Showing posts with label insane people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insane people. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Deep Breaths


Isn't this picture pretty? Soothing, even. (You can see loads more excellent images at pixdaus.com.)

I'm using it to erase the past couple of hours where I made the unwise decision to read the crazy people reaction to Obama's education speech and watch the crazy people reaction to Obama's speech (did you know it was illegal to have lesson plans where kids talk about what they want to be when they grow up?).

It's so unsettling to me, this fear based Feary McFearystein loony bin rhetoric. Would someone please explain to me how it was okay for Bush to do warrantless wiretaps, but it's NOT okay for Obama to tell kids to set goals and step away from the XBox?

Somehow I am missing the logic.

In other news, I would love to see Georgia native Melanie Oudin step in and win it all at the US Open. That would be pretty delightful. Did anyone else see Novak Djokovic call John McEnroe down for a quick game last night after his match? That was super cute. Looking forward to Marin Cilic vs Andy Murray later this afternoon and would like to see Cilic pull off the upset if only because of this photo.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day From NBC

NBC wishes you a Happy Valentine's Day courtesy of an exclusive interview with Drew Peterson and his... is that daughter? No, fiancee? Drew Peterson and his next wife (victim), Christina Raines.

Stay classy, NBC. Although, to be fair, they aired this yesterday on the Today show so maybe they were celebrating Friday the 13th, which is way more fitting.

And, of course, I'm the goob who's posting this crap, but only because I'm being bombarded by it on MSNBC right now so... why not spread the joy.

Valentine's Day is a made up ridonkulous holiday, anyway, right? My worst Valentine's Day? When I got fired from a job and my ex dumped me the week before... then tried to give me the present he'd bought me, anyway. My best? Well, that would be with Tom, of course, as V-Day is our anniversary. Six years. LORDY. That is a long time for yours truly and yet somehow it's flown by. He's a keeper, that TB, and that's as mushtastic as I'll ever get.

Happy Heart Day to you and yours.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Please Tell Me This is Meant to be Funny - Phone Manners Edition



"People who dial a wrong number more than a couple times a year are simply careless."

"Some folks with answering machines are bothered by hangups. I think that's their hangup!"

(found via videogum via everything is terrible)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Torture American Style - Ann Coulter Edition

I woke up this morning and watched Ann Coulter on CBS' Early Show. Why do I hate myself? Seriously. However, if I have to suffer, you do, too! Hee hee!



Further to the disturbing tenor of the last 13 hours, I submit this... Richard Simmons on CNN...molesting the interviewer's foot.



However, I'm not all about the grody here at Velocity Central and so I offer this as a panacea for the last two clips.

Anderson Cooper hosting the first ever Presidential Dog Debate. Just when I think I could not love him any more...

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Rock of Love Bus Kicks Off In Louisville, Y'all!!

Meet Nikki. She raps and, uh, stuff. I think she might have herpes since her lyrics are written on the back of a Herpes information sheet. I almost feel like I do just from looking at her.

Quote of the show so far: "I'm a very spiritual person. I'm deep as well."

I think the only new show that's surviving past today on the LP schedule is Confessions of a Teen Idol. Christopher Atkins has me hooked, what can I say?

Mediocre dancers from Russia and strippers from Planet Slut can only hold my attention for so long, I'm afraid.

I heard Bret say that if he doesn't find love this time around he's giving up. Does that mean Don Dokken will be taking over season 4? In my dreams, right? Haw haw. Actually, if C.C. DeVille did it, the show might actually be kind of amusing instead of simply pathetic and disgusting.

Tom is looking for a contestant who's not totally skanky. I think he's out of luck, poor thing.

(photo from VH1.com)

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Would You Marry This Man? - Death Wish Edition



Some 23- year old misguided young woman (read: idiot) is engaged to Drew Peterson, the ex-creep (I mean cop) who may or may not have (in the way that OJ may or may not have ) killed his wife (that he's still married to... if she's alive... which she's totally not).

He also (supposedly) murdered his first wife (maybe fourth time's the charm!) who was believed to have died in an accidental drowning... until they exhumed her body and found out it was, err, not an accident.

Unbelievable. Just when I wonder if we can get any dumber...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I'm Not Hanging Around - Stay Classy, California and Kentucky Edition

Why, people, why?

Barack Obama in effigy at the University of Kentucky (and in Indiana and Oregon) and Sarah Palin in West Hollywood.

The noose is apparently on the loose, and I am not amused.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Sunday Signage


Nice one... but not as good as "I kissed a girl, and I liked it, then I went to Hell."

The pastor, David Allison, "thought the message would be a loving way to remind teenagers that the Bible denounces homosexuality."

Errr... sure thing, dude.

Friday, August 29, 2008

James Dobson Prayed for Rain and God Answered



James Dobson and those wacky fun folks over at Focus on the Family prayed for rain rain rain to fall on Mile High Stadium during Barack Obama's speech tonight.

Unfortunately, they may have prayed too hard as it now seems inclement weather, in the form of Tropical Storm Gustav, may cause next week's Republican National Convention to be postponed.

This one calls for Milli Vanilli for sure. Whatever you do don't put the blame on you!

I'm so gonna miss Chris Matthews' windblown Schroeder hair. I hope he has another outdoor perch for the Repub Con. I wonder who will challenge him to a duel this time!

Oopsie,
Ms. P

ps. I enjoyed Obama's speech but confess it veered into Peanuts teacher territory at times. Also, that vid in the beginning where they talked about his absent father... I don't know about you, but I'm kind of done with Presidents with daddy issues. That said, I doubt you get this ambitious in life without some au contraire mon pere.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Funniest Thing You'll See All Day - Diddy Edition



Be warned, there are some swear words but man... chortle city.

"I want to give a shout out to all my Saudi Arabian brothers and sisters and all my brothers and sisters from all the countries that have oil, if ya'll could please send me some oil for my jet I would truly appreciate it."

This is really happening!
Ms. P

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I Almost Wish I Believed In Hell...

So that Fred Phelps and the other inbred members of the Westboro Baptist Church would have a place to go when they die.



I know two negatives don't make a positive, but dang!

Friday, August 1, 2008

I'm Mad at John McCain

For bringing Paris Hilton back into the news.

Life was getting so peaceful without her around.

Thanks a lot, John!!!

Grr,
Ms. P

ps. In other news, the world is going to hell in a handbasket, for sure.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Baze vs. Rees

The Supreme Court upheld Kentucky's right to use lethal injection (thus most likely ending the moratorium on executions in this country).

I guess it's not cruel. Or unusual.

What on earth are we going to do when we lose Ruth Bader Ginsburg and David Souter?

State sanctioned murder really contributes to our culture of life, I think.

I've spent the morning watching the news and I'm disgusted by much. I totally get why people just move away to the woods to escape it all. I watched two teenagers force an 18 month old to smoke pot. I watched some housewife with crazy eyes use You Tube to defame her husband and try to get a better divorce settlement. I watched yet another "kids fighting caught on video!" episode. And I can't escape The Pope. Or the polygamist pioneer town.

I know, the answer is turn the damn TV off. Unfortunately all this stuff is still out there... Humf.

Super humf,
Ms. P

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Secret Talents of the Dancing with the Stars

Oh my God. I'm embarrassed to even be witnessing this new show called Secret Talents of the Stars.

A few questions.

1. George Takei. Why??!! I want to love and respect you, dude.

2. Who is the asshole judge? Sorry I just used a swear word, but man... whoever you are, smarmbot, you are not English, therefore your sleazebag snarkiness doesn't quite work. You just sound like a d**k (and I don't mean dork).

Apparently this judge is called Gavin Polone. Does anybody care? Not me.

3. Debbie Reynolds. Why??!! I want to love and respect you, Deb. Singin' in the Rain is one of my all time favorite movies.

Clint Black is about to do stand up comedy. With the help of Garry Shandling. God help us all.

I'm very sad to report that Adam Carolla is out on Dancing with the Stars. He was my fave (besides Marlee Matlin). Priscilla Presley's face continues to completely freak me out. I feel bad for saying that, but I mean, she looks like she was put together by Play-Doh. Tom says she looks like Clayface from Batman. I don't know what that means.

But I am mean,
Ms. P

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Chicken House of Poo

I'm watching Anthony Bourdain travel through Korea and here are two things I don't get:

1. How people can eat chicken feet and ass. Especially MY people!

2. Anthony Bourdain.

I'm off to watch a chili cook-off,
Ms. P

Monday, March 31, 2008

Seriously?


This is a joke, right? You have to double click to be able to read, I think. The internets amaze me sometimes.

I haven't eaten in eight days. I can't wait to get my brain back. Maybe then I will return to my famous wit! I fully plan to watch the entire episode of Top Chef this week. Sadly, I am seriously burnt to a crisp on the politics front. Change is inevitable so of course we can believe in it.

Tom Cruise is freaking me out but I'm watching him, anyway,
Ms. P

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Project Runway: Jazzin' for Blue Jean

Also: The Westboro Baptist Lunatics and Australian Open (old) news to follow...

On tonight's Project Runway the designers were challenged to re-imagine Levi's 501 jeans. We learn a bit more about the contestants - Rami survived the rigors growing up in Israel by sketching clothes, Victorya's mother made her whatever she wanted. My friend Priscilla mentioned that V rolls her eyes a lot, and it's funny - the one flashback clip they showed had them heading to heaven. Twice. In 15 seconds. Believe it or not someone's crying, and it's not Ricky (Jillian keeps pricking her finger on the sewing machine, and she's losing it. Quelle tragedie!) Speaking of Ricky, Christian is irked that RL and his stupid hats are still around. He thinks Ricky should have gone home instead of Kit. Can't say I disagree.

We're back to snoozeville here come runway time. I really hope they find more interesting designers next year. Ricky's cocktail dress isn't ... bad. Oh God. Cue waterworks. They like his work, and he's still in tears! Sheesh. Sweet P's modern patchwork was chic (and Michael Kors agreed). As for Victorya, was that skirt pleated or gathered or both? What was that? Besides lame, I mean. Rami's look is, of course, high end. For some reason I'm reminded of a classier Jeffrey Sebelia (perhaps because of the zippers on the outside of the dress). Christian loves the 80s. He just cannot help himself. I will give him props for creativity for adding the motocross jacket sleeves to the bottom of the jeans. Jillian maybe needed a poke in the head instead. Her jacket thing with the ruffled denim cuffs is strange at best. I don't even understand those red tabs on the shoulders. They look like little post its or something.

It's judgment time... well, bye bye Korea. Victorya's eyes will roll no more as Jillian lives to see another day. Ricky actually won, and I imagine his triumph probably has him in the fetal position by now. That guy needs to buy stock in Kleenex.

I'm still po'ed about the Westboro (not officially a) Baptist Church Heath Ledger protest. I did a bit of reading up on these nutjobs and it turns out they're the same losers who picket American soldier funerals (because apparently fighting in Iraq is the same thing as being a "fag enabler"). These inbred idiots (they're not allowed to marry outside the church and since the church is comprised of three families and some pathetic stragglers, they give new life to the term "kissing cousins") need to learn to do something constructive with their time. Like, oh say, campaign for Mike Huckabee.

On the bright side, Al Gore announced today that he supports the legalization of gay marriage. I think this all but insures us that he's not running for president.

I missed some great Australian Open matches that bid farewell to Justine Henin, Venus and Serena Williams, and David Ferrer. Maria Sharapova's going to the final against, it looks like, Daniela Hantuchova (who's busy pummeling Ana Ivanovic while I write). Since I can't stand Sharapova and don't care about Hantuchova, I'm no longer interested in the women's draw. Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal are still in it on the men's side so I'll remain curious, especially if it's a Nadal vs Federer final. Even a Nadal/Djokovic final would be cool. Perhaps Djok can win his first slam - he's certainly deserving (and I love his lampooning of Sharapova. Grudging respect to her for liking it, too).

Okay, it's sleepy time,
Ms. P

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Westboro Baptist Church: If There is a God, I Hope He Hates You and I Bet He Doesn't Hate Fags


I have seen some screwed up Evangelical shit in my time but this ranks up there. Let's all give Westboro Baptist Church a little ringy (their number is on the press release - double click on it and you can see the large version) and tell them how much God must appreciate what they're doing. Godhatesfags.com? Really? I'm speechless but for the exception of several swear words that I will refrain from typing.

But. F. Triple F. WTF??!!!!

Nothing about Westboro Baptist is relevant or consequential,
Ms. P

ps. I know I'm just feeding into whatever sickness WBC is by even writing about this stupid crap, but I couldn't help myself. I was just too shocked that anyone on this planet could be this ugly.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Kennedy Center Honors: For Once George Bush and I Have Something in Common

Okay, maybe not. For the better part of this show, GW and I have had a look of mild amusement and confusion on our faces but now I, who knew I was in a time warp while watching this thing, am sitting here wondering who the hell thought Hootie and the Blowfish were still relevant??!

Of course, it's the first time in the show where Bushie has looked fully awake. Figures.

Oh my God, Wonder Woman is dancing around as Hootie regales the crowd with a Beach Boys medley (they're honoring Brian Wilson). At least Robert de Niro has the good sense to, uh, have no rhythm.

I seriously wonder what dimension The Kennedy Center Honors gala flows into ours from. I tend to think 1978 or 1981 as its cheesy tributes harken back to a more innocent (innocently disturbing is more like it) era. I mean, the Steve Martin Vaudeville Dancers? I want to know what was inside Martin's head while four ladies dressed in white suit jackets wearing bunny ears sang "All of Me".

At least Steve Carell provided some genuine funny before things got weird.

Martin Scorsese got the classiest tribute of the evening with Cameron Diaz, De Niro and some hot opera chick opening up the show.

Poor Brian Wilson is all I have to say. From Hootie to beach balls floating down from the ceiling, his face betrayed little emotion. I mean geez, if they were going to mine the 90s, they couldn't get Wilson Phillips?!

When, oh when, is real TV going to start again?

I hope you all are enjoying your holidays. I had a creepy dream last night where I was having an affair with Tom Brokaw and got caught by Tom the husband's mother. 2007 really needs to end.

Why does Kate Walsh love gossip magazines?
Ms. P