NYC Prep - It's Front Row Or Nothing

In case you missed it, because I know you're all watching this show it's really just the best thing ever and I don't know how the Gods of TV will ever surpass this gloriousness, last week teen dream Sebastian and future elephant trainer Taylor broke up and can't even be friends even though they were never really going out and it's all made up anyway.

This week finds Jessie grasping once again for fashion greatness with her new job at Charlotte Ronson. She calls her fellow applicants "pathetic" since they were seven years older than her and had the same amount of experience. I think she got the job because it would expose Charlotte Ronson to a bunch of rich New York teens... and lesser types who can buy her crappy diffusion line at JC Penney. (I had a gander the other day when I was at Mall St. Matthews and it's just as bad as it looked online. There's one wearable piece. The rest looks and feels le cheap. It is on sale these days, though. Oh, funniest part, a sales clerk was showing around a new employee and said, "This is Charlotte Robson. We've had this line for a few months.")

Anyway... for some reason unknown to anyone, PC (or PCP as I like to call Peter Carey Peterson) invites Taylor and a + 1 (she brings her old yet new again flame Cole, the only normal person on this show) to the Jill Stuart show during Fashion Week. PC and Taylor are pretending to find each other fascinating. Geez, what crazy scenario will these producers think of next?!

It's semi-hilarious, mostly cringeworthy, when PC tries to school Taylor on proper celebrity sighting etiquette. They arrive in a flurry of paparazzi to front row seats because, as PC sooo correctly says, "It's front row or nothing." Taylor bags on PC and his pretentious friend Kat for wearing their sunglasses indoors and it's true, they look like jerks even though I think she's wearing those Oliver Peoples sunglasses I totally love but won't buy because they look like crap on me.

Cue Taylor and Cole giving some snappy sartorial commentary along the lines of "I like purple" and "Purple is my school color." Those peasants from the Upper West Side sure are adorable!!

Oh look, here comes Sebastian!! I think he has a speech impediment or something... or he's drunk... because he's slurring his words when he tells us how he's going to try and have a go at Kelli now that Taylor rejected him. I kind of like Kelli as she announces she's not going to be Sebastian's backup. You go girl! People don't say that anymore, do they?

PC is still yammering on about being in the front row as we drift along to the Erin Fetherston show at Bryant Park. (Her diffusion line at Target was way better. I bought the bunny thermals because I luv bunnies.) Seb and Kelli only have fifth row. My God, they so don't rate! Anyway, who wants the dramz that would be a Kelli and PC meet up because we all know they totes hate each other.

My brain is oozing out of my head right now. Seriously. I always hear about how you have to suffer for your art. Now I understand, dear readers!!

PC tries to apologize to Kelli after the show and it's just words words bitching bitching, I sure don't think anyone's really making up here and does it matter because when this show is over these people will care even less about each other than we do.

OMG! Paris Hilton cameo!! We all know by now that she dropped out of the same prep school that PC and Jessie recently graduated from. It's called Dwight and apparently they'll let anyone in.

PC is not in the front row at Pamella Roland and he throws a really unappealing hissy fit, but everything he does is unappealing so this is okay. He is keeping in character. I bet the show runners are super proud of PC. He is their bright shining star as he calls Kat (or at least I think it's Kat, I can't tell without the sunglasses) the c-word and gives Jessie the finger. That's breeding there, boys and girls. That is the grandson of a billionaire.

We're 26 minutes in before we get our first glimpse of Camille. Who cares.

Now Jessie's working for Carmen Marc Valvo?!! How can this be? I have to admit I really like CMV even though he designs with fur and that makes me want to barf.

Are you still here? If so, thanks, because I barely am.

PC brings an entourage to the CMV after party. Jessie gets mad and tries to act like she's angry because it's tacky to bring uninvited guests to a soiree and she's worried about PC hanging out with dudes in their 20s when really she's worried that PC is actually gay and therefore not in love with her as she is in love with him. It's Shakespearean, this tragedy, and they whack us over the head with the PC On Fire theme every week to the point where now I'm actually beginning to think he's hetero.

I have started way too many sentences in this re-cap/liveblog/disaster with the letters PC.

I think they just showed Camille at some spa. Who cares.

Sebastian continues to be drunk or have marbles in his mouth or something. He's on a date with some girl who has perfect eyebrows. More words and most are unintelligible. They even give you subtitles but it still doesn't make any sense.

Taylor wanted to hug Paris Hilton when she saw her. Taylor the future philosopher just fell quite a bit in my estimation but she's 15 so whatevs. Actually, that makes it worse.

More Jessie ragging on PC with the "I love you please pay attention to me" subtext still going strong.

And mercifully it's over. Just like this post.

Project Runway Starts Tonight!

Or, started...

Here's an exclusive preview!!



Enjoy!
Ms. P

ps. Okay, so the real PR post is coming tomorrow. I'm still trying to finish watching So You Think You Can Dance.

Charlie Brown Has a Coke and a Smile and Other Monday Musings

My friend Will's choice for best Superbowl ad.

The commercials seemed weak. I don't get the hype. That Audi Godfather ripoff was just weird.

If I hear one more Republican candidate talk about Ronald Reagan I'm going to puke.

In case you were wondering, Bill Kristol still sucks.

I love how all the Linda Park latest news on perfectpeople.net are my blog entries. Tee hee.

Fashion Week is upon us once more! Everything I've seen so far has been pretty divine. My favorite look to date is this schoolmarm outfit from Rag & Bone. Diane von Furstenburg and Sari Gueron had some lovely dresses, and colored tights are sticking around (further proof that the late 80s/early 90s are on their way back). Hello Heathers! I can't wait until Fall when these looks have been distilled and distilled again to the point where I can buy them on sale at the Gap. I hate to admit this, but really, for one week I would love to be rich and fabulous so I could see some of these shows and buy some of these clothes.

As always you can keep up with all things Fashion Week at New York magazine's excellent website.

Tomorrow is Super Tuesday. I'll be glued to MSNBC. I don't even know who I want to come out ahead at this point. I want them both to win.

Crap. I have the hiccups,
Ms. P

Back to our regularly scheduled programming

I turned on the news this morning and the lady on CNN with the bad burgundy Jane Fonda in Klute hair kept saying "We're hearing a moment of silence." I say kept because she did it more than once. Then she said, "Let's roll." Then she said, "Bells toll and tears flow." Seriously. Where do they find these people?

Diving right in to the fascists... I mean fashions...

Last night I watched the end of a special on Kimora Lee Simmons where she opined in regard to revelers at a party she threw, "These are the beautiful people of the world!" and then they cut to Kid Rock. ::snort::.

Also, the best show ever, the MetLife Snoopy in Fashion event took place on the 7th. Designers Betsey Johnson, Heatherette and Project Runway alum Laura Bennett (to name a few) gave the Peanuts a twist to support Dress for Success, an organization that aims to help disadvantaged women succeed in the workplace. The designs can be bid on at eBay from October 1 to 31.

At the shows... Day 6

Anna Sui: Girly and interesting but interesting doesn't always mean you want to wear it (a vest topped jumpsuit? Really? High-waisted pants to the point where your waist is your boobs? Sigh). Unfortunately, I have this sneaking suspicion that the 90s are coming back (I've even seen fanny packs!! The horror!) and I'm not happy about it. However, I'm going to go ahead and agree with Vincent Gallo (even though he totally grosses me out) and say that Sui is an underrated designer and I applaud her longevity. I'm also biased because of the Asian factor (loads of Asian designers showed this week. Very exciting).

Marc Jacobs: Because I've seen My Morning Jacket do the reverse show trick where they come out, play one song, take their bows and leave (and I'm sure they weren't the first to do this), it sounded a bit less cute when I heard that this is how Marc Jacobs ran his show. Also not cute, making people wait two freakin' hours. Everyone is raving over this inconsistent explosion of bad taste. I'm totally missing something. I mean, we've established that I'm not cool and I wear Old Navy and everything but come on!! What the hell was that?!

Oscar de la Renta: De la Renta presented his collection at a church on the Upper East Side instead of at the Bryant Park tents. People are falling all over themselves with praise for the show, calling it a religious experience (seriously - were these people fooled because it was a) in a church and b) included a performance by the oft robed Polyphonic Spree? Hey, fashionistas, it's the sun! Better get some SPF 45. I really hope someone gets that tacky joke). Anyway, I was ready to be snooty but I can't. It will be hard to beat this stunning and polished collection that featured some of the most beautiful dresses I've seen so far.

Finally, if you feel like getting your disco on, have a gander at Chris Benz and Vivenne Tam.

Making the rounds: Victoria Beckham (who is starting to resemble one of those Close Encounters of the Third Kind aliens), The Olsen Twins (probably doing research for New York Minute 2), some chick named Tinsley Mortimer who as far as I can tell has never done anything, Roger Federer (who was getting drooled on by Anna Wintour. Ick), Mischa Barton (I think this girl will go to a fashion show at a mall, she's so ubiquitous), and Julianne Moore (who apparently watched the VMAs since she's blonde now, too. I really hope this is for a movie or something because she looks much better as a redhead).

Also, apparently LL Cool J has a clothing line, too? Are they giving these things out to anyone? I need to tell Tom to capitalize on his Esquire Magazine's Best Dressed status (so what if it was last year!) and start his own brand so my friend Leslie and I can go to Fashion Week and be annoying little scenesters, too.

Back in the saddle again,
Ms. P

ps. This picture comes from the door of the Duomo di Milano in Italy, one of the most beautiful cathedrals I've ever seen. Milan Fashion Week is September 22 - 29 and is worth having a look at.

Fashionably Late

Day 5 of New York Fashion Week is upon us and thank gawd it's almost over.

Here's the quick rundown on Saturday's shows:

Diesel: More lemon. More snooze. They used to make such great jeans. What happened?

Malandrino: Ms. M's trademark flow is in full effect. More of the weird giant shoulders but I definitely expect to see these dresses in the pages of In Style super duper soon!

Lacoste: A bit of wide cummerbund weirdness, but all in all, a fresh crisp collection with smiling models and some high waisted shorts that didn't make me gag!

Y-3 : Gothtastic sportswear! If Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood ever decide to head for the links they need look no further. Japanese avant-garde goes Sporty Spice. And hey, Samuel L. Jackson (who likes My Morning Jacket) was there!

Cynthia Rowley showed on Friday and should have ridden her little bicycle all the way back to her sketchbook. Zzzz...

I swear I'm going back to Sear's Toughskins (Do they still exist? I should ask my brother) after looking at all this. Burlap sacks, maybe.

In other news:

Caught up with the most recent ep of Damages today. Watching Ted Danson act desperate is depressing. Can't wait to write my Fall TV guide for you although I must confess I am not as excited about the coming season as I usually am.

Ochi "Dainoji" Yosuke won the Air Guitar World Championships for the second year in a row but I'm not sure why. I never wanted to hear that stupid Offspring song again and I heard there was a guy who did a back flip onto a beer can. I think that judging is rigged.

Politics, Rock of Love and the VMAs later tonight.

Go Fed! Go Djok!
Ms. P

Sartorial Slings and Arrows

It's Saturday morning, I'm feeling fresh and the fashion fatigue has evaporated with a good night's sleep.

Also, I woke up and looked at Thom Browne's collection and it made me chortle quite a lot so I wanted to share. Menswear (hey, something for the guys!) hasn't looked this, uh, interesting in years. I haven't been this amused since Gareth Pugh's Fall 2007 bizarre explosion of ninja, s&m and jailhouse rock.

Here's the quick review of some of the Friday's shows (no shots of Jovovich-Hawk yet):

Vera Wang: Wang has a new line at Kohl's so we now not only have access to some of her clothes, we might actually be able to afford them, as well. From what I've seen, there are some really nice pieces. Her '08 collection is my favorite so far. Great structure, nice flow, the colors aren't exactly spring but I don't favor spring colors, anyway. There were a few misses but all in all, 100% wearable.

Proenza Schouler: PS are getting raves all over the place and are another label that sold in Louisville, although their 90-day Target line has come and gone. I'm not a huge fan but they are critical darlings so I thought I'd include them. Strangely, when it comes to high fashion, I tend to be really conservative favoring Calvin Klein, Armani, et al. Sadly, I'll probably never be in either with the exception of the t-shirt CK reps gave me at Lollapalooza and the Armani blouse my old, very wealthy boss bestowed upon her downtrodden little employee (I had to duck flying staplers at that job, but that's another story).

Baby Phat by Kimora Lee Simmons: I just had a gander at Mrs. Russell Simmons' closet in a magazine and that thing was bigger than my living room. She has more shoes than the entire footwear department at Dillard's AND she purges every season. I don't aspire to that but it was impressive (or sickening, depending). As for the collection, bright colors flew down the runways and all I have to say is it's springtime for hoochie mamas! Even if I had the figure for it I would never be brave enough (or trashy, depending on your view) to sport these looks. Unfortunately, I spotted another pair of high-waisted shorts. Seriously, it's a scourge!

More later when I'm glued to the couch going back and forth between the US Open men's semi-finals and the America's Next Top Model cycle 8 marathon. I'm hoping for a Federer/Jokovic final but wouldn't mind if Ferrer won his match as he's been most impressive. I do NOT want to see a victorious Davydenko but there seems to be little chance of that). Tonight, I hope it will be Justine all the way. Now if only she could win Wimbledon!

Hope you are enjoying the glorious grey Saturday,
Ms. P

ps. RIP Pavarotti. Valentino's retiring. Italy's losses are also ours this week.

Friday Fashion Edition II

aka "Snark Muscle Flexeth"

Day two of New York Fashion Week brought us Spring 2008 collections from red carpet faves Badgley Mischka, celebrity faves Miss Sixty (the front row consisted of Clive Owen, Demi Moore, Hilary Swank and Maggie Gyllenhaal), Bill Blass (who had the most elegant collection I've seen thus far), Preen, and Lela Rose (whose scallop edged skirts and dresses were pretty darn cute).

Sienna Miller and her sister Savannah held the launch party for their new line Twelve8Twelve, which is apparently inspired by Dickens and Patti Smith. Err, okay. She joins Gwen Stefani and the Olsen Twins as celebrities with high end labels. To me that's not really an illustrious list and I don't think I've ever found myself wanting to look like any of these women. Furthermore, what is the deal with Sienna Miller? She seems more famous for being famous and wearing high-waisted jeans (or nothing at all) than for any great acting talent.

Most of these shows seem either flashy but uneven (L.A.M.B., Miss Sixty - haven't seen the Heatherette pics yet) or dull and uneven (rag and bone, Nicole Miller - but cheers to her for going fur-free). People keep wondering what crazy stunt PETA is going to pull next and I wish the animal rights people (of which I am one, my hypocritical use of leather and Charmin aside) didn't come off like lunatics on occasion. The message gets lost and seriously, do they really think if they throw red paint on someone stupid enough to wear a giant fur that person is actually going to rethink her position and stop?

Anyway, expect to resemble a lemon or a Blockbuster employee (all that khaki! Does khaki look good on anyone?) and to be belted within an inch of your life come spring and if I see one more outfit that accentuates a woman's hips I'm going to be ill. Do you know any women who want their hips to look bigger? I sure don't. Between the big hips, huge shoulders and out of proportion fedoras, no wonder some of these models look so unhappy...

And speaking of models, I stayed up til 3 am last night watching the end of cycle 4 of America's Next Top Model. That Keenyah had some crazy eyes and I confess I developed a bit of a girl crush on Kahlen. In the end, though, I'm glad Naima won (are any of these girls ever named Cathy or something normal?) Someone save me, please. There's a marathon on tomorrow and I just know I'm going to watch. However, maybe this will cause me to o.d. like my friend Leslie and I'll never turn it on again.

In other news, apparently Larry Wachowski is still a man. Doesn't he realize this makes him less interesting? This all comes from "sources on the set" and was reported by Fox News so I don't know if I believe it.

And lastly, oh I am so sad to report this but Tim Gunn's Guide to Style sucks. I will give it another chance but oh Lord. Tim and Veronica (who now looks like Gary Oldman in The Fifth Element. Yikes, right?) are no Trinny and Susannah!

The bad: OptiTex software demonstrations - they put in your measurements and put clothes on a virtual model. It looks horrible. I wouldn't want to wear anything after seeing myself like that. The contestant - all I could think when she was at Catherine Malandrino was CM's inner dialog of "Oh my God I did not imagine my dress on zees breedge and tunnel beem-bo." and yes, I'm probably putting unfair words in her mouth. And Gunn himself who came off as simply fussy, although I did love it when he gasped over Veronica Webb's suggestion of leggings.

The horrible: The Life Stylist (seriously, am I watching The Swan?) The piece of crap Ice.com ring they gave the contestant's husband to give her. All I could think of was that Sex and the City episode where Carrie saw Aidan's engagement ring and puked. And lastly, though it will make me seem heartless, the whole scene with her mother getting flown in after surgery to see her in nice clothes... They had her come in right at the end - she didn't even get to see the fashion show. What was the point?

Also, who has a separate dog walking outfit? Is this for real?

Sigh. I am going to be shallower than a kiddie pool by the time Fashion Week is over.

Off to go see Shoot 'em Up,
Ms. P

ps. I hate to think I'm losing any male readers by being all girly, posting flower pics and writing about wacky frocks. I promise, cars and comics coming soon!