Ms. P One Year Later

It was one year ago today that I started this little blog and my :sniff: how you've grown!

I looked at my first few posts last night and way back then I was watching the US Open and talking about gay marriage.

In that time, things have changed in both tennis AND gay marriage! Has any other blogger tied the two together, I wonder? Methinks not!

These changes have been positive and so today I celebrate both Rafael Nadal taking over the #1 spot from Roger Federer AND California's legalization of gay marriage. Hurray for progress!

However, I think after watching last night's match between Andy Roddick and Ernest Gulbis I may have a new favorite. The young Latvian is scrappy, adorable and hits some amazingly impossible shots down the line.

Here's some vid of Nadal vs Gulbis from Wimbledon.



Unfortunately, Roddick prevailed but not before being pushed to four sets. Though I heart Lacoste, I do not heart AR. On that Mandy Moore and I have something in common. Or maybe it's Zach Braff she doesn't like anymore. Well, me either so score on both counts.

I've also spent the last year talking about politics, and we've had a historic little week here in America with Barack Obama's nomination and McCain's choice of Sarah Palin for VP (I love how they'd met ONE time before he picked her and that she has a son called Van Palin). I think it's going to be another nail biter in early November. I maintain that the person best suited for this job will never run.

I think the following picture best describes my current feelings about the state of politics:

And that makes me sad, really, because I should care and am a self-confessed political junkie type. However, the whole dog and pony (or elephant and donkey?) show has worn me out. They really need to cut back on these long election seasons. This country has ADD, what the heck were they thinking?

Alright... Happy Anniversary to me or something. Hope you all are having a fab holiday weekend.

Gossip Girl starts on Monday! W00t!

Maintaining my love/hate relationship with the internets,
Ms. P

James Dobson Prayed for Rain and God Answered

James Dobson and those wacky fun folks over at Focus on the Family prayed for rain rain rain to fall on Mile High Stadium during Barack Obama's speech tonight.

Unfortunately, they may have prayed too hard as it now seems inclement weather, in the form of Tropical Storm Gustav, may cause next week's Republican National Convention to be postponed.

This one calls for Milli Vanilli for sure. Whatever you do don't put the blame on you!

I'm so gonna miss Chris Matthews' windblown Schroeder hair. I hope he has another outdoor perch for the Repub Con. I wonder who will challenge him to a duel this time!

Oopsie,
Ms. P

ps. I enjoyed Obama's speech but confess it veered into Peanuts teacher territory at times. Also, that vid in the beginning where they talked about his absent father... I don't know about you, but I'm kind of done with Presidents with daddy issues. That said, I doubt you get this ambitious in life without some au contraire mon pere.

Funniest Thing You'll See All Day - Diddy Edition

Be warned, there are some swear words but man... chortle city.

"I want to give a shout out to all my Saudi Arabian brothers and sisters and all my brothers and sisters from all the countries that have oil, if ya'll could please send me some oil for my jet I would truly appreciate it."

This is really happening!
Ms. P

Project Runway Episode 7 - No Cars Go

I don't know what this week's ep is titled but that's my favorite Arcade Fire song. Okay, that's the only Arcade Fire song I really like. Oh... they called it "Fashion that Drives You." That's not fun!

I haven't seen tonight's PR because I'm too busy obsessing over Chris Matthews' windswept hair.

However, my pal Maisy wrote up a nice little review so check hers out.

The Democratic Convention - Where Headliners Become Footnotes

John Kerry's speech didn't even make it onto MSNBC. So sad.

Bill Clinton's oratory wasn't as impressive as Hillary's.

Is anyone else as amused by Chris Matthews' tousled Schroeder hair as I am?

I was wrong about Obama's VP choice (I won't be listening to semi-trusted sources anymore), and though I've liked Biden in the past I'm not sure he's a better option.

Michelle Obama told Brian Williams her girls wondered if they'd be seeing The Jonas Bros at the convention.

I just got home from a week on tour so this post may not make much sense.

Too many drumsticks,
Ms. P

My Morning Jacket + Austin = Faces Melted

Although I confess it may have had more to do with the Indiana Jones like heat.

That said, even though this "once great local band now resigned to mainstream mediocrity and a god-awful recent release" (- Taylor Shelton) must toddle on in the wake of their apparent suckiness, I still think they do a purty good job of rawking the house. Just ask anyone who got to see their Stubb's and Austin City Limits performances.

I'm having a bitchin' time in Austin town but am rather looking forward to heading home. I never thought I'd say I'm traveling too much but in the wake of being gone every month this year, the home time is a good time.

Toodles,
Ms. P

My Morning Jacket + Erykah Badu = Holy Cow

Sorry I've been absent, but I've been traveling and shooting and traveling and watching Erykah Badu jump on stage with My Morning Jacket to perform "Tyrone" with them, a song they've been covering for nine years.

It was definitely neato. Normally I loathe being in Dallas but tonight it was all worthwhile.

Groovy,
Ms. P

Project Runway - Episode 6 - Don't Be a Drag

Another Wednesday, another episode of Project Runway. Okay, I just looked and the title of the ep is "Good Queen Fun." I made up "Don't Be a Drag," but I kind of like mine better so, err, there.

Unfortunately, I haven't seen the show yet but from glancing at the pics, this one looks to be my fave even though I'm not a huge Leanne fan.

I've been busy doing Tae Kwon Do testing (I broke my third board and must confess it's a rather satisfying feeling) and packing up for the beyond early trip to Denver tomorrow. So... more from Red Rocks, Dallas and Austin.

Tom watched, though, and said he agreed with the outcome (he thinks Daniel is a brat, which is true), and that RuPaul was one of the best guest judges yet.

What do you think?

Sashay, chante,
Ms. P

Zell Miller Gets a Building... Maybe

The University of Georgia wants to rename a building after the duel-challenging former Governor (and Republican sympathizer) Zell Miller.

I assume it's the building that houses their fencing team?

Let's enjoy Zell's finest moment, shall we?



Good times!
Ms. P

Bigfoot Update

Yes, he was fake.

Bummer,
Ms. P

Obama's VP Pick

So, who else thinks Obama is going to pick Virginia Governor Tim Kaine?

Who thinks this is a wise decision?

Who thinks picking a white guy from the South is a bit scary?

I definitely do not mean to imply that everyone in the South is a member of a white supremacist organization, btw, or that everyone in the South is a racist. I'm just digging a hole for myself here by saying it's a choice that might give one pause.

Who thinks the close race is yet another indication of the Democrats inability to git r done (or however you spell it)?

Personally, I'm having a hard time caring anymore having come to the conclusion, once again, that they all kind of suck (see: John Edwards).

Looking forward to the conventions, though. I think. I am a bit disturbed that the first open forum for the candidates was held in an Evangelical church, but I guess as far as Bible thumpers go, Rick Warren isn't half bad.

Enough with the rambling,
Ms. P

My Morning Jacket at Waterfront Park

The Mayor, The Boys, The Madness...

Better let the pictures speak for themselves...

Spain, I Know You Gave Us Rafael Nadal Pt 2

Words fail me, I must say.

They didn't fail Gawker, though.

The animals are asleep.

I wish I still was,
Ms. P

Headline of the (Tues)Day

"Giant Dog Turd Wreaks Havoc at Swiss Museum"

Bigfoot Coming Your Way at 3!

Don't forget to tune in to CNN today to find out if Bigfoot is for reals!

Some dudes in Georgia say they've found le den du Sasquatch, and they've captured the carcass of a 7 ft 7 in tall half man/half ape.

If this is true, does it mean aliens, the Loch Ness Monster et al exist, too?

The truth is out there!

At 3 pm, apparently!

Nessie lives!
Ms. P

ps. Okay, I turned on CNN at 3. I don't know where the heck Bigfoot is. I'm bummed.

Project Runway - Episode 5 - Welcome to the Jungle (Better Late Than Never Edition)

Sorry sorry! I've been in an Olympics stupor and am just sitting down to Project Runway.

Daniel ensures us that there's no way he'll be in the bottom 3 which guarantees that, of course, he will.

Blayne trills, "Team Dramalicious" and thus episode 5 begins.

Brooke Shields is on hand to judge the contestants as they design an outfit based on her Lipstick Jungle character, Wendy Healy. The winning design will be featured the show (which is a bore, by the way).

Suede just said, "I"!!!! OMG! Did the world just end?

The designers work in pairs so that should be lots of fun as you know half of them aren't going to get along. After showing Brooke their initial designs, she chooses Keith, Korto, Jerrell, Kelli, Terri and Blayne to create their designs.

Then we're treated to 30 minutes of mudslinging, including Terri pondering whether or not Suede has "balls or a vajayjay" and referring to herself in the third person. I guess hanging out with Suede is having a Suede effect on her.

Kelli talks about her disabled grandmother and how having a piece on Lipstick Jungle would make her really proud which means we'll be saying bye bye Kelli at the end of the show.

Tim no longer wants to say, "Holla at ya boy."

And it's runway time!

Keith and Kenley. K&K come up with a pretty groovy design that translates nicely from day to evening (see photo above). Everyone's in love with their sophisticated South Beach meets Midtown vibe.

Korto and Joe. Korto seems happy with her puffy sleeved African inspired jacket. Did Joe make that ill-fitting khaki dress? Why am I the only person who hates khaki?!!

Jerrell and Stella. While I don't love Jerrell's color/print choices, I think I like his ensemble the best. It's Heidi's favorite, too, and she and Brooke disagree about the belt.

Kelli and Daniel. Daniel thinks their outfit looks Dynasty." The shape of it, I feel, is the truly unfortunate part," says Brooke. "HELLOOO! Slutty, slutty, slutty!," exclaims Michael. Daniel says he has impeccable taste and Kenley laughs in his face. Now I know why someone hit my blog last night Googling "Kenley Collins is a bitch."

Terri and Suede. Earlier in the show Terri commented that her shirt was jacked. She was right, but it's good enough to get her through.

Blayne and Jennifer. B&J's outfit looks good... for a 20-year old. Heidi says, "She looks like she's a woman who didn't have a mirror." Blayne falls on the knife and admits he should be the one to go home if one of them were to get auf'ed. Jennifer agrees but apologizes. I'm kind of respecting Blayne right now even though Brooke calls him "kind of bratty." I wonder if he's watching this at home right now crying because BS dissed him.

Keith (and Kenley) win. And oh, how the show is becoming predictable as it's bye bye Kelli as Jerrell and Stella are in tears over her departure.

Woo hoo! Next week is drag queen design!

"It's a pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park!"
Ms. P

I Almost Wish I Believed In Hell...

So that Fred Phelps and the other inbred members of the Westboro Baptist Church would have a place to go when they die.



I know two negatives don't make a positive, but dang!

Funny or Disturbing?

Is it amusing that Google Street View captured this man passed out drunk on his mother's front lawn or frightening that privacy seems to be a relic of a bygone era?

Then again, he was passed out. On his mother's lawn. Inebriated. In the middle of the afternoon.

It seems a bit weird, really. You can see my sister-in-law and her husband outside their house if you look at their street view. Luckily Tom and I live in the boonies so there are no shots of us taking the dog out because Google Street View (thankfully) doesn't consider our street worth shooting.

I've been pondering the positives and negatives of the internet lately. The jury's still out but I'm thinking, great as it may be, the internet is kind of super freaking evil.

And yet I blog. Blog away like there's no tomorrow.

Writing on four hours of sleep,
Ms. P

Spain, I Know You Gave Us Rafael Nadal...

but... seriously???

And apparently it's not the first time something like this has happened.

Sigh,
Ms. P

That Elephant In The Room Is ADORABLE

I Don't Understand Country Music

"I'd like to check you for ticks?" Seriously? I just heard this lyric while watching a commercial for some radio station. I thought, "surely I misheard that." But no... and I don't even think this Brad Paisley song is new (that's how much I don't listen to country music). Dang. I'm almost laughing. Are ticks a euphemism for something else?

Hey, look, the Korean flag is being raised at the Olympics. Okay, so the guy didn't win (Park Tae Hwan came in second to Michael Phelps in the 100m backstroke), but still.

Tom is sitting next to me calling out names that sound like our animals' to see if they'll respond. Did you know McDonald's has a chicken and pickles sandwich?

Umm, yeah, back to the Olympics,
Ms. P

Weekend at Bernie's

Bernie Mac.

Bernie Brillstein.

RIP

The Olympics - Day 1 - Opening Ceremony

I've watched every Olympics since 1976, and this was by far the most spectacular Opening Ceremony I've seen (my second fave is probably Albertville in 1992).

Some random thoughts...

Zhang Yimou did an amazing job with the artistic portion of the program blending high tech graphics with the power of the people.

Who doesn't love Yao Ming? I love how they gave him way more screen time than that loser Kobe Bryant.

Didn't Rafael Nadal look adorable walking into The Bird's Nest? Glad to see Lindsay Davenport there. I wasn't sure if she was going to make it or not.

Is Matt Lauer really tall or is Bob Costas really short?

While I understand there are myriad political reasons to have problems with the Chinese government, the very tiny idealistic part of me wants to believe that since we only have so many opportunities to come together like this, we should maybe take them where we can get them.

I would probably have more to pontificate about, but it's 7 am, and I haven't really slept yet. Oops.

On another note, the tiny idealistic part of me was bummed to learn that John Edwards had an affair in 2006. Then again, I'm probably the fool for thinking politicians (nevermind lawyers!) are any better than the rest of us. It's not so much the affair, really, it's the circumstances, the lying, the running for President with a skeleton like this in the closet, the hubris, etc etc. Why on earth did Elizabeth stand by him for this? I've been soured on politics lately, though. Gee, I wonder why.

Happy weekending,
Ms. P

So You Think You Can Dance - Finale Pt 2 - And The Winner Is...

I think Cat has worn exactly ONE (okay, maybe two, I just saw another) outfit this year that didn't make me recoil in horror. Then again, nothing's been as awful as that pink leopard print Gucci dress she wore in season 2, although this gold fringed thing with what appears to be a mustard striped leotard underneath is giving it a run for its money. Why on earth do I remember this crap?

It's super weird to see the Top 20 again. What an unmemorable bunch they were. Tom and I agreed that it might be some of the strongest Top 4 we've seen but definitely not the strongest 20. We also agree on best routine of each season and had a fond moment reminiscing about Sabra and Neil's "Sweet Dreams" piece. We are dorks to the infinite power, yes it's true.

Shane Sparks put together a routine I think I saw on some cheerleading competition on ESPN. I guess all that time with Li'l Mama over on America's Best Dance Crew has dulled his senses or something.

The judges choose their favorite routines and first up is Nigel's. I, too, loved Katee and Josh's Bollywood routine. Good fun. Furthermore, I can't believe they remember it. I have an unfortunate tendency to forget my Tae Kwon Do forms as soon as I've tested them.

Mary's pick is Courtney and Gev's rhumba. Gev got a haircut. He looks better. It's like he came in a boy and left a man. :sniff: Courtney is so lucky she got that Sonya routine with Mark at the end because she's just... not that great, right?

Aww yeah, it's the pop off! I love Phillip Chbeeb. LOVE HIM. The other guy, Robert Muraine, quit in Vegas so he gets the lame vote from me. Phillip didn't go to Vegas because he caught pneumonia. I wondered why I didn't see him there. I don't get why everyone likes Robert better. Humf. At least Mia agrees with me.

Lil C spouts off some words of wisdom about the show being a museum or something then chooses Mark and Chelsie's hip hop routine to Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love." A good choice. I'd forgotten this routine but it showcased them both really well (and gosh that Mark is such a cutie). Chelsie was better than Courtney. The truth is out.

Oh. My. God. Mary Murphy is grabbing Dmitri's butt. Damn, Mary's actually got a hot figure under those weirdo outfits she wears. It's good to see she can still cut a rug.

Mia's choice is Will and Katee's pas de deux choreographed by the legendary Desmond Richardson. Deffo one of the highlights and all the judges are on their feet at the end.

Adam Shankman is one of my favorite gays. He seems like he might be slightly unhinged but oodles of fun. Yipee, he picks Sonya's "Garden" piece. Psyched to see Mark and Courtney perform it again.

Ahh, it's the first cut of the night. Finally. The first to go is... Courtney. I think no one is surprised. She's generous and humble about it... or she was until she said she was so proud of herself. Just once I'd like to see someone scream "NOOOOO!" and punch one of their competitors.

I guess Nigel wanted us all to see his choreographing genius once again as we're treated to another performance of "Five Guys Named Moe."

Apparently Wade Robson's run off with Criss Angel and that's why he hasn't been around to jazz up SYTYCD. I don't know how many of you know what a bunny freak I am so I'm both charmed and disturbed by this Cirque du Soleil rabbit homage that is, I guess, part of Angel's "Believe" Vegas show. It's nice to hear Eric Serra's music for this routine. He composed the soundtrack for Luc Besson's The Big Blue, and I've been a fan ever since.

It's Katee's turn to go. Now I am surprised. And bummed. This is what happens when you don't vote, America! Twitch looks as shocked as I am. Cat tells her she's getting $50k for being the top girl which sends her into near hysterics.

These Debbie Allen Dance Academy kids are adorable. I wonder if she yells "You want fame? Well, fame COSTS. And right here is where you start paying . . . IN SWEAT" at them. Nigel comes out to tap along, and he's quite good for a geezer!

Mary brings back Katee and Twitch's door routine. I wonder if they'll have a full on makeout session again. Well, yes. Yes, they did.

Oh crap, it's The Jonas Bros. I mean, oh great. This is awesome. Wow. I was so glad to read the other day that they're saving their virginity and stuff. Purity is the new promiscuity, ya'll! I also read that they're taking their show in a more "Flight of the Conchords" direction. I wonder how Bret and Jemaine feel about that.

Man this show is long.

Debbie picks Twitch and Kherington's "A New Day Has Come" routine that Jean Marc Genereaux choreographed for his disabled daughter.

The last judge's choice is Nigel's, and he wants to see Tabitha and Napoleon's "No Air" routine performed by Katee and Josh. I've really enjoyed what they brought to the show and hope they'll be back again next year.

The final dance is a large number by contestants from seasons past and the current Top 20. Allison had a baby. Good lord. No Sabra! Where's Sabra?! Nice to see Ivan for two seconds.

And the winner is... Joshua. He and his adorable father are both crying.

The end.

See you next season, boys and girls,
Ms. P

photos courtesy of Fox.com/Dance

Project Runway - Episode 4

Apparently every episode of Project Runway must now feature:

Joe showing how not gay he is.
Suede referring to himself in the third person.
Stella saying, "I love leatha."
Blayne discussing his stupid tan. How he managed to avoid saying "-licious" this week is beyond me. Or did he and I missed it?

I'm seriously falling asleep here.

The designers are challenged with creating an outfit for the US Olympic athletes to wear at the opening ceremony in Beijing. Apollo Anton Ohno is the guest judge. That makes a lot of sense since he's a WINTER games athlete... but okay.

Since I just wrote a marathon So You Think You Can Dance post, I'm just going to cover the runway.

Joe's USA skort is actually the most sporty spice thing on the runway. Does this mean skorts are coming back? Egads. Joe had a mini-hetero meltdown earlier where he complained that there were too many queens around. Umm, what show did he think he was auditioning for?

I don't hate Blayne's off the shoulder ensemble. I did hate saying that, though. Blayne doesn't know what Sgt Pepper is, but he made Tim say "holla at ya boy" again. It wasn't as funny this time.

Daniel's dress looks more like something a flight attendant in the 50s would wear. Or is that some other era I'm reminded of? Roseana should be able to tell me. Apparently, according to Michael, it's from the Republic of Cocktail Land.

Jennifer designs something kind of cute. How it relates to the Olympics in any way, shape or form, I have no idea. Apollo says he cannot walk tall, strong and proud in that girly frock.

I'm not even going to talk about Jerrell. And whatever the hell that is (see photo above).

Ditto Keith.
These designers must not watch the Olympics. Is that a given? Kelli's 60s housewife getup is just bizarre. What decade are we in? I wonder and so does Korto. We live in '08! Yeah!

Crikey, did anyone get a glimpse of Laura Bennett's Supermom getup that was inspired by the Saturn Outlook? I'm sure I'll be seeing that on all the minivan'ed soccer moms at Springhurst next week.

Kenley's outfit is not only completely unathletic, it's also fug to the max. She's lucky she has immunity.

Korto really likes those flowing pants, doesn't she? Heidi thinks those flowing pants are going to make America proud!

Leanne... is boring me, but her outfit looks well made.

God bless Stella. If the Olympics are ever in space she is so there. She says, "It represents the country in a bad ass way." Indeed.

Suede's outfit is just suedetastic! Not! I'm bringing back the "not" joke. Tell your friends.

I would be impressed by Terri's outfit if it didn't have that neck thing. Apollo says he "loves the colors." Umm, they're red, white and blue. Duh!

Korto is tonight's big winner and it's auf wiedersehen Jennifer.

Ta ta lovelies,
Ms. P

ps. OMG Brooke Shields is on next week! Whee!

So You Think You Can Dance - Finale Pt 1 aka Why So Serious, Josh?

I can't believe it's finale time already! How did the season go by so quickly?

In what seems to be a two person competition at this point (Katee vs Josh), we'll be treated to the top four dancers performing solo, and everybody dancing with everybody else. I'm sure we're all excited for that (anyone remember Travis and Benji's hip hop geek routine?!! SO SUPER FUN!).

Anyway, they're not mentioning the hospitalization this past weekend of two of the contestants. No sympathy votes for anyone, ya'll.

Courtney and Twitch are up first and there's a girl in the audience holding a "Twitch Marry Me" sign. I wonder if that's ever worked for anyone? Courtney's playing a crazy girlfriend in a camisole and golf pants, which is an interesting combo. I actually kind of dig it. Twitch lifts her into a crazy helipcopter spin, but this routine feels a bit sloppy. I do quite like Tabitha and Napoleon, though, and still wish T would be my friend. The judges are freaking out. Mary's screaming. Bit strange to see Mandy Moore judging the finale (or judging period).

They're followed by Courtney's solo and subsequent emo breakdown during panel review. There's an interview with C's family at home and she appears to live in a McMansion on Long Island and has a boyfriend named Brett. I wonder if that will kill votes for her? Not that she has a chance in hell in winning. Still, I give her props because her jazz number with Mark was the highlight of the season for me.

What is Mary wearing? She looks scarier than Cat, which is quite a feat. I think she got caught up in some fisherman's nets or something on her way to the studio.

It would be lovely that Wade Robson was back if he hadn't choreographed a bit of a clunker featuring Josh and Katee. What's his deal with John Mayer? This is the second routine (that I remember) he's done to JM (and the last one - gawd - we had to listen to JM like ten times in a row). JM gives me the heebs. Anyway, I wanted to like this lyrical piece better. I'm disappointed. However, I agree with Nigel that Josh and Katee are two of the best the show's ever seen.

Someone better wow me soon.

Katee and Courtney do a Tyce Broadway routine that's cute and features frilly dresses and parasols. Someday I want to wear tulle. I'm a bit confused, the credit said this was Rufus Wainwright's version of "The Trolley Song," but there are no vocals.

Twitch goes for the nerd vote by telling us he wore glasses in junior high and got picked on. He was going to join the Navy if he hadn't made it into the top 20. I think he's confessing to a bit of a romance with Kherington. Do we care? He seems like a genuine, serious young man despite his Love Me grin. I wonder if his gravitas will move people to call in.

I'll be fine with never seeing this "Four Real" move again.

Nigel says the one thing that separates us from the rest of the animals is humor. I disagree.

Twitch and Josh battle it out in a Russian Trepak from The Nutcracker. It's kind of hilariously awesome to hear Tchaikovsky on SYTYCD. Do we really believe Josh has had no formal training? I'm sorry, but I don't think you can do pirouettes and leaps like that out of the blue. Am I wrong? It's entertaining but another vaguely sloppy routine. I guess those two days off really affected show prep. Anyway, at the end of it all, it's clearly Josh: 1. Twitch: 0.

I enjoyed Katee's interview and I guess if I was going to pick up the phone it would be for the Asian power vote.

Speaking of Katee, her Fox Trot with Twitch is pretty sublime. That lift! My goodness!

Okay, we all saw that shot of Josh in ballet class, right?!! See! Then, after his solo, Nigel went on and on and on about how he's untrained. Wha?!

Courtney and Josh flail their way through a jive. Courtney's outfit is almost tragically bad. Some sort of maroon leotard with black beaded fringe and.. knee high boots. Okaaay... Nigel agrees with me that it was weak. Of course he does!

The final performance is a Mia Michaels routine featuring all four dancers. It's fast, it's bizarre, it's brilliant. I want to find that music, "Hallelujah" by The Vitamin String Quartet.

Wow. What a way to end the show. If Josh doesn't win I'll be shocked. What do you think?

Chaps and Anna, if you're reading, THE JONAS BROS WILL BE ON PT 2 OF THE FINALE TOMORROW NIGHT! Aww yeah!

Now it's on to Project Runway.

Oof,
Ms. P

Anderson Cooper, Neil Patrick Harris and I Love You

Neil Patrick Harris recently confessed his lurv for AC in Out magazine.

Anderson Cooper recently confessed his distaste for Living Lohan (but not before doing a spot on impression of Stella from Project Runway).

I actually lol'ed at this clip.

I heart them both,
Ms. P

ps. Tomorrow night is part 1 of the So You Think You Dance finale! You're excited, right? Come on, I know you are!

Donkey Punch II

Okay, I looked it up. I still don't know what it is despite reading several unsavory definitions.

Suffice it to say, if this is a trend in movie-making (are Cleveland Steamer and its sequel Dirty Sanchez far behind?), I have to seriously question where we're headed with film.

OH MY GOD... I just looked and there is a film called Dirty Sanchez. Sigh.

Y to the ick equals YICK.

This is not a great day for posting.

People be scuzzy,
Ms. P

Donkey Punch aka What the #$%*?!!

Tom wanted me to share this with you...



We do not advocate the Donkey Punch because we don't even know what it is. And I'm thinking nor do we want to. It sounds like the kind of thing that's funny but really, judging by this trailer, isn't. Although how the producers expect anyone to take a movie called DP seriously, I don't know.

This doesn't actually look like the "sexiest film of the year."

Kitty kick,
Ms. P

The Teen Choice Awards aka TLDNR

Like, OMG, I can't believe I'm going to write a play-by-play of the Teen Choice Awards, but why the hell not? I know you're watching, just like me!

I wasn't aware the Teen Choice Awards existed, but those surfboards look familiar so maybe I sat through this last year and repressed the memory. However, in my new guise as YA wannabe writer, I feel like watching this (and listening to screaming girls for two hours) is part of the job (and a good excuse to see my super faves The Jonas Bros).

Miley Cyrus opens the show and sings some song (called "7 Things," apparently) while wearing sparkly purple striped - what do you call those? Shorteralls? The outfit is disturbing, especially when matched with slouchy boots with one yellow sock sticking out.

Also, Hannah Montana is sort of freakishly poised for a 15 year old.

First up is Choice Summer Movie, and I love how Journey to the Center of the Earth (which opened what, two weeks ago?) is nominated. I also love how the incredibly violent and R-rated Wanted is in contention, but of course Will Smith and Hancock take home the prize. Will's son could not look less enthused. Will says it was scary to make a movie about "an alcoholic superhero" and that his talent is a "gift from God," which surprises me. I thought he'd gone all Thetan on us?

Josh Duhamel and Demi Lovato (sounds like "roboto") are here to present Choice TV Drama and Chad Michael Murray's date can be seen mouthing "Who's that?" I wonder, too. Of course Gossip Girl is the big winner... did we really think House was going to take it?! Penn Badgley accepts for the cast and rambles on while Leighton Meester and Blake Lively pretend they like each other. Ed Westwick stands off to the side looking hot.

Rainn Wilson comes out to tell us about Ask The Jonas Bros, where girls ask the boys random questions like "What's the strangest gift a fan has ever given you?" Someone please tell me why these drips are famous. Really. I want to know!

Sophia Bush and Drake Bell (don't know who he is, either, but I think she's the one who got jilted by the above mentioned Chad Michael Murray) present Choice Comedian to Adam Sandler. Over Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, Will Ferrell and Dane Cook???? Okay, over Dane Cook I can understand because that guy is a chafe to the infinite power, but MC? JH? Really??! Teens today are weirder than I thought.

Will Smith's kid continues to be unimpressed. David Cook and David Archuleta are sitting next to each other. I feel kind of yucky inside that I know who David Cook and David Archuleta are.

Oh goodie, here's Vanessa Hudgens with Luke Ford (???). VH doesn't seem too bright. They present the Fresh Face Award to Blake Lively. Ooooh, I bet Leighton and Taylor are totally pissed. Why the long face, Dan? I mean Penn. David Beckham sure is excited about her win, though. Posh Spice, not so much.

Holla! It's a Dance Off! The ACDC goes first and no, that's not Angus Young and co. I feel like I'm watching a cheerleading competition. OMG, it's The JabbaWockeeZ! They are a quality crew even if this ACDC stuff kind of blows. Oh look, there's Adam Shankman!

Oh yay, a commercial for JJ Abrams' new show Fringe. Won't be watching that. Still hate him for torturing me with Cloverfield.

Katharine McPhee and Jesse McCartney (does anyone else think he looks like Frankie Muniz?) give the award for Choice MySpacer to Ryan Sheckler. It figures that I don't know who this guy is because I totally do not understand what this award is.

Chad Michael Murray and Leighton Meester (why am I the only person I know who likes her?) present the award for Choice Movie Actor Drama to Channing Tatum. That he wins this over Emile Hirsch, Ryan Phillippe, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Mark Wahlberg is shocking. That he now looks like Axl Rose (fat and face-lifted) is frightening.

Number of times Will Smith has been referenced so far in the show: 1,645,256. He's like the Jack Nicholson of the MTV/Nickelodeon/Teen Choice Awards world.

Three chicks, one of whom is JoJo, another who was the teacher's pet-turned-band manager from School of Rock, and the third, I have no clue, prance onstage to let us know that Juno, which is about teen pregnancy, won a bunch of stuff, but Ellen Page is too cool to show up for this thing. The cast of The Secret Life of the American Teenager, who are not too cool, are on hand to accept their award for Choice Summer Show.

If you read through this whole post I will send you a cookie. For reals. It's going to be about 40 feet long by the time it's done.

Minka something or other and Zac Efron head to the stage amidst screams that can, I'm sure, be heard in space to give the Choice Summer Movie Comedy award to Get Smart. Ooh, Steve Carell is here, and he also won Choice TV Actor. He thanks every teen in the history of the world and then they cut to Will Smith who looks bored but tries to muster a smile (seriously, you can see him trying. His face muscles twitch and everything but no actual grin ever appears).

This JC Penney Breakfast Club commercial is bumming me out.

I've lost count of how many celebs are here who have managed to veneer their top teeth but not their bottom. These people are rich, you'd think they could afford some Zoom and Invisalign on all their toothies. I've also lost count of how many celebs are here that I've never heard of.

Mariah Carey, who is now married to a teen so I guess it's fitting that she's here, performs... some song. Her shorts are really yellow. She'll be loving you long time. Will Smith is way more impressed by Mariah, but his son remains bored as hell.

Rachel Bilson and Chace Crawford appear attractive at first. Then you realize it's saccharin and not sugar that fuels their appeal. They give Choice TV Actress Action Adventure to Hayden Panettiere Drat. I wanted Summer Glau to win. I did watch Remember the Titans for the 900th time the other night, though, and she was purty cute in that.

The Jonas Bros are given about 20 awards. Zzzzz... I mean, JoBro rocks! And the legal ones are smokin'! That one with the thick eyebrows, though... His top teeth are tiny. They remind me of those mini Chiclets.

Scarlett Johansson raided her grandmother's closet and showed up to give the Do Something Award to Chad Bullock. That's a kudo I can get behind.

LL Cool J, who I'm told is no longer relevant, and Natasha Bedingfield , aka Miley Cyrus' role model, unfurl the towel for Chris Brown, Choice Male Artist. I guess the fact that "Forever" is a cleverly concealed Wrigley's jingle doesn't bother the kids. It doesn't bother me, either, actually. In fact, I'd never even heard of CB until Twitch and Comfort danced to said jingle on So You Think You Can Dance (and now I listen to it all the damn time).

The screaming girls have finally gotten to Tom. He just asked me to turn the TV down.

Thomas Dekker, Summer Glau and Brian Austin Green announce some winners who didn't bother to show up. Oh wait, that Lauren girl from The Hills is here. She won something. Why, I do not know. She's trying to pretend she cares about the Do Something teens. I'm not buying it since she couldn't even remember the name of the "kid" she met.

I'm not even going to go into the second part of this Dance Off. OMG, are they playing Red Rover or something? This is weak.

The American Idol Davids give Choice Music Female Artist to, of course, Miley Cyrus. She thanks Jesus Christ. I'm going to hurl.

How come no one ever thanks Satan?

Oh God, it's Lil Mama. She's dressed like a baby? Little Bo Peep? She ruins America's Best Dance Crew for me. Jordin Sparks is kinda hot, though, so it's fitting that she's presenting Choice Hottie to Vanessa Hudgens and The Jonas Bros. How did Adam Sandler not win this one?

Kristen Bell and some tattooed dude wearing a Superman t-shirt give Choice Athlete to Shawn Johnson and David Beckham. Oh. That's what he's doing here. He drags his little Spice Boys onstage with him while Posh applauds as her eyes dart suspiciously left and right. One of the tiny Becks decides to give a breakdancing demonstration. How precocious!

Fergie declares the M&M Crew as Dance Battle Champions.

And thus the Teen Choice Awards 2008 are over.

Until Next Year,
Ms. P

I'm Mad at John McCain

For bringing Paris Hilton back into the news.

Life was getting so peaceful without her around.

Thanks a lot, John!!!

Grr,
Ms. P

ps. In other news, the world is going to hell in a handbasket, for sure.