Britney Spears Feels Old and Boring
I know how you feel, Brit Brit. I know how you feel.
Showing posts with label britney spears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label britney spears. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
MTV Video Music Awards - Too Tired to Really Care
Red carpet notes... T-Pain is on an elephant. Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry (who forgot to get dressed, apparently) are here together to dispel rumors of their big feud (who cares?). Michael Phelps is with Kid Rock. Ashlee Simpson is pregnant. Paris Hilton is lame.
Speaking of boring, that is one thing Russell Brand is NOT. After imploring America to vote for Barack Obama and turning politics into a riff on The Jonas Bros' virginity ("Eight years of Bush is what the Jonas Bros are going to have to cram into their bachelor party." EEP!), I find myself amazed MTV let him say half the things he did. I wonder if they'll ever have him back. I wonder how many angry parents are calling MTV right now.
I am rather fond of Mr. Brand, though. He's mad.
I think the rest of this show is going to pretty much suck (the Britney Spears intro was such a lot of fuss for a whole lot of nothing) so I'm not going to bore you or me with a novel about it. Oh, and Brit Brit won something. She thanked God. W00t.
I leave you with RB and BS doing a couple VMA promos (if you haven' seen them a million times already). The subtitles are entertaining.
PS. Jordin Sparks just said, "It's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?" Does that make people who don't wear them sluts?! Guilty as charged, JS! Or can I not be a slut since I'm married? Hrm.
PPS. Was Christopher Mintz-Plasse really wasted or did Slipknot just make him that way?
PPPS. Why is there so much godawful freaking music out there?!! I feel like my soul has just been eaten.
Speaking of boring, that is one thing Russell Brand is NOT. After imploring America to vote for Barack Obama and turning politics into a riff on The Jonas Bros' virginity ("Eight years of Bush is what the Jonas Bros are going to have to cram into their bachelor party." EEP!), I find myself amazed MTV let him say half the things he did. I wonder if they'll ever have him back. I wonder how many angry parents are calling MTV right now.
I am rather fond of Mr. Brand, though. He's mad.
I think the rest of this show is going to pretty much suck (the Britney Spears intro was such a lot of fuss for a whole lot of nothing) so I'm not going to bore you or me with a novel about it. Oh, and Brit Brit won something. She thanked God. W00t.
I leave you with RB and BS doing a couple VMA promos (if you haven' seen them a million times already). The subtitles are entertaining.
PS. Jordin Sparks just said, "It's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?" Does that make people who don't wear them sluts?! Guilty as charged, JS! Or can I not be a slut since I'm married? Hrm.
PPS. Was Christopher Mintz-Plasse really wasted or did Slipknot just make him that way?
PPPS. Why is there so much godawful freaking music out there?!! I feel like my soul has just been eaten.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Leading with a Condom with Teeth - Tasteless Joke Edition
Today's Google Reader has produced these results:The only way I could sort out incorporating these two stories was to make this icky joke: I guess you can wear Aqua Dots so long as you have one of these. I just can't figure out how it would work. I mean, do you have to wear it all the time just in case? That doesn't seem too comfortable. It's an interesting idea, though.
This story broke my heart then pissed me off. Or maybe it pissed me off then broke my heart. Either way I'm mad and sad. African kids are not accessories like dolls for your daughter to play with, nor are they dogs who are going to give you unconditional affection, you stupid cow. I have my own conflicted thoughts about adoption from my experiences growing up, but this is just ridiculous. I'm relieved for poor "Zahina" that she doesn't have to spend the rest of her years with this narcissistic idiot for a mother.
Britney Spears' lawyer, Anne Kiley, must have graduated from Moron County Community College. Brit is back in court because she can't seem to make her random drug testing appointments. Kiley actually defended this saying Spears doesn't wake up at 8 am and when Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon mentioned that he wakes at 7.30 every morning, her (possibly on) crack attorney interrupted, "You're not a pop star with a No. 1 album." Way to make an argument. I wondered recently how it's possible this girl has no one around her to tell her what's what. Now I get it. Sort of. Low IQ must work like a magnet or something. Is any of this even about her poor kids?
Moving away from the Mother of the Year department, some crazy priest has been jailed for stalking Conan O'Brien. I don't have to give you the one liner about how isn't Conan a little old for a priest, do I?
More things are going on in the world, but I need to get back to work.
One last thing... Mai Tien's link of the day: The Anthropic Principle. I told M I think I subscribe more to misanthropic reasoning but this is interesting.
Toodles,
Ms. P
Friday, November 2, 2007
Make Me Over, Oprah!
I have a new celebrity crush. Ted Gibson, hairstylist to the stars, is sooo adorable! I haven't seen a man wear pink so well in ages.
I'm watching 100 women get new haircuts courtesy of Oprah. For the most part the transformations are pretty amazing (and Ms. O even cut Hilary Swank's hair), but the woman who comes out with the Carol Brady 'do and says she now feels fabulous. Not too sure about that one. And there are a lot of heavy bangs going on. Did you know they call bangs "fringe" in England? When I was on tour with doves we had about a day's worth of fun trying to sort that one out. Anyway, I must confess I have a total weakness for makeover shows and I'm sad that the original What Not to Wear isn't on anymore (even though their hair and makeup fixes were always a bit suspect). I miss Trinny and Susannah!
I would love for Oprah's celebrity hair peeps to get hold of me but now my hair is short and pink so I really don't know what else they could do (well, maybe not Ken Paves. He sort of scares me, and I don't want to end up looking like a Jessica Simpson hairpiece.. Also, Tom's sister does my hair, and she's the best). Everyone's going to laugh at me when I go back to work next week, but I live to bring comedy to my pals. I'm just like the Man of Smiles in The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass!
OMG! The Osmonds reunite next week on Oprah! There's a picture of me floating around out there from 1977 and I have on my sky blue Donny & Marie t-shirt and am sporting a Dorothy Hamill haircut. I saw The Osmonds on tour at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. I am a huge, huge dork and now I can't wait to revel, once again, in all their Mormon glory.
In other news...
Stephen Colbert didn't make it onto the Democratic ticket in South Carolina. Don't worry, I'm sure he'll make it on the Repub's. Insert "not" joke here.
Britney Spears' monthly expenses are $49,267. Oof! I don't make that in a year! I didn't know tanning in Bel Air and being stupid cost that much!
Inside Edition is featuring David Copperfield's pickup techniques tonight. That's not tacky or anything.
I'm sure you've all heard about Duane "Dog" Chapman's racist rant at his son. Well, it turns out the jerk doesn't fall far from the tree as said son is the one who leaked it to the press! I'd never even heard of this guy until this happened and I hope I can go back to never hearing of him again. And I hope they don't let him keep the "dog" name as it's an insult to pooches everywhere. Yet another racist white dude with bad hair is outed to the world. Tee hee, I say.
OK, phone call. Back later,
Ms. P
I'm watching 100 women get new haircuts courtesy of Oprah. For the most part the transformations are pretty amazing (and Ms. O even cut Hilary Swank's hair), but the woman who comes out with the Carol Brady 'do and says she now feels fabulous. Not too sure about that one. And there are a lot of heavy bangs going on. Did you know they call bangs "fringe" in England? When I was on tour with doves we had about a day's worth of fun trying to sort that one out. Anyway, I must confess I have a total weakness for makeover shows and I'm sad that the original What Not to Wear isn't on anymore (even though their hair and makeup fixes were always a bit suspect). I miss Trinny and Susannah!
I would love for Oprah's celebrity hair peeps to get hold of me but now my hair is short and pink so I really don't know what else they could do (well, maybe not Ken Paves. He sort of scares me, and I don't want to end up looking like a Jessica Simpson hairpiece.. Also, Tom's sister does my hair, and she's the best). Everyone's going to laugh at me when I go back to work next week, but I live to bring comedy to my pals. I'm just like the Man of Smiles in The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass!
OMG! The Osmonds reunite next week on Oprah! There's a picture of me floating around out there from 1977 and I have on my sky blue Donny & Marie t-shirt and am sporting a Dorothy Hamill haircut. I saw The Osmonds on tour at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. I am a huge, huge dork and now I can't wait to revel, once again, in all their Mormon glory.
In other news...
Stephen Colbert didn't make it onto the Democratic ticket in South Carolina. Don't worry, I'm sure he'll make it on the Repub's. Insert "not" joke here.
Britney Spears' monthly expenses are $49,267. Oof! I don't make that in a year! I didn't know tanning in Bel Air and being stupid cost that much!
Inside Edition is featuring David Copperfield's pickup techniques tonight. That's not tacky or anything.
I'm sure you've all heard about Duane "Dog" Chapman's racist rant at his son. Well, it turns out the jerk doesn't fall far from the tree as said son is the one who leaked it to the press! I'd never even heard of this guy until this happened and I hope I can go back to never hearing of him again. And I hope they don't let him keep the "dog" name as it's an insult to pooches everywhere. Yet another racist white dude with bad hair is outed to the world. Tee hee, I say.
OK, phone call. Back later,
Ms. P
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Rock of Love Reunion
You watched it. You know you did. And have you ever seen anything more contrived and ridiculous? Seriously - all those women with pink Jes hair? Yeesh - the unreality of Reality TV. The tried and true "keep the crazy person around til the final three" formula gets 'em every time. I'm working super hard on getting Bret Michaels to do The LP Questionnaire, therefore I don't want to be too, err, snarky so I'll keep my thoughts short:
1. Lacey's performance can hardly be classified as music. Or performance, for that matter.
2. Heather looked pretty good. She should rock the blowout and the modest makeup more often. Oh, and the "Bret Sucks" tattoo, as well.
3. Hilarious that the show ended with Heather and Jes hugging while Bret stood alone on stage with whoever that tool of a host was who kept asking the girls to make out.
They need to coin a new word to describe the tired I am at the moment (oh youth, why have you left me?!) T and I got back from K-Town a while ago where we had some tofu hot pots and bi bim bap at Beverly Soon Tofu. The very sweet owner of the restaurant gave me three spoons, and I only wanted one! I have a vast collection of spoons (really - our utensil drawer is overflowing). I used to steal them (and still occasionally do) but now I try to be honest and ask. Anyway, the proprietor explained the difference in spoon shapes in Korea and gave me a couple more with different designs.
Pop culture pundits are bashing Britney on Vh-1 now. Or something. I remember when I saw a much younger Brit (we were at the same restaurant, the name of which escapes me but it was a total Entourage type place) and was surprised that she was actually pretty and seemed sweet. It really blows my mind that this girl has NO ONE in her life to help set her straight - or at least try. Someone needs to sweep her off to the North Pole or something... She can make toys in Santa's workshop and learn many valuable life lessons. Hey, that sounds like a Christmas blockbuster to me! Or at least a really good reality show. Some elf eliminations to create drama, maybe? Santa picks a husband for her?
Speaking of Entourage, we ate breakfast, by chance, at a restaurant the show made popular, Toast on 3rd st. I wish Vincent et al had avoided because the food was hardly worthy of Aquaman.
Indian food, Ryan Pickett, Dave Kissner, Beverly Hills, and Bergamot Station are all on tap for tomorrow.
Omg, I'm rambling. Omg, I just used the abbreviation for "Oh my God".
Toodles kids,
Ms. P
1. Lacey's performance can hardly be classified as music. Or performance, for that matter.
2. Heather looked pretty good. She should rock the blowout and the modest makeup more often. Oh, and the "Bret Sucks" tattoo, as well.
3. Hilarious that the show ended with Heather and Jes hugging while Bret stood alone on stage with whoever that tool of a host was who kept asking the girls to make out.
They need to coin a new word to describe the tired I am at the moment (oh youth, why have you left me?!) T and I got back from K-Town a while ago where we had some tofu hot pots and bi bim bap at Beverly Soon Tofu. The very sweet owner of the restaurant gave me three spoons, and I only wanted one! I have a vast collection of spoons (really - our utensil drawer is overflowing). I used to steal them (and still occasionally do) but now I try to be honest and ask. Anyway, the proprietor explained the difference in spoon shapes in Korea and gave me a couple more with different designs.
Pop culture pundits are bashing Britney on Vh-1 now. Or something. I remember when I saw a much younger Brit (we were at the same restaurant, the name of which escapes me but it was a total Entourage type place) and was surprised that she was actually pretty and seemed sweet. It really blows my mind that this girl has NO ONE in her life to help set her straight - or at least try. Someone needs to sweep her off to the North Pole or something... She can make toys in Santa's workshop and learn many valuable life lessons. Hey, that sounds like a Christmas blockbuster to me! Or at least a really good reality show. Some elf eliminations to create drama, maybe? Santa picks a husband for her?
Speaking of Entourage, we ate breakfast, by chance, at a restaurant the show made popular, Toast on 3rd st. I wish Vincent et al had avoided because the food was hardly worthy of Aquaman.
Indian food, Ryan Pickett, Dave Kissner, Beverly Hills, and Bergamot Station are all on tap for tomorrow.
Omg, I'm rambling. Omg, I just used the abbreviation for "Oh my God".
Toodles kids,
Ms. P
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