They tried to make her go to Rehab, but she said "No, I'll go do SNL with The Rock instead"

I'm watching Saturday Night Live with my (I wish) pal Brian Williams. Barack Obama made a surprise appearance but the real surprise is that Amy Winehouse is performing next week. They're letting her in the country after they denied Lily Allen a visa? Interesting.

Speaking of girlish singers, tonight's musical guest is Feist, who is now torturing me with her ubiquitous hit "1, 2, 3, 4". I think I mentioned before how I probably would have loved this song were it not for the fact that I was subjected to it every five minutes for a month straight. It always annoys me when musicians take the opportunity to completely overdo television appearances by inviting a cast of thousands to join them onstage in one capacity or another. I'm having icky flashbacks to Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" video as her black-masked backup singers 'badap-ba-da-da" all over my TV. I feel sorry for, but am proud of that middle banjo player who said, "Screw this mask thing. They'll see me for who I really am!" Feist isn't bad but she's no Regina Spektor.

I was going to write about watching Galaxy Quest but now it's over and just a "nice memory" as Roger Federer likes to call "yesterday". However, as I recall the movie flopped and I don't really understand why. It had a great cast - a tolerable Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Tony Shaloub, Alan Rickman, Sam Rockwell, Enrico Colantoni (I miss you Keith Mars!) and Jed Rees, who was one of three good things about Elizabethtown with his hilarious portrayal of Chuck "Lovin' Life 24/7" Hasboro (the other two being Paula Dean and Paul Schneider). It was funny. And it featured Justin Long in his first nerd role (I think, but am too tired to look it up).

Other things I feel like mentioning:

Jerry Crasnick at ESPN dug up a funny/strange George Bush quote regarding his lone vote against realignment and a new wild-card system in baseball back when he was the owner of the Texas Rangers (shout out to Sparky Lyle, yo!)...

Said 43: "I made my arguments and went down in flames. History will prove me right."

Is that eerie or what?! History is proving something, I'll say that much.

In other presidential news, Dick Cheney's not having a great time of it lately as he 1) fell asleep during a briefing about the California fires 2) went hunting with racists and 3) mistakenly called Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez the President of Peru. He did dress his dog up as Darth Vader for Halloween, though, and I kind of want to give him points for that.

There was a funny video mashup on, believe it or not, The McLaughlin Group of all the candidates ganging up on Hillary Clinton at the debate this week. I ask you, ladies, what do you think of The Politics of Pile On when it's directed towards a woman? Any differently? I do, but I feel kind of lame about it because she could probably kick their behinds.

Judge Roy Pearson, of the beyond frivolous $54 million missing pants lawsuit, has now lost not only his pants and his stupid lawsuit but his job, too. I'm torn on tort reform. I think there's a need, as evidenced by this, but fear that the real beneficiaries of it won't be small business owners like the Chungs but huge corporations who won't have to pay out the big bucks when they really muck things up.

The Gap is going "Sweatshop Free" after reports surfaced that a subcontractor in India had 1o-year olds making their clothes. I'm relieved about this as I don't really shop anywhere else besides H&M. Also, this could mark a new generation of reform in overseas child labor laws and wouldn't that be great? Let's hope it's real and not PR.

Senator Larry Craig's Administrative Director, Pat Olsen, kept the train of mockery going full steam this week when she sent out an email about a lost watch they found in the men's bathroom. Did she really not know how that one would play out? Ugh. I almost feel sorry for them at this point.

Okay, must go to sleep before 5 am as I'm having breakfast at Toast on Market tomorrow morning! Then I'm off to Austin for a week of work as planning for South by Southwest begins in earnest. I'm looking forward to seeing all my Texas friends and, err, you know, looking forward to :cough: working... too.

My boss reads this so I probably look like a total jerk now. Heh heh.

Lights out, uh huh
Ms. P

ps. Don't forget to turn your clocks back at 2! Or in the morning. If you turn your clock back at 2, when the change happens, do you go back in time? What happens to the time-space continuum??!!!! Nothing, you say? Oh. Drat.

Let the sniping begin!

New York Fashion Week is underway, people!

Day One's marquee names included BCBG, Perry Ellis, Erin Fetherston (someone please tell me why she gets so much hype), Rock and Republic, adam+eve (Oprah loves them!), and most notably, Gwen Stefani's line, L.A.M.B

For full coverage of fashion week, New York magazine has it all.

Obviously I am nowhere near Bryant Park. Seriously, I don't think they let you within a one mile radius of 42nd and 6th if you're wearing anything from Old Navy so that pretty much counts me out. When I stop with the Homemade Pie & Ice Cream Kitchen overdoses and can fit into the AG jeans I bought on Ebay maybe they'll let me circle the block. But those fashionistas, they'll still know i am not one of them.

Anyhoo, why blog about clothes when there are so many other fascinating things going on in the world? Things like Celebrity Rap Superstar! To the anonymous commenter who told me about this abomination... I am speechless. Something I wish these "celebrities" were. However, I will admit that watching Sebastian Bach do "Mama Said Knock You Out"... mildly priceless. Sadly, listening to (Vote for) Pedro (that guy hasn't even had enough of a career to be this over) rap in a strange monotone... not so much.

Well, I'm tired of thinking about whether or not Larry Craig should resign (he should stay but only if he comes out. Oh, my husband just told me he's resigning for sure. He must have woken up to a horse head in his bed the way they've been going after him), tired of seeing pictures of Mitch McConnell's pasty face in conjunction with this story and tired of thinking about Fred "Vote for me, I have a pickup truck!" Thompson entering the race for the GOP nomination. In other words, I need some escape.

And what better way to break free of the bonds of reality than with Spring 2008 as brought to you by a bunch of insane insanely rich designers? I always love their versions of what's "street." I'm never sure which street they're referring to but it's certainly not the one I live on.

Some random thoughts: The pox that is high-waisted is not going away anytime soon (drat) and will arrive next spring in the form of hot pants (yuck). Between high-waisted trousers and skinny jeans, the designers are doing their part to combat the obesity epidemic in this country as the only people for whom these looks are attractive are women with a BMI under 19. Personally, I can't wait for either look to go away as they looked crappy on me the first time around and last time I checked I was still short and still well-fed. I'm always amused when I try on old jeans I've kept around for years only to find that I was wearing Mom jeans in my twenties. Crikey.

Bland colors and boring looks we've seen before peppered the runways. BCBG had some interesting stuff but lowered the bar by making a sad attempt to bring back lingerie as clothing. I hated that ten years ago, hate it now. Rock and Republic showcased some dresses that would make a hooker feel shy. Perry Ellis apparently never wants any man to get the girl (unless perhaps she is blind. Turtlenecks with shorts? Is this for real?) And lastly, though I will admit that Stefani's L.A.M.B. show injected the most life into the proceedings, the clothes were a bit costumey and impractical. Will you be wearing short shorts with sheer knee highs and stilettos come April? No? Me, either. However, kudos to her for not putting me to sleep with earth tones more suited to fall. Just because you throw in a bunch of white pants and skirts, it does not mean spring has sprung.

But really, I bash because I envy! I promise that if I ever win the lottery I will spare no expense to look as stupid as possible! Unfortunately I don't really play the lottery.

When are parachute pants coming back?
Ms. P

ps. I'm writing this while watching Regis Philbin on The View. Man, I hate this show but was convinced by a well-meaning friend to give it another shot. What is up with Hasselbach's hair? How many ugly shades of blonde can you fit on one head? That lady sure is annoying. I really hope i have something better to do tomorrow morning at 11.

Politics of Love - Part Deux

Over the course of a weekend, I watch Real Time with Bill Maher (that was fun watching John Mellencamp defend naivete), Washington Week (Gwen Ifil rocks!), The McLaughlin Group (I watch this show because of two things: an old Berke Breathed Bloom County strip that featured Opus and company doing a hilarious re-enactment and my friend Glen who likes Pat Buchanan and boy have I just tarred him with that statement! Buchanan cracks me up, though. I admit it.), This Week with George Stephanopoulos (Thanks for turning me onto this one, Priscilla. It's also the hub's favorite), Meet the Press, and Chris Matthews' Sunday night roundtable. Oh yes, and Rock of Love.

All this might lead you to believe that I have no life and you might be right but I also managed to buy some nail polish and eat a fancy meal over the last couple of days so you know... I stay active ::sniff::.

It's been a busy week in current events and I'm yearning to pontificate...

Yesterday, the toe-tapping senator from Idaho, Larry Craig, announced his intent to resign at the end of the month. This comes after Mitt Romney said his behavior was "disgusting" and, as mentioned, Mitch McConnell called his actions "unforgivable." Politicians sure are loyal! I guess we won't mention Craig's long relationship with Romney. Craig held himself up as your standard family values Republican butthead so actually, to me it's no surprise that he was getting his kicks George Michael style. All that repression just isn't good for you! I make light but I really do find it sad that anyone, no matter where they fit in the ideological spectrum, can't just openly be who they are. However, it's hard to have a lot of sympathy when it's someone who so vocally wanted to deny rights to the very segment of the population he's a part of.

And speaking of toe-tapping, Craig once belonged to a vocal group called The Singing Senators. Oof. It's Barbershop gone bad and please do click on the link to hear them butchering the classic "Elvira". Singing along with Craig were John Ashcroft (who lost his recent Senate bid to a dead guy), Trent Lott (who announced that this country would be in better shape if Strom Thurmond and his band of racists had won the Presidency a hundred years ago) and Jim Jeffords (who left the Republican party and is apparently the only smart singing senator given how things turned out for the rest).

In other news, I was struck by Alberto Gonzalez' outgoing remarks, particularly when he said that his worst days in office were still better than his father's best days and that he'd lived the American Dream. If this is the American Dream, I say, "No thanks." Also, his father's life must have been pretty crappy and I'm sure he's thrilled that's how he'll be remembered (even though he's been dead for 20 years) Guess I should say, way to sully his name! As for Michael Chertoff taking over as Attorney General... Out of the frying pan and into the fire!

I won't even go into Karl Rove's sendoff other than to say, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out." Our grandkids will still be suffering from the Rove effect. Well, your grandkids will. I can barely handle a dog and a cat so little people... not in the cards.

General David Petraeus is set to give his much anticipated report on the War in Iraq on Sept 10. I'm interested to hear what he has to say but doubt it will make much of a difference. We're sort of damned either way. If he says things are better, more smugness from Bush and we're never getting out. If he says things are worse, more smugness from Bush and we're never getting out. For me, supporting the troops means wanting them to come home.

I heard on The McLaughlin Group that there are 70 million blogs with 120,000 new ones started every day with the theory being that we are all journalists now. If telling you what I ate for breakfast makes me a journalist then yee-haw! A bowl of Fiber One with peaches and Horizon Organic skim milk. Now where's my Pulitzer?!

One last note (to Mary Matalin) before we move on to Rock of Love. I'm glad to see you weren't botoxed to within an inch of your life on Meet the Press. Maybe just six inches this week. I like MTP and Carville is pretty funny but I must say that Stephanopolous' meeting of the minds that more often than not has Fareed Zakaria (who, like Gwen Ifil, rocks!) and George Will is much better. Bob Shrum (aka Peter Pettigrew) does nothing for the Democratic cause.

Not sure what else to say regarding Rock of Love. Lacey shed some crocodile tears, I thought it was hilarious that Bret's "superfans" had only been Poison lovers for 4 and 5 years, I was disappointed to hear that Jes gets collagen injections, and as mentioned it was Sam's turn to go. Oh yes, how could I forget, Heather the stripper got Bret's name tattooed on the back of her neck. How unbelievably stupid is that? I won't even get my husband's name tattooed anywhere! Seriously, she couldn't have signaled the death knell on their relationship any faster than if she'd slept with his best friend (although he seems like such a sleaze he would probably be into that).

Oh yes, Entourage had its season finale tonight. They had people doing the Macarena for God's sake. Boy that show makes me glad I left Los Angeles.

Alright fair readers, Happy Labor Day and until tomorrow...

It's Greenie time!
Ms. P

ps. I took this photo of the Austin, TX capitol building the night I went to see EJ Dionne speak. Dionne is an op-ed writer for The Washington Post. He gave a great talk and I actually felt rather hopeful after hearing him.

Friday Fashion Edition

Good morning, afternoon, evening, fine readers...

Today we delve rather superficially into pop culture and fashion. Sure to be a fascinating ride :smirk: so let's get moving.

Sports
The US Open is underway and tennis actually seems to be taking a back seat to the fashionable stylings of Maria Shriekapova (I mean Sharapova) and Roger Federer. Showing off the finest in Nike couture, Sharapova's little red dress was so exciting to her that she cut her warm up short just so she could put it on! To quote, "When you feel good about what you're wearing and you feel good about putting it on, yeah, you know what it's like. Put on a nice outfit and some makeup and you're the bomb." Indeed.

As for Federer, one could question the wisdom of patent leather and men not to mention patent leather and men and tennis but the Fed pulls it off somehow and as for his $800 haircut... well worth the money, I say! He definitely looks twice as good as John Edwards.

Rafael Nadal's hemlines have been rising with each passing slam and frankly, though I am not sorry to see more leg, I'm a bit sad to see the capri pants go. Maybe they're too constricting with the knee injury.

As for who's winning... All the usual suspects but I was bummed to see Baghdatis lose so early to Mirnyi. At least Henman made it past the opening round. Announcing his retirement seems to have lifted a weight from his shoulders so I say freedom is the best fashion! Of course, by the time you read this he may be out.

Film
Last night I was unfortunate enough to see Becoming Jane. This movie was bad in every way and it didn't help that the volume was so low I could hear the air conditioner at the movie theater over the film. The acting was dreadful, the story dull, and the directing deplorable. This is one of the worst movies I've seen in a while and I watch some pretty crappy movies. That I even titled this section "film" is a bit of an insult to the word.

I wonder if the director hated Anne Hathaway as she was so poorly lit she looked like Casper and often appeared to have a poodle on her head, but perhaps he was just angry at her abominable accent. I keep waiting for Hathaway to break out and be the next Julia Roberts but she won't if she keeps doing junk like this (and Havoc). I think The Devil Wears Prada was meant to do it for her. Too bad she was completely eclipsed by Streep and Blunt.

But this is supposed to be the fashion edition so let me just say - why don't those fabulous designs of the early 1800s make a return? Everything else comes back (much to my dismay). Those empire waist dresses hide a multitude of sins without being too tentish. I know we've been swinging on the trapeze for the last few seasons and the backlash has begun, which is fine because have you noticed how those super a-line swingy things actually only look good on really thin girls? Any bit of girth only serves to make them MORE voluminous. Not good.

Anyway, back to Becoming Jane... though Austen had some very attractive attire, one can only hope that she was not this horribly insipid in real life. Thank God she's dead and doesn't have to witness what they've done to her.

TV
It has come to my attention that nearly every one of my intelligent girlfriends watches America's Next Top Model. I will save my reality TV discussion for another post but... Wow. What am I missing? Someone, please enlighten me! Tyra Banks makes me green (with nausea, not envy) so I've avoided this show like the plague.

What I will not be avoiding is Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. I can't wait to see Master Gunn work his magic with real people instead of whiny wannabe fashion designers. He makes me wish I was a gay man so I could marry him. And speaking of gay marriage...

News
Don't you love how I put the actual news last as if somehow what's really going on in our world is less important? Let's just say, "last but not least."

This might lose me some readers but I am a big advocate for gay marriage rights (to the extent that we went to Massachusetts to get legally married because we wanted a license from a state that a) allowed same-sex marriage and b) (obviously) did not have a constitutional ban against it). So, it definitely made my evening to read that a Polk county, Iowa judge struck down their ban and ruled in favor of same sex marriage. This could all be overturned on appeal but I say bless his little activist judge heart! It really irks me that the Evangelical Right would have no problems using the court to overturn gay rights and Roe v Wade but cry foul when they rule like this. But that's another post entirely. When will I ever get to these things, I wonder!

Also, speaking of all things gay... Senator Larry Craig might resign today. This is a shame. How come Republican senators can have affairs and see hookers and that's ok but God forbid they be gay? We all know the answer to this but urgh... I know we are all hypocritical to some extent but really, these so-called Christians take the cake. And when did tapping your foot become the international sign for bathroom sex? Clearly I missed something.

Okay... before this post becomes something akin to War and Peace (only less entertaining), I bid you adieu. Happy Friday, good people.

Sartorially yours,
Ms. P

ps. Yes, I posted another picture of the bean and no, it has nothing to do with fashion. Or does it?!