction out of plastic cups so maybe he's more like the second coming of Mychael Knight, who did the ultra fab coffee filter dress, and has apparently now changed the spelling of his name to Mychael. Umm.. yeah...

Korto Momolu. Liberian Korto now lives in, err, Little Rock, Arkansas. Poor thing. Korto's salad neckpiece has her "praying the tomatoes stay in place." Her sunny vegetable couture with tomato brooches (she called them broaches) is good enough to put her in contention as a possible winner for the challenge. Austin calls the veggies "alive fresh grocery product."

Leanne Marshall. The silent fashion assassin? Okay, I almost liked this Feist lookalike until she said that... and had a marshmallow covered pink thing come walking down the runway.

Wesley Nault: Wesley worked for Marc Jacobs, thinks highly of himself, and uses fur so whatever. His blindingly yellow fly swatter whatever that is = meh.

Kelli (and her coffee filtered bust) is the big winner and Jerry's out. Asians won't be representin' this season. Bummer. I mean, what's wrong with serial killers?!

Speaking of killers, I wonder if Tim Gunn off'ed anyone with that champagne cork.

On another note, I can't be the only person excited about Mamma Mia!, right? Right?!

It's 2 am and I'm watching Dracula 2000. It's amazing that Gerard Butler, Jonny Lee Miller, Christopher Plummer, Jennifer Esposito, Jeri Ryan, Danny Masterson, Nathan Fillion and Omar Epps were all this desperate in the Y2K.

Power-saw to the people,
Ms. P

Project Runway Starts Tonight!

Or, started...

Here's an exclusive preview!!



Enjoy!
Ms. P

ps. Okay, so the real PR post is coming tomorrow. I'm still trying to finish watching So You Think You Can Dance.

Project Runway Reunion

Yes, people, this is how behind I am in my life.

I'm watching the Project Runway reunion.

Ricky still wears stupid hats. They show a montage of him crying. That's awesome. I was really missing that.

Victorya still has a stick up her ass (but so do I most of the time. Is this a Korean thing I don't know about?)

Elisa's still from outer space.

Christian's hair is stranger than ever.

The ex-model whose name I can't be bothered to remember is crying and whining. Everyone else is pretending they missed her when she got dumped from the show.

Hrm... Jillian appears to have more personality than she let on.

Sweet P says her wrestling move is to get people in a headlock with her thighs and break their neck. Okay...

Heidi Klum is kooky, but like my friend Jamie says, "in a good way."

They just showed a picture of Michael Kors when he was 18. It's kickass how uncool he was.

The fan favorite designer, by a landslide believe it or not, is... Christian Siriano. Not surprising, I guess, considering he was the only one with a personality (even if it was questionable half the time).

And lookie, there's Michael Knight!

Speaking of knight, goodnight,
Ms. P

SXSW

I am now blogging for South by Southwest, as well our fabulous Velocity.

Yes, I am crazy.

Also, to those of you who click through here from the SXSW site, please be assured that the opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone.

I hope everyone is having a splendid Valentine's Day. Tom bought me a Kathleen Lolley painting and sent me Vera Wang flowers. I think Vera Wang is taking over the world or something.

I was so beat from work I couldn't manage to stay awake to find out who made it to the final three of Project Runway! All I saw as I was drifting to sleep was some crazy black concoction that Christian came up with. Sigh.

Hope your hearts are sweet,
Ms. P

Project Runway: Jazzin' for Blue Jean

Also: The Westboro Baptist Lunatics and Australian Open (old) news to follow...

On tonight's Project Runway the designers were challenged to re-imagine Levi's 501 jeans. We learn a bit more about the contestants - Rami survived the rigors growing up in Israel by sketching clothes, Victorya's mother made her whatever she wanted. My friend Priscilla mentioned that V rolls her eyes a lot, and it's funny - the one flashback clip they showed had them heading to heaven. Twice. In 15 seconds. Believe it or not someone's crying, and it's not Ricky (Jillian keeps pricking her finger on the sewing machine, and she's losing it. Quelle tragedie!) Speaking of Ricky, Christian is irked that RL and his stupid hats are still around. He thinks Ricky should have gone home instead of Kit. Can't say I disagree.

We're back to snoozeville here come runway time. I really hope they find more interesting designers next year. Ricky's cocktail dress isn't ... bad. Oh God. Cue waterworks. They like his work, and he's still in tears! Sheesh. Sweet P's modern patchwork was chic (and Michael Kors agreed). As for Victorya, was that skirt pleated or gathered or both? What was that? Besides lame, I mean. Rami's look is, of course, high end. For some reason I'm reminded of a classier Jeffrey Sebelia (perhaps because of the zippers on the outside of the dress). Christian loves the 80s. He just cannot help himself. I will give him props for creativity for adding the motocross jacket sleeves to the bottom of the jeans. Jillian maybe needed a poke in the head instead. Her jacket thing with the ruffled denim cuffs is strange at best. I don't even understand those red tabs on the shoulders. They look like little post its or something.

It's judgment time... well, bye bye Korea. Victorya's eyes will roll no more as Jillian lives to see another day. Ricky actually won, and I imagine his triumph probably has him in the fetal position by now. That guy needs to buy stock in Kleenex.

I'm still po'ed about the Westboro (not officially a) Baptist Church Heath Ledger protest. I did a bit of reading up on these nutjobs and it turns out they're the same losers who picket American soldier funerals (because apparently fighting in Iraq is the same thing as being a "fag enabler"). These inbred idiots (they're not allowed to marry outside the church and since the church is comprised of three families and some pathetic stragglers, they give new life to the term "kissing cousins") need to learn to do something constructive with their time. Like, oh say, campaign for Mike Huckabee.

On the bright side, Al Gore announced today that he supports the legalization of gay marriage. I think this all but insures us that he's not running for president.

I missed some great Australian Open matches that bid farewell to Justine Henin, Venus and Serena Williams, and David Ferrer. Maria Sharapova's going to the final against, it looks like, Daniela Hantuchova (who's busy pummeling Ana Ivanovic while I write). Since I can't stand Sharapova and don't care about Hantuchova, I'm no longer interested in the women's draw. Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal are still in it on the men's side so I'll remain curious, especially if it's a Nadal vs Federer final. Even a Nadal/Djokovic final would be cool. Perhaps Djok can win his first slam - he's certainly deserving (and I love his lampooning of Sharapova. Grudging respect to her for liking it, too).

Okay, it's sleepy time,
Ms. P

Project Runway: Back in Style

I've been disappointed by nearly every episode of Project Runway this season. I don't know if it's because the designers are lacking in personality or the garments are. Perhaps a bit of both. However, they turned it around last night with a bit of a weak challenge that produced excellent results. Or, rather, I thought basing the challenge around a hairstyle was a bit lame but letting the designers go avant garde worked really well.

The contestants worked in teams to create one couture-esque piece and one ready to wear based on the original garment. Christian and Chris created an amazing ruffled organza full length dress with what appeared to be a giant fan coming off the left shoulder. Chris joked that he was building a cell phone tower so they could call out when he was making it. As you can see by the photo, it was very involved. Their ready to wear piece bit it, I think, but who cares when the dress was such a stunner.

Rami (who came off like a sexist control freak) was paired with Sweet P (who might infurate me, too, so maybe I'm being harsh) and the duo came up with a typical Rami elegantly draped yet utterly boring dress with some poorly made black pants underneath. Sweet P made a cute little gray dress to go along with it that both the judges and I thought was better than the showcase frock.

Jillian and Victorya really surprised me with their punk equestrian look. Jillian fashioned a stunning black double breasted jacket with a long train and pink lining. They paired this with a white shirt and jodphurs. Their ready to wear piece (an off the shoulder black minidress) was simple but cute.

Kit Pistol and Ricky "I must cry every five minutes while wearing a different hat" Lizalde made some sort of strange Little House on the Prairie giant hoop skirted nightmare. It looked like they ran to the country cupboard, pulled out all the sheets and exploded them onto their model. I won't even talk about their commercial piece. Blech.

In the end it's bye bye Kit. I do think Rami is the better designer so it makes more sense that he stayed. Too bad he's the bigger jerk, too.

You can see the rest of the looks at BravoTV.com.

Rally!
Ms. P

The Presidential Race, Gossip Girl, Project Runway and Rambo: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

Goodness gracious, where do I begin?

I saw the commercial for the new Rambo movie. The song used to advertise this little ode to testosterone? "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" by I don't even remember or care. Way to date your movie, Sly. Way to be so very not ought.

Last night was jam packed with New York madness. Why are there no shows about Nebraska madness?

Project Runway returned to terrible form with a collection of some of the ugliest prom dresses I've ever seen. I mean, I know prom dresses, by definition, trend towards hideous but those were some fugly frocks. I'm a bit sad that weird beard guy is gone but not really because none of these designers are gaining my sympathy. Except, and I called that I would turn to the dark side on this one, Christian Siriano. Watching him work with the bratty teenager who basically drew the dress then hated it reminded me of Jeffrey Sebelia working with Angela's drippy mom. I felt sorry for him, too. And couldn't stand him, either. I am looking forward to hearing more of Tim's new catchphrase, "Rally!" I hope it replaces "Make it work!" That declaration is so two seasons ago, darling.

Bravo also offered up Make Me a Supermodel: Meet the Models. These contestants make the America's Next Top Model girls look like Mensa candidates (egads, one of them is from Plano, TX! First Chace Crawford, now this girl. What is going on here? That devil town needs to fade into the obscurity it deserves) and Niki Taylor is no Tyra Banks (which may be a compliment come to think of it). Some of the boys are purty cute and my favorite is the dopey deputy from Nashville, Ben DiChiara (Barney Fife). I bet they love him at the prison!

I had three servings of vicious Upper East Side action with Gossip Girl, The Nanny Diaries (Tom's choice, not mine) and Cashmere Mafia. I know people in New York aren't awful but then again, I don't know anyone on the UES. Wait, I used to. And she was just as scary. $113 million will buy you amazing art and great clothes, but it will not buy happiness or nice. Anyhoo, I sat rapt as Blair Waldorf (in scenes very reminiscent of Heathers including the colored tights and passing of the headband to Jenny) and Mrs X (I'm sorry, but when I listened to Julia Roberts read that book, I did not picture Paul Giamatti - much as I love him - as Mr. X) got their comeuppance. As for the women of Cashmere Mafia... I don't mind Mia and Zoe but the wannabe cheating wife (Miranda Otto) and the wannabe lesbian (Bonnie Sommerville)... they're making me tired.

This is going to sound awful but I can't even tell A/The Daily Show and The Colbert Report don't have writers. Their coverage of the bumbing pundits mis-calling New Hampshire made me laugh out loud at both which I haven't done in quite a while. However, between all the nitwits at CNN, Bill Kristol and Chris Matthews, they had an embarrassment of riches.

Speaking of politics, Bill Richardson dropped out of the race before the Nevada Caucus (his one possible winner). It makes me wonder what kind of deal Clinton cut with him to get him out. I've long thought he was the obvious choice as her running mate. We'll see.

Catch ya later, tater,
Ms. P